Do your family/friends say this?

greengirl0909 · April 2011

We announced our BFP two weeks ago. Since that time EVERY time I've visited/talked/emailed with my mom she's had something negative to say in regards to work/money/stress. "This is going to stress you out you know. Your love is going to be spread really thin. How are you going to afford 2 in day care?"

Then today, my sister, who is usually a big supporter, sent me a freaking out email about money and how on earth are we going to afford this second baby, day care, medical bills, food, and stuff for the baby and so on.

What is their goal? Do they think these worries aren't already in my head? Do they think I can change my mind, and even if I could, that I would?

Does this happen to you? How do you response? It's totally overwhelming me at this point!

rena5498 · April 2011

None of my family has said anything like that to me its not their place they dont pay my bills. Sorry to hear they sound so negative and unsupportive. Obviosuly since you are the one who has to deal with all those expenses and they dont its pretty much common sense you have already thought about how you and yours will handle those issues. Some people just dont think when they make comments. Whats up with the comment your love is going to be spread really thin sheesh people can be so harsh...

mrsseguin · April 2011

No, people didn't make comments about how we could handle things financially. Why would they say that to you? Are you struggling? It's none of their business. I really don't know what to tell you to say to them about those comments...

mlf625 · April 2011

No. Nobody did that to me. You need to tell your mom and sister to back off - do you typically allow people to butt into your private business? If so, it may be time to set up some boundaries.

l_elizabeth · April 2011

They don't because it's extremely rude, unhelpful, and at this point, pointless. You need to stand up for yourself, or they're going to keep doing it. I'm sorry-- I think it's stressful on any couple to prepare for another child, let alone have to deal with these comments. I'd write back with something short but to the point-- your job is to be pregnant and figure things out, and their job is to be supportive.

ShannonSky · April 2011

Goodness, that's obnoxious. You should ask your mom if her love was spread thin between you and your sister. If your sis is usually supportive, it makes me wonder if she talked to your mom and had that bug put in her ear.

meredith9 · April 2011

I think you need to have a sit down with your family & explain that they are not helpful and that right now you just need their support.

I hope it gets better!!

xtencornfield · April 2011

About money and such, absolutely not. Frankly, we're in a much better financial position than either set of parents were when they were having kids and than many of our siblings. My mom was a single mom to two kids and DH's parents had 6 kids, most fairly close in age.

However, my mom has been negative about me being pg again so soon because she lost a baby mid-term after having me. We would have been about 2 years apart. It's sad that she just can't be happy about it. I try not to let her negativity get to me too much. She has a tendency to be overly negative, so I've gotten good at ignoring it over the years:oP

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