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Pennsylvania Babies
New Mom with questions
So, I waited until I was 35 to have kids thinking that I'd be older and wiser. The reality is that I feel like I'm about 18! Here are my questions about my 1 month old. I'm sure there will be more to follow:
1) Baby sleeps wonderfully in my arms, but I cant hold her 24/7. As soon as I put her in her bed, she wakes up and screams. We've tried swaddling, but she always fights her way out. Even swaddling blankets with velcro - she finds a way out. Any suggestions?
2) I keep hearing conflicting messages on feeding schedules. One source says feed when they're hungry - another source says insist they stay on a schedule. I create a schedule which she sometimes sticks to, but then other times she gets hungry in between feedings - or is she really hungry? Not sure!
3) She hated my breastmilk. First of all, I couldn't get her to suck at the nipple, so I just pumped into a bottle for her. Then, she couldn't digest it well. She had so much gas. I changed my diet (no onions, garlic, caffeine, dairy, etc), but nothing worked. Only formula made her less gassy. So now, all she has is formula. I keep getting the feeling (from things I read online) that no breastmilk is a bad idea.
Any help/suggestions would be great!
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Re: New Mom with questions
First of all, congratulations!! It doesn't matter what age you are, being a new mom is tough!! We all know what you are going through. Hang in there!!!
1. I had the same problem with my son. He would not nap in a crib or pack n play for the first couple months. He hated to be swaddled too! The only thing that worked for us was putting him in the swing to sleep or there were times that we had to take a drive just to get him to sleep. It was frustrating but it did not last forever.
2. I am all about a schedule HOWEVER those first couple months you really just need to go with what works for them and pay attention to their cues. I started really working on a schedule closer to 3-4 months and I am still very strict with keeping my son on a schedule today. He totally thrives on a schedule but every child is different and every lifestyle is different. I'm lucky to be able to stay at home with him during the week so my life isn't too hectic with work stuff, daycare, etc. so a schedule was the way to go for me. I know other moms that would never be able to do a schedule but it works for them.
3. I had issues with breast feeding and I changed to formula when he was 2 weeks old. DO NOT LET OTHERS MAKE YOU FEEL BAD FOR SWITCHING!!!!! I got the comments, the looks from other moms when I said that I was not breast feeding BUT I'm happy to say that my son is VERY VERY healthy and had no problems. I was formula fed as a kid and turned out just fine. There is NOTHING wrong with formula feeding. It worked out SOOO much better for everyone that I switched...it was the best decision for us.
Good luck!!! I remember researching like crazy when my son was first born about how I should do this and how I should do that...it drove me insane! I highly recommend to NOT read into everything because it will just make things worse. Just do what is good for you and your family and she will thrive!!! : )
Regarding #1: the Miracle Blanket is one of the Best. Inventions. Ever. My MIL called it the straight jacket (it kinda is), but that thing locked my kiddo in tightly enough for him to sleep soundly without breaking out.
Also: a sling or Moby wrap. Baby can sleep while you get things done. We loved the Baby Balboa sling.
My son wouldn't do the swing until 2 months -- up to then it was swaddle and sling for us, when he wasn't sleeping on me. Which, let's be honest, was sometimes the only way to get him to settle and sleep.
But to Lesli's point -- there are no right answers, just endless things to try, to see what works for you.
In my bag: Canon 60D, 50mm 1.4, Tamron 28-75 2.8, 430exii
As Lesli already said - congratulations! Being a momma is hard work, and there's a learning curve for everyone at the beginning, no matter your age. Anyway, my own experiences w/your questions:
1. DS refused to be swaddled - he would scream, flail, cry, etc. ... just generally become hysterical if you so much as attempted it - so we never swaddled. We did have some on hand, though, and one you may want to check, since she works her way out of the "usual" swaddling blankets, is the Woombie. They're a tight-fitting, stretchy sack that zips up the front, so they're virtually impossible to escape from. We had one, and I tried it on DS once just out of curiosity to see how it worked. He was a master at getting his hands free in a Miracle Blanket, but couldn't budge in the Woombie.
2. We have a schedule now, but in the early days, we followed DS's cues to guide his eating. Actually, our "schedule" now is still based on his cues - he just naturally fell into a schedule of his own around 3-4 months, and we've been golden since. Anyway, when they're so little, they will get hungry frequently b/c their bellies can only hold a little at a time, which is what I always reminded myself of when DS was eating for what seemed like the 50th time that day. Some people looooove schedules for their kiddos, others don't (or they don't work w/their lifestyles), but that's completely up to you - once she's developmentally ready.
3. Honestly, there is so much emphasis put on BFing, and while I do agree it is important (I EBF for the first 3 months, then supplemented for the fourth month), bottom line is that your child is being fed. Personally, we gave BFing our best shot, but it wasn't working for DS - he wasn't growing appropriately on my BM, so formula was the solution, and he began to grow beautifully after that. Have I had to deal w/some inappropriate comments? Yes, but they've only been from strangers, who have no idea what my story is and why I FF my child. And really, I could care less what a bunch of strangers think about how I feed my baby. I have gone through the worry, the doubt, the fear, the guilt, all of it - just b/c I couldn't BF my baby as planned, and as society drills you to believe is the "right" way, but all I have to do is look at my healthy, thriving baby, and I know I've made the right choice for HIM. That's what you need to focus on, and just ignore everything else.
Hang in there and good luck! The early weeks are tough, but they will fly by!
... every single day of forever.
I second the sleep sacks and mircale blankets for swaddling. You can only swaddle them up to about 3months old because that's around the time they start rolling. To transition out of the swaddle start with 1 arm out, then both arms (wrapped only around the chest).
Make sure you put your baby down drowsy but awake. This was my biggest mistake! I would always put Hannah down when she was completely asleep, she would wake up crying within 45 minutes. A friend told me it's kind of like falling asleep in a chair, but when you wake up your somewhere else, you'd be pretty upset too (just an example).
I also second the moby wrap and when your baby is about 5 months + the Ergo.
Don't feel guilty about giving your baby formula. I beat myself up about it for the first 12 months about it, but in the end, I have a happy, healthy, smart little princess. Good luck you. It gets easier! Enjoy your little angel.