Nanny - naps - 16 mo and 7mo old - help!

momofolivia · April 2011

I posted this on the AP board, but I am looking for a perspective from moms with 2u2:

Our wonderful nanny for my 7mo DD also watches her 16mo son in our house. For the past 2 months for naps, she typically lays in the guest room with both kids and holds them while they sleep.

Her son is not sleeping well, and neither is my DD (she is a very light sleeper). Lately she has been having to drive around to get them both to sleep. Neither of them are sleeping more than 1 hour at a time; sometimes he only sleeps once a day.

Anyone have advice on how she can get both kids to nap at the same time without ignoring one to get the other settled? We both follow AP, so CIO is not an option.

We are both at a loss on how to do this because if she has to rock DD to sleep, then her DS is running around the house unsupervised (he's not ready for that). If she puts DS down first, then DD is being ignored in the other room.

My DD needs more naps than her son (and longer), and neither are really at the point where they will sleep for a long period of time without some interaction (rocking, bum patting, shushing, etc.).

Any help is appreciated.

howleyshell · April 2011

I put together a box full of quiet toys for the toddler to play with in the baby's room while I rocked and nursed him down for nap.

Shoes and tupperware became the favorites.

I closed all of us into the 1 room where I could easily watch the toddler while getting the baby down and once the baby was down I'd go to the toddler's room with him to get him down.

From there - white noise.

Nap them in different rooms, 2 monitors and white noise everywhere you can put it. We had a white noise machine in each kid's room, the bathroom fan and a box fan running in the hall during nap times so they wouldn't wake the other one if/when one woke before the other.

momofolivia · April 2011

Thanks Howley - good to "see" you again!

howleyshell · April 2011

momofolivia:
Thanks Howley - good to "see" you again!

You too, Ms. MOO!

Looks like you've had your hands full with 2 beautiful girls!?!?!

ADORE your siggy.

So incredibly sweet!

momofolivia · April 2011

Thanks - you too! The boys are getting so big! I have not been a good Bumpie as of late. Just don't seem to have the time...

laura1 · April 2011

I put my toddler in a pack and play with toys while I put DD down for her nap in the morning. For the afternoon nap, I get my DD down while DS is finishing up his lunch (usually just eating applesauce or something else he can't choke on while I am putting DD down), and put her in the pack and play in our room. Then DS goes down in his room when he finishes eating.

Good luck!

sweetpea2003 · April 2011

Well, my (possibly unpopular with you) opinion is that allowing for healthy sleep and working toward solid naps is more important than bing AP 100% of the time with the nanny. It is extremely unfortunate that becuase you refuse to put your child down in a crib to sleep solo (and more soundly) they are going to suffer. Tired babies learn less, are more cranky, and cry more. Watching parents do this to their children probably upsets me as much as Ferberizing upsets you.

I am all for co-sleeping, baby wearing, etc when it is feasible. But with a small toddler and baby you need to make things work. And teaching your baby healthy sleep habits is necessary.

When my son was too small to cry at all (0-4m) I had a little toy box for my DD to play with while I nursed/rocked my DS to sleep. I taught my DD to be quiet around DS when we were getting ready for naps. As long as she was in her room (baby-proof) with her books and toys, I could rock DS in the dark next door with no fear at all for DD's safety. It worked great.

Now that my son is a little older we used the techniques from Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child to get him napping without needing to be rocked to sleep. Now I can go upstairs with a drowsy/awake baby, put him in his crib, turn on his sound machine, and walk away. DD is left alone for 2 minutes tops. He falls asleep happily with no crying and sleeps for 1-2 hours in the morning, 2-3 hours in the afternoon. I even got DD and DS on the same afternoon nap schedule (which is how I am writing this post) so I even get some time to clean, prepare for dinner, or relax with my computer or a book.

Your nanny will be much more effective if you would be willing to teach your daughter how to fall asleep independantly. There really isn't that much crying. I actually find there is less crying overall with babies who are sleep trained because they don't have issues as they get older and circumstances make it impossible for mom or dad to rock/lay down/co-sleep/hold the baby during all naps and overnight.

Chances are you won't listen to my post because everyone on the AP board will think my HSHHC techniques aren't AP kosher. I just think that your baby, your nanny, and your nanny's toddler will all be much much happier if everyone can sleep independantly and happily. If I tried to lay down with my 5 month old and 21 month old NOBODY would sleep. It would be a trainwreck.

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Nanny - naps - 16 mo and 7mo old - help!

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