Community› The Bump Month Clubs› September 2011 Moms
September 2011 Moms
New Discussion

Update on my sister's wedding

mrsmikeymrsmikey
in September 2011 Moms

I can't find my original post about this, but you guys might remember.  My sister is getting married Sept. 3rd and I am due Sept. 16th, so I can't go b/c it's 3 hours away.

So, I sent her a message the day after I found out (via FB remember?) that I was so excited for her and happy for them, but unfortunately wouldn't be able to make it b/c the baby was due 2 weeks later.  I never heard back from her so I dropped it.

FF to yesterday, I called my parents to update them on the u/s from yesterday, and my dad mentioned that I wouldn't be coming to the wedding.  I said yeah, it sucks, I'm really bummed.  But there's nothing I can do about it.  He said yeah, I know, but your sister is really upset. 

REALLY?!  If she's so damned upset then why did she not consider that when planning her wedding?  Oh, it just made me mad.  And I pretty much said that to him, only in nicer, more sensitive words.  He pretty much said the wedding date was decided on more by her fiance and his family than her, and there wasn't alot she could do about it b/c that's when they could come.  Well, that's fine then.  But don't give me a guilt trip about not being able to make it. 

So, I kinda feel bad for my sister, because I don't think she's mad at me, I think she's just upset that I can't come.  And probably feels like her FI's family has taken over her day.  But I could've told ya that, that's just how they are.  At the same time though, I'm mad at my family because I really don't think they understand that I really CAN'T make that trip.

My dad even had the balls to say, well maybe the baby will come early. Angry  Yes, because early babies are awesome dad.  Remember when Eli was born and we were so lucky he got to spend 3 weeks in the NICU?  That would be perfect, because then I could still come and wouldn't even have to worry about traveling with a baby or getting a babysitter!  It's the perfect solution.  Asshats.

I just said no, because I won't be traveling with a newborn either.  What the hell is wrong with people?

image

Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Lilypie First Birthday tickers
Report Reply to Post

Re: Update on my sister's wedding

  • bradandjackiebradandjackie member
    ugh!   good for you for standing your ground.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • mishelemishele member

    I'm sorry you had to make a decision like that.  It sinks that they're trying to make you feel guilty about it.  It's not something trivial that's preventing you from going, you're making a person. 

    My B&SIL do things like this all the time.  They constantly plan things around her family's schedule with no regard to my MIL who has to fly in for events.  Like planning major events on Thanksgiving weekend for two years in a row.  Because we all know how easy and inexpensive it is to fly that weekend.  My favorite was when my BIL decided to convert to my SIL's religion.  The ceremony was on my MIL's birthday.  Well, my BIL actually had the stones to get mad at her for not paying hundreds of dollars to fly in on her birthday to watch her son renounce his religion. 

    Have you spoken to your sister about it since talking to your dad?

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • MsCrispyMsCrispy member
    I don't get why your future BIL's family gets to pick the day? Is there a reason that they need that specific date? I don't get it and I feel bad for your sister if she doesn't feel comfortable pushing back on her fiance.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers
    Report Reply
  • marriedfilingjointlymarriedfilingjointly member

    Oh wow.  Your dad's comments kill me. 


    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Married Filing Jointly Blog
    Report Reply
  • BlueEyedBoyMeetsABrownEyedGirlBlueEyedBoyMeetsABrownEyedGirl member
    Wow!  I remember your OP.  I know you said you are close with your sister, but I have to say...she doesn't have the right to be upset about the outcome here!  She should have taken the initiative to push back against her FI and/or ILs and say "I need my sister to be there, so this date won't work."  I'm a little worried for her if she didn't feel comfortable doing that.  Good for you for standing your ground.  Since you are close, I hope you and your sister can move past this together.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • mrsmikeymrsmikey

    imageMsCrispy:
    I don't get why your future BIL's family gets to pick the day? Is there a reason that they need that specific date? I don't get it and I feel bad for your sister if she doesn't feel comfortable pushing back on her fiance.

    His family is just really overbearing like that.  And my sister is pretty much the opposite of me in that way.  His family is just huge, and they pretty much take over anything.  So I guess somehow they all decided that's the date that would work best for all of them, maybe b/c it's a holiday weekend?  I have no idea. 

    But my sister has been bugging him to set a wedding date for forever (they've been together for forever) so I guess when he finally settled on a day, she was just glad to have something set in stone and I doubt even crossed her mind at the time that I might not be able to come.  The rest of our family all lives right there in town, I'm pretty much the only person that will be traveling. 

    I agree with you, but that's just how it is with them.  I'm willing to bet she said "wait, my sister can't come" and his response was "well if we change the date then so and so and so and so can't come."  And she probably left it at that.

    image

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • SusieBWSusieBW member
    That really stinks.  I'm sorry that this is happening.  It really stinks that her fiance's family is like that and that it has to spill over into potentially hurting your relationship with your sister.  Sad  I hope that you and your sister are able to move past it and stay close.  Hopefully you can talk to her and make sure that you all understand where each other are coming from, and then move on. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • JDMC1112JDMC1112
    I remember your OP and was hoping the date wasnt set in stone so you would be able to attend - that stinks. I can understand your sister being upset that you wont be there BUT I dont understand why she made it clear to your parents that she was upset but couldnt bother to respond to your message or call you and talk about it. She might feel better about the situation if she were able to talk to you about it. It sucks that his family is doing all the decision making for what should be her day but if she isnt one to stick up for herself thats the way its going to go. Maybe you and your sister can plan some time together either before the wedding or a bit after your LO is born to make up for it - of course it wont be the same but maybe a small weekend trip or a spa day or something would be nice for the two of you to do together.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"