Community› The Bump Message Boards› Stay at Home Moms
Stay at Home Moms
New Discussion

"How do you live on one income" is the most nonsensical question.

babypuplovebabypuplove
in Stay at Home Moms
This question always irritates me because it is just silly.  A family with two incomes doesn't necessarily bring in more than a family with one income.  Some people make $25k a year, and some make $150k a year, and some make even more or less.  Obviously two small salaries wouldn't even come close to touching one of the larger salaries, so it's like comparing apples to oranges.  "How do you live on one income?"  "Since you live on one income, you must cut back on a lot.", etc, etc, etc.  Annoying!
BabyFruit Ticker On our way to 3 under 4! DD1 1/22/09 DD2 7/16/10 Baby Boy Due This Summer!
Report Reply to Post

Re: "How do you live on one income" is the most nonsensical question.

  • ali-1411ali-1411 member
    I know.  And you have to consider location.  We do fine on DH's salary in Central Texas but we couldn't do it in a big city.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • babypuplovebabypuplove

    imageali-1411:
    I know.  And you have to consider location.  We do fine on DH's salary in Central Texas but we couldn't do it in a big city.

    Exactly.   

    BabyFruit Ticker On our way to 3 under 4! DD1 1/22/09 DD2 7/16/10 Baby Boy Due This Summer!
    Report Reply
  • passar3588passar3588

    I think it's because a lot of people live off both incomes before having children. Many people make what they spend so the prospect of giving up one salary seems impossible. I can see WHY people ask the question, but the answer is simple. If you live off one salary from the time you are married, it's not so hard to live off that salary when you have children.

    And I do agree that it depends on COL as well.

    ETA: I guess my point is that I don't think that the amount that a household brings in is that releveant. It's how people spend what they bring in. If a couple making $150k spend everything they make every month, it does seem impossible to live without the other income. Conversely, if a couple makes 100k and lives on 50k before having children, they will be able to live without one income. (Assuming that they each make 50k.)

    Report Reply
  • kdalessandrokdalessandro

    I almost don't want to admit I was watching Dr. Phil yesterday, but he was doing an episode on finances/debt and one of the experts he had on the show says that any couple, whether they have two incomes or one should only be spending half of what they make every month.  The rest obviously should be for savings, rainy days, or WAITING to take the fancy vaca you want or whatever...

    Sorry don't mean to go off topic here, but I find that interesting because yeah, even if you have two incomes before having kids if you are living by the rule of only spending half of that per month, you'll do just fine when you go down to one. 

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • ayramayram member
    imagekdalessandro:

    I almost don't want to admit I was watching Dr. Phil yesterday, but he was doing an episode on finances/debt and one of the experts he had on the show says that any couple, whether they have two incomes or one should only be spending half of what they make every month.  The rest obviously should be for savings, rainy days, or WAITING to take the fancy vaca you want or whatever...

    Sorry don't mean to go off topic here, but I find that interesting because yeah, even if you have two incomes before having kids if you are living by the rule of only spending half of that per month, you'll do just fine when you go down to one. 

    But then when you go down to one income, it's likely that you will spend more than half....sigh...

    Mom to 4 boys under age 6 Evan, Darren, Liam & Isaac
    Report Reply
  • AndrewsgalAndrewsgal member
    imagepassar3588:

    I think it's because a lot of people live off both incomes before having children. Many people make what they spend so the prospect of giving up one salary seems impossible. I can see WHY people ask the question, but the answer is simple. If you live off one salary from the time you are married, it's not so hard to live off that salary when you have children.

    And I do agree that it depends on COL as well.

    ETA: I guess my point is that I don't think that the amount that a household brings in is that releveant. It's how people spend what they bring in. If a couple making $150k spend everything they make every month, it does seem impossible to live without the other income. Conversely, if a couple makes 100k and lives on 50k before having children, they will be able to live without one income.

    I disagree I do think the amount the household brings in is very releveant, there are places in the country you would be homeless on what some people live on in LCOL areas, of course the amount you bring in matters, of course so does how you spend it. Money Management is not anything without money to manage.

    To the OP I agree with you. DH earns more now than we did together when we first got married 6 years ago.  

    Report Reply
  • Geek_GirlGeek_Girl member

    I think the people that ask this question aren't willing to give up whatever it is they're spending their 'extra' income on.  If they're blowing through what they BOTH make and don't want to give anything up, then yes, its hard to fathom doing it on one income.  (Taking the income and COL out of the equation.)

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • passar3588passar3588
    imageAndrewsgal:
    imagepassar3588:

    I think it's because a lot of people live off both incomes before having children. Many people make what they spend so the prospect of giving up one salary seems impossible. I can see WHY people ask the question, but the answer is simple. If you live off one salary from the time you are married, it's not so hard to live off that salary when you have children.

    And I do agree that it depends on COL as well.

    ETA: I guess my point is that I don't think that the amount that a household brings in is that releveant. It's how people spend what they bring in. If a couple making $150k spend everything they make every month, it does seem impossible to live without the other income. Conversely, if a couple makes 100k and lives on 50k before having children, they will be able to live without one income.

    I disagree I do think the amount the household brings in is very releveant, there are places in the country you would be homeless on what some people live on in LCOL areas, of course the amount you bring in matters, of course so does how you spend it. Money Management is not anything without money to manage.

    To the OP I agree with you. DH earns more now than we did together when we first got married 6 years ago.  

    To say that it has nothing to do with how you manage what you make is ridiculous. I do agree that COL is a factor, but if you are having these discussions with people in the same COL area, it's all relative.
    Report Reply
  • AndrewsgalAndrewsgal member
    imagepassar3588:
    imageAndrewsgal:
    imagepassar3588:

    I think it's because a lot of people live off both incomes before having children. Many people make what they spend so the prospect of giving up one salary seems impossible. I can see WHY people ask the question, but the answer is simple. If you live off one salary from the time you are married, it's not so hard to live off that salary when you have children.

    And I do agree that it depends on COL as well.

    ETA: I guess my point is that I don't think that the amount that a household brings in is that releveant. It's how people spend what they bring in. If a couple making $150k spend everything they make every month, it does seem impossible to live without the other income. Conversely, if a couple makes 100k and lives on 50k before having children, they will be able to live without one income.

    I disagree I do think the amount the household brings in is very releveant, there are places in the country you would be homeless on what some people live on in LCOL areas, of course the amount you bring in matters, of course so does how you spend it. Money Management is not anything without money to manage.

    To the OP I agree with you. DH earns more now than we did together when we first got married 6 years ago.  

    To say that it has nothing to do with how you manage what you make is ridiculous. I do agree that COL is a factor, but if you are having these discussions with people in the same COL area, it's all relative.
    I never said it had nothing to do with how you manage it, in fact I said just the opposite, you were making the point that it is more about management than the amount you make and I disagree. SIL stayed home and literally lived in our neighborhood, they earned a third of what DH does it does not matter how well they managed it, they would still not have had enough for her to SAH the money was just not there.
    Report Reply
  • passar3588passar3588
    imageAndrewsgal:
    imagepassar3588:
    imageAndrewsgal:
    imagepassar3588:

    I think it's because a lot of people live off both incomes before having children. Many people make what they spend so the prospect of giving up one salary seems impossible. I can see WHY people ask the question, but the answer is simple. If you live off one salary from the time you are married, it's not so hard to live off that salary when you have children.

    And I do agree that it depends on COL as well.

    ETA: I guess my point is that I don't think that the amount that a household brings in is that releveant. It's how people spend what they bring in. If a couple making $150k spend everything they make every month, it does seem impossible to live without the other income. Conversely, if a couple makes 100k and lives on 50k before having children, they will be able to live without one income.

    I disagree I do think the amount the household brings in is very releveant, there are places in the country you would be homeless on what some people live on in LCOL areas, of course the amount you bring in matters, of course so does how you spend it. Money Management is not anything without money to manage.

    To the OP I agree with you. DH earns more now than we did together when we first got married 6 years ago.  

    To say that it has nothing to do with how you manage what you make is ridiculous. I do agree that COL is a factor, but if you are having these discussions with people in the same COL area, it's all relative.
    I never said it had nothing to do with how you manage it, in fact I said just the opposite, you were making the point that it is more about management than the amount you make and I disagree. SIL stayed home and literally lived in our neighborhood, they earned a third of what DH does it does not matter how well they managed it, they would still not have had enough for her to SAH the money was just not there.

    Well, it sounds like your SIL should have been living in a different neighborhood!

    Report Reply
  • babypuplovebabypuplove
    imageAndrewsgal:
    imagepassar3588:

    I think it's because a lot of people live off both incomes before having children. Many people make what they spend so the prospect of giving up one salary seems impossible. I can see WHY people ask the question, but the answer is simple. If you live off one salary from the time you are married, it's not so hard to live off that salary when you have children.

    And I do agree that it depends on COL as well.

    ETA: I guess my point is that I don't think that the amount that a household brings in is that releveant. It's how people spend what they bring in. If a couple making $150k spend everything they make every month, it does seem impossible to live without the other income. Conversely, if a couple makes 100k and lives on 50k before having children, they will be able to live without one income.

    I disagree I do think the amount the household brings in is very releveant, there are places in the country you would be homeless on what some people live on in LCOL areas, of course the amount you bring in matters, of course so does how you spend it. Money Management is not anything without money to manage.

    To the OP I agree with you. DH earns more now than we did together when we first got married 6 years ago.  

    We're in the same boat; DH earns more than we did when we were both working as well.  That's kind of my point, our 'two incomes' were less than our current 'one income', so the question in general is just ridiculous IMO.  Everyone's situation is different.  And I completely agree that money management isn't anything without money to manage, but the opposite is true as well.  If you are spending every penny and don't save anything, then you'll have trouble even if you do make a large salary. 

    BabyFruit Ticker On our way to 3 under 4! DD1 1/22/09 DD2 7/16/10 Baby Boy Due This Summer!
    Report Reply
  • Glendi2.0Glendi2.0

    I don't think it's *that* insane a question... most people usually ask it from their current vantage point, not really taking into consideration other factors or where they might be financially ten years from now. Frankly, I myself wondered how the heck we'd do it- now (like others), DH makes significantly more on his own than we did as a dual income family. Silly me- that hadn't occurred to me!

    Also, our financial picture was somewhat ideal for SAH parenting- I probably brought in 25-30% of our income, so there wasn't a huge hit to our bottom line when I stopped working. I suppose that's another factor. You can have two families making 150K- but there's a much bigger adjustment for the family where the two people were both earning 75K, as opposed to the second family, where worker #1 earns, say, 110K and worker #2 earns 40K...

    A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost. ~Marion C. Garrett
    image7_0002 A ~ 2.7.06 S ~ 9.2.07
    Report Reply
  • alli2672alli2672 member

    Glendi, I guess that makes sense.  I never understood that question either.  My thought was always "well, the same way you live on two incomes." 

    We had children right after we got married, so we never did the DINK lifestyle (or anything remotely close).  

    Report Reply
  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member
    I think it's a natural curiosity. The majority of families in America are living paycheck to paycheck. I think people are curious how in a society where it seems to be that 2 incomes are essential that people can make it by on one income and many moms want to be able to do it.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • JOEBunnyJOEBunny member

    I resisted the urge to respond to this question from a neighbor the other day.  What I wanted to say is, "Our one income is probably 2X yours".  What I said instead was,  "We make more with DH focusing on his career 50-55 hours a week than we would if we both worked 40 hours a week, since their is a high premium for availability in our industry." 

    We also saved a lot in our 20's, whereas, it would seem that a lot of people do not.

    I love the post about, "I feel bad for SAHM who have no retirement".  Huh?  Savings doesn't have anything to do with who brings in the money.  It has to do with how much you save.
    Report Reply
  • mandymackmandymack member

    I read every single one of these types of posts and the majority of people asking this question appear to truly NOT be able to afford to SAH.  If they could afford it, it should be as simple as: evaluate your budget, quit your job, and be a SAHM.  They wouldn't need to come here asking "how do you do it?".  Right?

    If you notice, they are always asking about how/where to cut back spending, can you/do you have just one car, do you bring in any money (the "how can I WAH question"), etc.  And it makes sense that someone would come here and ask this question because, honestly, the majority of couples can't afford for their wives to quit her job, start living off her husband's salary without prior planning and possibly prior saving, AND continue a "comfortable lifestyle" where they can save for retirement, shop as usual, spend money on children's activities, etc.  It's more common that there are some major adjustments and sacrifices to be made in order to make having a SAH parent a reality.  You know what I mean?

    I think this reality is also why we get so many "how can I make money while a SAHM?" questions on this board: because the majority of SAHMs CANNOT afford to just be a SAHM.

    eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

    Report Reply
  • babypuplovebabypuplove
    imageTobeMrs.Shavers:

    I read every single one of these types of posts and the majority of people asking this question appear to truly NOT be able to afford to SAH.  If they could afford it, it should be as simple as: evaluate your budget, quit your job, and be a SAHM.  They wouldn't need to come here asking "how do you do it?".  Right?

    If you notice, they are always asking about how/where to cut back spending, can you/do you have just one car, do you bring in any money (the "how can I WAH question"), etc.  And it makes sense that someone would come here and ask this question because, honestly, the majority of couples can't afford for their wives to quit her job, start living off her husband's salary without prior planning and possibly prior saving, AND continue a "comfortable lifestyle" where they can save for retirement, shop as usual, spend money on children's activities, etc.  It's more common that there are some major adjustments and sacrifices to be made in order to make having a SAH parent a reality.  You know what I mean?

    I think this reality is also why we get so many "how can I make money while a SAHM?" questions on this board: because the majority of SAHMs CANNOT afford to just be a SAHM.

    Oh, I completely agree that most people can't just quit on a whim and stay home comfortably.  Those of us who can have probably planned for it, and/or are lucky enough to have a DH with a larger salary. It's just this one question that seems to not make sense to me if you really think about it, but I guess if I were in their shoes and decided last minute I wanted to SAH, I might wonder how others did it, assuming they didn't plan ahead of time either. 

    BabyFruit Ticker On our way to 3 under 4! DD1 1/22/09 DD2 7/16/10 Baby Boy Due This Summer!
    Report Reply
  • mandymackmandymack member
    imagebabypuplove:
    imageTobeMrs.Shavers:

    I read every single one of these types of posts and the majority of people asking this question appear to truly NOT be able to afford to SAH.  If they could afford it, it should be as simple as: evaluate your budget, quit your job, and be a SAHM.  They wouldn't need to come here asking "how do you do it?".  Right?

    If you notice, they are always asking about how/where to cut back spending, can you/do you have just one car, do you bring in any money (the "how can I WAH question"), etc.  And it makes sense that someone would come here and ask this question because, honestly, the majority of couples can't afford for their wives to quit her job, start living off her husband's salary without prior planning and possibly prior saving, AND continue a "comfortable lifestyle" where they can save for retirement, shop as usual, spend money on children's activities, etc.  It's more common that there are some major adjustments and sacrifices to be made in order to make having a SAH parent a reality.  You know what I mean?

    I think this reality is also why we get so many "how can I make money while a SAHM?" questions on this board: because the majority of SAHMs CANNOT afford to just be a SAHM.

    Oh, I completely agree that most people can't just quit on a whim and stay home comfortably.  Those of us who can have probably planned for it, and/or are lucky enough to have a DH with a larger salary. It's just this one question that seems to not make sense to me if you really think about it, but I guess if I were in their shoes and decided last minute I wanted to SAH, I might wonder how others did it, assuming they didn't plan ahead of time either. 

    I totally forgot to add that I totally agree with you... asking that question is not black & white, there isn't ONE answer and there are so many factors not limited just to how much your DH makes nor your COL.  I typically don't even answer the question when asked on this board.  :)

    eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

    Report Reply
  • pumpkinwife07pumpkinwife07 member

    I don't think it's a dumb question at all. Think about it: life is pretty darn expensive. Of course, you don't need "fine" things, but just take a look at the basics: mortgage/rent, car/home/rental insurance, health insurance, groceries, utility bills, clothes, etc.  

    Personally, I still think it's pretty amazing when people can live off one income.  

    Report Reply
  • wifeofaussiewifeofaussie
    imageGeek_Girl:

    I think the people that ask this question aren't willing to give up whatever it is they're spending their 'extra' income on.  If they're blowing through what they BOTH make and don't want to give anything up, then yes, its hard to fathom doing it on one income.  (Taking the income and COL out of the equation.)

    Yes   It amazes people when I tell them how little DH makes.  We budget but aren't deprived.  We drive a newish car (I bought it new when I was single and just paid it off) we have almost no consumer debt left, we have health insurance, food, all of the necessities and a few extras each month.  The things we 'cut' are not priorities for us so we don't miss them.  We wouldn't have them no matter what our income level was and the fact they save us money is just a perk.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"