Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Baby A passed at 22 Weeks

From the moment I saw the positive pregnancy test I feared miscarriage.  I thought "no one can be this lucky" - after being married for 9 years to the most wonderful man in the world we became pregnant almost as soon as we started trying.

At my first doctor's appointment I was sure something was wrong because of how long it took for her to say anything while she looked at the ultrasound.  But no, amazingly there were 2 little sea monkeys bouncing around.  We never expected twins!

We finally shared the news with our families at 10 weeks and at 11 weeks I had a little spotting which sent me into panic mode again.

Our 12 week ultrasound showed two, beautiful little babies... Baby B, was jumping all around and sweet Baby A was curled up.  They both looked perfect.

By 18 weeks I was really showing and once again the babies looked beautiful on the ultrasound.  Baby B, was more active and weighed 8oz.  Baby A, was more calm and weighed 7oz.

At 20 weeks the feeling of worry over losing the babies had started to lift.  We set up our registry, we ordered our cribs - we shared the news with everyone... even strangers.

At 21 weeks the doctor peeked at both babies and we saw their hearts beating away.  8 days later at our growth ultrasound we learned that Baby A had died. 

Since everyone knew, we worked to get the word out quickly and the support has been amazing.  Knowing that so many are thinking of us and praying for us has been a wonderful help.  On the other hand, that part can be difficult too.  I don't have a difficult time talking about what happened but sometimes after I've had to talk about it a few times in one day or break the news to someone else I feel heavy-hearted and I need to cry a little bit. 

The complexity of losing a baby and expecting a baby is challenging.  Baby B kicks and moves all day long.  Knowing that he/she is thriving makes us so happy and is just so exciting.  Still, it's very hard to know that there is another baby in there too... one who is much, much smaller now and being reabsorbed by my body.  Carrying these two babies together brings both complete joy and complete sadness - one feeling doesn't eclipse the other - just like one baby will never take the place of another.

Anyhow, today has just been rather difficult and I thought it might help to share my story. 

Our "Blueberry" is due 7/31/11!

Re: Baby A passed at 22 Weeks

  • I'm sorry for your loss.. It sounds like it would be a rollercoaster of emotions. Sending hugs your way!
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  • I am so sorry.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker~ Diagnosed with PCOS in March 2009. Taking Metfomin for insulin resistance and irregular cycles/ovulation. Had healthy baby girl in Jan 2010 via C-Section (HTN and Breech Presentation).
    ~ Miscarry at 8 weeks with D&C in May 2011 (low progesterone).
    ~ Had a healthy baby girl in June 2012 via C-Section (on prometrium to sustain).
    ~ Surprise pregnancy at age 40!  Baby boy due April 26, 2021 (took prometrium to sustain once pregnancy was confirmed, 3rd C-Section planned).  
  • I am so very sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family nothing but the best as you continue on with your pregnancy. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the emotions you are going through. I'm glad that you seem to have a good support system around you. Feel free to post on this board anytime.
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    Started TTC June 2010
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    BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
    TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
    BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
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  • I am so sorry. I can't even imagine. Hugs!
    Eric and Amanda 9.1.07
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  • Thank you for sharing your story.  I'm sorry for your loss.  I can't even imagine experiencing all of the feelings you are right now.  I'm hoping for a healthy pregnancy for you.  Since my miscarriage, I've been feeling just so amazed thinking about the babies that do make it, they truly are little miracles with everything that they have gone through to get here.  

    BFP#1 EDD 11/8/11 - MC @ 9w6d, 4/15/11 we said goodbye
    BFP#2 DD arrived 5/7/12
  • I'm so sorry and I can't imagine the ride you're on.  I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.  Wishing for nothing but good updates at the rest of your appointments.
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  • I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the complexity of your emotions. Please come in here to vent. you came to the right place. hugs.

    My heart is as open as the sky.
    Read about it on the blog

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    I'm so sorry.  I've been attending a support group for infant loss and one of the girls there had a similar experience, losing one of her twins at 15 weeks.  She just gave birth to the other, a little boy.  She talked about how incredibly emotional it has been mourning the loss of a baby while celebrating the other.  I can't imagine.  Many hugs to you. 

     

     

     

     

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  • I'm very sorry you are having to go through this. I can imagine it would be very difficult having your emotions pulled in both directions (happiness for one, and sadness for the other). I'm glad you have so much support though. You can always post here. I will be thinking about you and I wish you a healthy pregnancy with your other baby. Sounds like he/she is going to be a real active one with all of the jumping and kicking its doing. I hope he/she can bring you joy.
  • Im so sorry for you lost,

     I know its a hard pill to swallow but you have to stay strong and dont stress yourself out for the sake of baby b I will keep you in my prayers,  I would do anything in the world to have even one of my twins back.

    My lil Angel's Aaliyah & Alijah went to Heaven 3-20-11 @21week also had Ectopic 10/2006
  • imageMaura8:

    From the moment I saw the positive pregnancy test I feared miscarriage. 

    I know this feeling. I'm so sorry for your loss.



     

    bfp 1 - m/c 1.31.11 @ 10 weeks

    bfp 2 - baby born via c-section on 5.4.12 @ 37 weeks

    bfp 3 - blighted ovum/d&c on 4.13.13 @ 8 weeks

    bfp 4 - 3rd IUI, very late BFN with super low P, c/p

    bfp 5 - natural bfp while on lupron, baby born via RCS on 4.27.15 @ 39 weeks

    bfp 6 - surprise! baby born via RCS on 11.13.16 @ 38 weeks



  • That does sound complex and confusing. I'm so sorry for your loss and that you are having to go through this. Hugs!
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  • I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what that must feel like for you, to be mourning and celebrant at the same time. I'm sending many hugs your way, and prayers for a safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery for Baby B. ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
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