I want a VBAC, but it'd be so much easier just to schedule.

ShannonSky · April 2011

We have no family in the area and I thought I had a few options lined up, but they're all dropping like flies lately (one couple moving, another due 6 weeks after us, etc). I'm really, really stressing about what we'll do with DD when the time comes. My in-laws will come down as soon as we call them, but it'll take at least 6.5 hours without traffic and has taken as long as 10 hours before.

Can anyone relate? Any suggestions? Or, I would love to hear how "worth it" VBAC is in terms of health, etc.

cchill01 · April 2011

Why don't you set up a plan with a few sitters and friends/coworkers. Have people "on call." People will be MORE than happy to help you. I don't even know you and I would help if I was in the area. They only have to watch her for a few hours. And most likely, you're not going to have a 3 hour labor. You'll probably have enough time to wait for your inlaws before you even go to the hospital.

If you don't have any sitters, you should try SitterCity.com. We found a couple of great girls to watch our DD while we were traveling away from our home.

cchill01 · April 2011

Oh, and just think about how hard it will be to take care of DD #1 while recovering from your c-section.

ShannonSky · April 2011

cchill01:

Oh, and just think about how hard it will be to take care of DD #1 while recovering from your c-section.

Eh, my previous experience actually makes it more tempting, my recovery was super easy - I was off pain meds within hours and back to my regular routine within 4 or 5 days.

And I know you're right, I just have to come up with a list and start calling people when the time comes, I'm sure someone will be available, it just really worries me not to have something concrete set up.

iris427 · April 2011

My mom is supposed to watch our daughter when I go into labor but she just found out she has to be OOT for 3 days next week and 3 days the week after that, just in time for my EDD. To me, this isn't enough reason to have surgery. We have found a friend who said she could watch our daughter while I'm delivering. Do you have any friends or neighbors you could ask? It's frustrating not to know for sure who will be watching her, but we'll figure it out.

ShannonSky · April 2011

iris427:
My mom is supposed to watch our daughter when I go into labor but she just found out she has to be OOT for 3 days next week and 3 days the week after that, just in time for my EDD. To me, this isn't enough reason to have surgery. We have found a friend who said she could watch our daughter while I'm delivering. Do you have any friends or neighbors you could ask? It's frustrating not to know for sure who will be watching her, but we'll figure it out.

I just posted on Facebook and got one bite...hopefully more to come. The whole idea of calling people up in the middle of the night, asking them to take Ellie, Ellie being away from me, etc. freaks me out. Realistically, I know it's just until my in-laws get down here and I know someone will take care of her, it's just really stressing me out.

iris427 · April 2011

ShannonSky:
iris427:
My mom is supposed to watch our daughter when I go into labor but she just found out she has to be OOT for 3 days next week and 3 days the week after that, just in time for my EDD. To me, this isn't enough reason to have surgery. We have found a friend who said she could watch our daughter while I'm delivering. Do you have any friends or neighbors you could ask? It's frustrating not to know for sure who will be watching her, but we'll figure it out.
I just posted on Facebook and got one bite...hopefully more to come. The whole idea of calling people up in the middle of the night, asking them to take Ellie, Ellie being away from me, etc. freaks me out. Realistically, I know it's just until my in-laws get down here and I know someone will take care of her, it's just really stressing me out.

I understand that. I'm not thrilled with the prospect of having to call someone at 3 am either (I'll probably make my husband do it LOL). But I figure if I didn't have a c/s last time, it wouldn't cross my mind to schedule one this time just for that reason.

You have to do what feels right for you. If that's having a RCS, that's what you should do. And if you want to have a VBAC, you'll be able to figure out a solution.

cchill01 · April 2011

ShannonSky:

Eh, my previous experience actually makes it more tempting, my recovery was super easy - I was off pain meds within hours and back to my regular routine within 4 or 5 days.

You were very lucky. I consider myself pretty tough and I really struggled. I couldn't get out of bed without help for two weeks. My incision site was sore for months. I still feel funny tweaks when I do certain exercises or wear certain pants. I'll do anything not to go through that again.

cchill01 · April 2011

I'm telling you both - someone will be honored that you asked them. People love to help - especially when it's for something so important. There are plenty of psychological studies done showing that people actually feel more favorable about you when you ask them to help you and trust them.

MAprincess · April 2011

Even if you have an easy recovery, you will still have restrictions (not able to pick up and carry around your first child). And of course there is the risk that you DON'T have an easy recovery this time around. But I agree with pp's. You are just looking for someone to come over for a few hours until your ILs get there. Just call them as soon as you think something is happening to give them a head start! :-)

*AandT* · April 2011

iris427:
ShannonSky:
iris427:
My mom is supposed to watch our daughter when I go into labor but she just found out she has to be OOT for 3 days next week and 3 days the week after that, just in time for my EDD. To me, this isn't enough reason to have surgery. We have found a friend who said she could watch our daughter while I'm delivering. Do you have any friends or neighbors you could ask? It's frustrating not to know for sure who will be watching her, but we'll figure it out.
I just posted on Facebook and got one bite...hopefully more to come. The whole idea of calling people up in the middle of the night, asking them to take Ellie, Ellie being away from me, etc. freaks me out. Realistically, I know it's just until my in-laws get down here and I know someone will take care of her, it's just really stressing me out.
I understand that. I'm not thrilled with the prospect of having to call someone at 3 am either (I'll probably make my husband do it LOL). But I figure if I didn't have a c/s last time, it wouldn't cross my mind to schedule one this time just for that reason.
You have to do what feels right for you. If that's having a RCS, that's what you should do. And if you want to have a VBAC, you'll be able to figure out a solution.

that is an excellent way to think about it Iris. You will only need someone to watch your daughter for the time it takes your parents to make it down. 6 1/2 hours is not that big of a deal. Also, i agree that the person who offers to help will be really honored. And just remind them, "hey you realize this could happen in the middle of the night, and we want to make sure you are ok with that"

good luck

Ivettec83 · April 2011

I understand what your going through. We just moved to a different state over a year ago and i'll be 3months next week. i REALY wanted to have a natural vaginal birth but because i have no body i can really trust to take care of my son overnight. I'm almost thinking about just doing another c-section. it'll be easier to just have everything planned and my mom plans to come down for 2-3weeks anyway so that'll be really helpful.

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I want a VBAC, but it'd be so much easier just to schedule.

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