Suggestions about wedding

Bblund · April 2011

My baby is due 10/17 and my brother is getting married on 10/22. He's asked us to come out in his wedding which I'm happy about but I'll be newly post pardum and with a newborn. He keeps asking me if I'm sure I want to come out in it and I tell him yes of couse but now he's aksing me to be honest.

Now I'm having second thoughts about being in the wedding party. I'm thinking of just having a dress made the same color as the bridesmaid but not participate in all the wedding activities. Just church and reception. My daughter will be a flower girl.

I'm so confused, don't know what to do. Any suggestions.

StefaniePace · April 2011

I would get a dress similar in color like you said... And I would walk my daughter down the isle. (I am assuming your 1 yr old will be the flower girl) I have been to too many weddings with very young flower girls and it never seems to work out so maybe your part in the wedding can be to walk her down. Also... he needs to be open to that fact that you might not make it. You could go over your due date or get an unexpected c section... you never know.

babes12 · April 2011

If it were me i don't think i'd commit to being part of the wedding party. Just b/c your due date is 10/17 doesn't mean your having the baby on 10/17. Plus what if you have to have a c-section. You'll just be getting out of the hospital and trust me you will not want to be participating in an entire wedding.

JenJune3 · April 2011

I wouldn't say yes to being in the wedding, you could be overdue. With my first I was 4 days overdue, so there is no way to tell if you will still be pregnant, or in the hospital still on 10/22

Janimal · April 2011

There is no way you can commit to being IN the wedding. Honestly, you don't know when the baby will arrive, what kind of delivery you will have, and what your recovery will be like. Not to mention that tiny infants have new moms completely and totally exhausted with hormones all over the place. You have a kid -- don't you remember?!?!?

Also - how can you have a dress made when you don't know what shape your body will be in? If you have the baby a month early, you'll be in better shape, but how about if, like me, your baby is 4 days late? What if you have a tear or C section to recover from.

You just can't make any commitments at this point. If your daughter will be in the wedding then it seems you need to be prepared for your DH to take her to the wedding and you be with the new baby.

StefaniePace · April 2011

I know this is not a realistic suggestion but can he move the date of his wedding? HAHAHAHA Its far enough out that I am sure he has not sent out invite. Just sayin..

waiting4Baby00 · April 2011

I agree with the PP. The last thing you want is your brother and his wife upset that their wedding was missing a bridesmaid and the flower girl. I would not make a commitment to participate in the wedding because you never know how the birth is going to go, whether you will feel up to the wedding, if there will be any complications, etc. They will want their special day to be perfect and stress free and you would want that for them too.

The most important thing after birth is to focus on you and your baby's health. Your brother will understand this. Especially when he meets your little miracle for the first time.

Tigerlilym15 · April 2011

StefaniePace:
I would get a dress similar in color like you said... And I would walk my daughter down the aisle. (I am assuming your 1 yr old will be the flower girl) I have been to too many weddings with very young flower girls and it never seems to work out so maybe your part in the wedding can be to walk her down. Also... he needs to be open to that fact that you might not make it. You could go over your due date or get an unexpected c section... you never know.

I think these are all good suggestions. With the wedding being so close to your due date you really don't know how you will be doing or if your baby will be here yet. I think walking your daughter down the aisle is a nice way to be involved without as much commitment just in case you aren't able to make it.

I would just be honest with your brother and tell him that you really want to be in the wedding but you're just not sure when the baby will come and how you will be feeling at the time of his wedding.

mabma80 · April 2011

If you ask me, that is WAY to close to your due date. What if the baby doesn't decided to come 'til the day OF the wedding? I would tell your brother that you were thinking about it, and it's probably not going to happen. You have to be realistic. Maybe have a relative take your daughter to the wedding since she's the flower girl. That way, it's just you and your DH at the hospital. I see it as a solution to have someone care for you DD while you're having the baby. : )

chillyupnorth · April 2011

Definitely don't commit to being IN the wedding. You could tell them that you will be a different part of the wedding, if you are able to at the time, but that they should make it something where you could be replaced or where there are 2 of you with the same job (maybe a personal attendant or something?). There's no reason your daughter can't still be in it, provided someone is able to get her there if you are in the hospital or at home with the baby.Your commitment is admirable, but you really don't need to be stressed about being a bridesmaid when you're either 40+ weeks along or just a few days postpartum!

zhirsch · April 2011

I wouldn't do it. As others have said, you won't know if you would even be able to and really, you're probably not going to want to. I think it will be an amazing feat to even make it to the wedding as a guest.

Bblund · April 2011

Thank you all. I've decided not to be in the wedding and I feel so much better. Hopelly baby will be on time and we'll be there to enjoy it.

CAM2007 · April 2011

I think you made the right choice. I was in the same situation the week my son was born. I was supposed to be matron of honor in a good friend's wedding. When I found out I was pregnant, I had to change my mind. I didn't go to the wedding either, but my delivery ended up in a c-section, so I wasn't as mobile as I had hoped.

Want a personalized experience?

Suggestions about wedding

Re: Suggestions about wedding

Choose Another Board

Search Boards