Can I get advice about a mat leave situation? (long)

IdigDirt · April 2011

Hi, I lurk here a lot but don't post often but was hoping I could get some advice about my work situation. I know each state is different and has different laws but what would you do if you were in my situation? FWIW I work in NJ and we have 38 employees.

I work for a small company so I do not qualify for FMLA and at work I do a lot of lifting, carrying bales of soil, pushing heavy wheelbarrows, bending, standing for a lot of the day and running around and I work 1.5 hours from the hospital I will (hopefully) be delivering at. Because of this my doctor wants me out at least 2 weeks before my EDD but you can not put a baby in daycare before 6 weeks so therefore I would be out 8 weeks.

My "HR person" (accountant that knows nothing about HR but was put in the position when they fired the last HR person) says they will only hold my job for 6 weeks and even if the doctor has be signed out, if I don't return after the 6 weeks it is job abandonment and I won't qualify for unemployment. My boss says he is fine with me being out 8 weeks and he and the HR person have been telling me for the past almost 5 months that we would all meet together and discuss but neither will set up a meeting despite me asking at least once a month. What would you do in my situation?

Another issue is that they will not tell me if I have to take my vacation time for my leave, they keep saying we will discuss it in the imaginary meeting. I have had a trip booked and paid for for 8 weeks after my EDD since before I was pregnant and I need to know sooner rather than later if I can go (it can not be refunded now). I feel since I have been asking for 5 months now (when I could possibly have gotten a refund) but they would not give me an answer they should let me go. I don't care if it is paid vacation or not I just want to be there for my parents when they renew their vows.

Sorry for the long post/vent, flame me if you must but what would you do in my situation, I know I haven't handled it as well as I should up until now I just was worried about being fired.

IdigDirt · April 2011

laura_belle:
I would demand a meeting by next Friday. And get everything in writing.

My boss is OOT for the next 2 weeks Super Angry When he gets back I will be almost 33 weeks and I am starting to freak out. The day he gets back I will demand to have the meeting that week.

How do I ask for things in writing? Just say "can you write all this down?" I know I need it in writing because they always say something then go back on it or say "I don't remember saying that". Sorry, I know this all makes me sound really immature I just hate confrontation.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · April 2011

I think the whole "you have to come back after 6 weeks else you're abandoning your job" is a bunch of crap... but I'm no lawyer, so I would definitely try and find out what the law says about that. I mean, if you were injured and in the hospital for 3 months, I doubt they would use that excuse.

So yes, definitely find out what the law has to say about that. Then I would REALLY bug your boss and the HR person for that meeting. I would ask them each at least once or twice a week. Maybe they just don't realize that your due date is fast approaching? Maybe you could even take the initiative and give them a time and date? If anything, that would show them that you are serious about this.

Good luck!

duchess0727 · April 2011

I would keep pushing the HR person to have a meeting. Ask your boss his availability and then go to the HR person and say can meet at 3 pm on Friday or whatever time your boss is available or ask your boss to go with you today and go confront the HR person and ask for 10 minutes of their time. Then I would push to get them to protect your job during the time that you are disabled (which can be 2 weeks before and up to 8 weeks after, depending on your delivery and the doctor's orders). It's in their best interests because you sue them for discriminating against a disabled person, although they may not legally be required to hold your job. I would also insist on a decision on your PTO. If you are going on NJ state disability there is a 5 day waiting period for benefits so many companies will make you take PTO for that time. I would suggest asking about that and then if you are getting paid by NJ the rest of the time you are out, they shouldn't have an issue with you not using PTO. Good luck!

madladybride · April 2011

I'd say I would like to get this all in writing so everyone is clear about expectations and what is happening with my maternity leave.

Sam78 · April 2011

PPs have some great advice, just wanted to add that you should start making your requests for a meeting in writing as well (and keep a copy) - that way should you need to pursue legal options, you have evidence that you did everything you could.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · April 2011

Oh and as for getting everything in writing, I would simply ask for it (heck you could even tell them you need it for your insurance or whatever). Also, there is nothing keeping you from writing that document yourself, and then having them sign it - saves them from having to do it and that way you know exactly what is in there (plus you don't have to go back and forth because they forgot to put something in, worded it wrong, etc.)

IdigDirt · April 2011

Thanks so much for the advice! Now hopefully we can get this all resolved when he gets back. If not a coworker suggested going to the NJ labor board.

financialdiva · April 2011

As far as getting everythign in writing- you could send an email after the meeting saying- "I just wanted to confirm everything we discussed."

DallasHorn · April 2011

After your meeting, I would write up what was discussed in an email, send it with specific request to respond to your message confirm that they walked away with the same understanding/expectation or note any changes.

KarBear · April 2011

Ditto the pp about scheduling the meeting. Also, you might want to think about the time off before your EDD. I realize you are far from the hospital, but typically labor is LONG, and if this is your first, you may even go late (I had to be induced 2 weeks after my EDD). So, what would your options be if you were a week or 2 late? Is that going to cut into your maternity leave?

IdigDirt · April 2011

KarBear:
Ditto the pp about scheduling the meeting. Also, you might want to think about the time off before your EDD. I realize you are far from the hospital, but typically labor is LONG, and if this is your first, you may even go late (I had to be induced 2 weeks after my EDD). So, what would your options be if you were a week or 2 late? Is that going to cut into your maternity leave?

I have been trying to find this out as well but no luck. I am guessing that it would since they don't even want to give me the 8 weeks. I don't know what I would do, it is getting really hard for me to do work now at 30 weeks I can't imagine how hard it will be at 40. Daycare won't accept kids under 6 weeks and I have no family in the area that could help me so I really don't know what I would do if I go late.

shoeboxx · April 2011

I don't know what type of email system you have a work, but in Outlook, you can go in and request a meeting with a number of people.

Go in, hit 'meeting request' add the HR person and your manager. The system will tell you if they are available or not. If one or the other is not available at the time you request, they can request another time. This will force their hand to schedule this meeting with you.

Good luck!

celiabwatson · April 2011

I agree with all the PP advice. So definitely start with that, BUT....

In the event that they don't allow you to go the 6 weeks after and/or your birth is late you could potentially hire a babysitter for the first few weeks that you're back at work. It would suck and I don't recommend it but it's better than losing your job. You could also potentially invite your parents or in-laws to come stay for a week during that time. When I went back to work I only had to go back for 6 weeks before summer break so we invited friends and family (none of whom live around here) to come stay with us for those weeks and got it all covered.

snansley · April 2011

DallasHorn:
After your meeting, I would write up what was discussed in an email, send it with specific request to respond to your message confirm that they walked away with the same understanding/expectation or note any changes.

Yes

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