CNN Article: Parents don't dress your girls like tramps.

supermom83 · April 2011

https://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/04/19/granderson.children.dress/index.html?hpt=T2

It's been floating around on my FB feed and thought I'd share. Thoughts?

kas80 · April 2011

I am already dreading this and my daughter is still cooking. I especially hate how popular sweatpants with words across the butt seem to be for the under 12 set- why do people want anyone looking at their young daughter's butt? Some of the other stuff they sell in the popular teenage stores I wouldn't have ever worn myself... in college... on spring break.

I am quite sure I will be very hated during the pre teen and teenage years but girls should be dressed their age. Growing up too fast never helped anyone. Even barring the age thing, there are some ways girls don't need to ever dress, IMO anyway.

cfisher2008 · April 2011

Yup, DH and I are HORRIFIED by some of the clothes we see today on young girls. And if we have a son, he won't be sagging his pants either.

ashleah83 · April 2011

How about a CNN Article: Parents teach your boys to respect women?

I don't think teenage girls would necessarily want to dress like tramps, if teenage boys weren't so disrespectful. I worry just as much about how to raise any sons I may have to respect women, as I worry about teaching my daughter(s) to respect themselves.

celiabeth · April 2011

I'm just scared that my daughter will go through puberty younger than I was and I was 11. I'm more worried about her looking more adult at a young age because girls go through puberty younger and younger these days. Skimpy clothes don't help anything.

kimbo1216 · April 2011

I agree with the writer. It makes me sad when I see young girls dressed like the one he saw. It's even sadder when the mom matches. Then I feel like I have no hope for that poor girl who doesn't know any different.

I can only pray that I do a good job of teaching my little girl to respect herself and dress accordingly. I've always been naturally conservative with my dress (as was my sister). So, hopefully, my little girl will have those natural instincts too.

supermom83 · April 2011

ashleah83:
How about a CNN Article: Parents teach your boys to respect women?
I don't think teenage girls would necessarily want to dress like tramps, if teenage boys weren't so disrespectful. I worry just as much about how to raise any sons I may have to respect women, as I worry about teaching my daughter(s) to respect themselves.

Agreed. I think one of my most important role as a mother to my sons is going to be teaching them to respect women and of course respect themselves.

ChristinaMT4 · April 2011

supermom83:
ashleah83:
How about a CNN Article: Parents teach your boys to respect women?
I don't think teenage girls would necessarily want to dress like tramps, if teenage boys weren't so disrespectful. I worry just as much about how to raise any sons I may have to respect women, as I worry about teaching my daughter(s) to respect themselves.
Agreed. I think one of my most important role as a mother to my sons is going to be teaching them to respect women and of course respect themselves.

Ditto! I have conversations with my boys all the time about respecting women. I'm a huge feminist though, as is my husband, and we hope that our boys will be as well. It is one of the most important things that I hope to instill in them. So far I think we're on the right path with it.

bookkitten · April 2011

I posted this on my FB this morning. I agree that young girls would not be dressing this way if adults were not purchasing age-inappropriate clothes for them. While I agree 1000% with the PP that we need to teach our sons important lessons on how to treat females with respect, that doesn't absolve parents of their responsibility to be the adults and to say NO when their child wants to dress in a provocative manner. Peggy Orenstein just published a fascinating book about how girls are marketed to and the hyper-sexuality found in some aspects of our culture: Cinderella Ate my Daughter: Dispatches from the Frontlines of the New Girlie- Girl Culture. I highly recommend this book!

luvbeingmom · April 2011

ashleah83:
How about a CNN Article: Parents teach your boys to respect women?
I don't think teenage girls would necessarily want to dress like tramps, if teenage boys weren't so disrespectful. I worry just as much about how to raise any sons I may have to respect women, as I worry about teaching my daughter(s) to respect themselves.

i don't think that's always the case... having had 2 sons previously, one obviously who's not even close to looking at girls since he's 5. but my oldest son was 10 and getting to that girl phase before he passed away.

from what i saw from observing him was that girls who dressed that way confused him. he thought some of them looked tacky and would even say "why is she wearing that?". as a mom of a boy, it's actually very hard to explain why these girls are wearing that... other than they want attention from boys.

i personally won't allow my daughter to dress in certain clothes, not because of the boys her age... but because of the older boys or pervy men.

CarlaAndJames · April 2011

I agree. Kids that age don't have their money, they don't shop for themselves, an adult has to be buying it for them to have it.

We're already getting some practice by not buying all the baby stuff that says "Brat", "Diva", etc. It all sends the same, negative message. I'd like my daughter to play in the mud and climb a few trees before she has to start worrying about whether she's sexy, thankyouverymuch.

lynn97 · April 2011

I wholeheartedly agree with the article. I just hope that this "slutty" trend is gone and that styles will be more conservative by the time I have any daughters of age to wear the clothes. I feel like this issue is bigger than just clothes, though. I feel like our entire society is over-sexualized. It's really sad to me that EVERYTHING has to be about sex. Sure, sex is a big part of human nature but it really doesn't have to dominate everything in our culture. The fact that it does makes me sad for my future child; there is hardly any innocence anymore.

cookierlr1 · April 2011

First, thank you for sharing this article, I posted it to my facebook page, can't wait to see the response : )

I'm incredibly thankful to be having a boy. I was honestly terrified of having a girl for this reason. With a boy I am comforted by the fact that he has my husband as a good role model, he's one of the few "good ol' Southern boys" left in this world, he has charm and manners, and knows how to properly treat a woman.

As a remark to PP this trend will stop if parents stop buying into it. Kids rarely make their own money (not enough to buy something from abercrombie anyway) so its clearly the parents who are encouraging this behavior. Maybe enough people are disgusted by it now that they will stop buying it, at least I hope so anyway.

Turtle143 · April 2011

Ya. I really wonder about the parents who allow their children to dress inappropriately. There are better ways to let them "express" themselves.

folkfemme · April 2011

supermom83:
ashleah83:
How about a CNN Article: Parents teach your boys to respect women?
I don't think teenage girls would necessarily want to dress like tramps, if teenage boys weren't so disrespectful. I worry just as much about how to raise any sons I may have to respect women, as I worry about teaching my daughter(s) to respect themselves.
Agreed. I think one of my most important role as a mother to my sons is going to be teaching them to respect women and of course respect themselves.

I feel this too.

Pookie's_Girl · April 2011

Yes . I totally agree with the writer of that article. I have always been a firm believer that, if more parents got off their a**es and did their jobs as parents, we wouldn't have nearly the amount of problems in society as we do now. And, this whore trend really bothers me. I mean, honestly, what parent in their right mind would look at a child dressed like that, and think it perfectly fine for them to go out in public!? The problem nowadays is that hardly any parent actually bothers to teach their children about respect, for themselves and for others. (And that is not directed at anyone here on the bump, because you all seem like lovely parents to me. Smile You ladies give me hope that maybe this generation won't turn out so bad.) I end this rant with one of my favorite lines from South Park, "Being a filthy whore is supposed to be a BAD THING, remember!?"

I read a book a couple of years ago called Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture by Ariel Levy. In it, she explores how women perceive themselves in our hyper-sexualized culture. And, how vastly these so called "modern feminists" differ from the original feminists of our grandparents age. She tries to figure out how the generations of women changed so much and how we can get back to valuing women our minds instead of our bodies. It's a pretty good read.

bookkitten · April 2011

Pookie's_Girl:

I read a book a couple of years ago called Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture by Ariel Levy. In it, she explores how women perceive themselves in our hyper-sexualized culture. And, how vastly these so called "modern feminists" differ from the original feminists of our grandparents age. She tries to figure out how the generations of women changed so much and how we can get back to valuing women our minds instead of our bodies. It's a pretty good read.

I own that book and whole-heartedly second your recommendation. It's a well-written and thought-provoking book.

On their facebook page, Pigtail Pals: Redefining Girly posted this today, apparently in response to some of the comments being made about the CNN article:

Please repeat after me: A prostitute is a woman who trades sex for money. Whores, sluts, skanks, and tramps are judgements, not people. It is important to recognize that our sexily dressed little girls are not whores, they most likely have no sexual history at all. They are little girls being allowed to wear sexualized clothing by the parents who should be looking out for them.

It was an important reminder (to me) that, as grown women, we need to be careful about the language we use when we discuss these issues. Are some parents allowing their girls to dress in ways that may inspire the use of such perjorative terms? Yes. But that doesn't mean the little girls *are* those things.

I agree with you that the women here have given me a lot of hope that this generation of parents will start to put the brakes on the oversexualization of children - particularly girl children though, I confess, all the boy clothes that call the baby a "heartbreaker" or "chick magnet" or "Mommy's main man" grate on me, too - and will allow their kids to be kids.

We hope to raise our son to have much respect for women and, if we are lucky enough to have a little girl in the next few years, you can bet we'll be shunning all the "princess" and "diva" clothes in favor of more childlike and neutral fare!

JaqiDec04 · April 2011

CarlaAndJames:
I agree. Kids that age don't have their money, they don't shop for themselves, an adult has to be buying it for them to have it.
We're already getting some practice by not buying all the baby stuff that says "Brat", "Diva", etc. It all sends the same, negative message. I'd like my daughter to play in the mud and climb a few trees before she has to start worrying about whether she's sexy, thankyouverymuch.

All of this. I don't like clothes that say Diva, Brat, Princess, etc. Girls have attitude enough without reinforcing the attitude with saying on the clothes. I hate attitude clothes.

bookkitten · April 2011

Interesting response to yesterday's article about allowing young girls to dress provocatively from Pigtail Pals. A though-provoking reminder to consider the language we choose to use when discussing such topics - and that because a child may be dressed in a way that is inappropriately sexualized does NOT mean the child is a sexual being, nor should she be treated as such.

https://blog.pigtailpals.com/2011/04/did-you-just-call-my-daughter-a-prostitute/

ChristinaMT4 · April 2011

bookkitten:
Interesting response to yesterday's article about allowing young girls to dress provocatively from Pigtail Pals. A though-provoking reminder to consider the language we choose to use when discussing such topics - and that because a child may be dressed in a way that is inappropriately sexualized does NOT mean the child is a sexual being, nor should she be treated as such.

https://blog.pigtailpals.com/2011/04/did-you-just-call-my-daughter-a-prostitute/

Yes Thank you for posting that, I absolutely agree with the whole blog post.

CNN Article: Parents don't dress your girls like tramps.

Re: CNN Article: Parents don't dress your girls like tramps.

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