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BFN vent

MnMShawMnMShaw member
in Austin Babies

Can I just vent for a second?  DH and I have only been TTC for 3 months.  I'm not charting, I'm just off birth control, and for one of these months, DH was sick for almost the whole month so there was no sexy sexy time anyways.  I also know that women go many, many months to years trying before getting pregnant so please no flames for my 3 measly months.  Knowing all that, why am I so sad??  I just took a pregnancy test, I'm only one day late, but I've always been really regular before birth control, on birth control, and the past 2 months I was regular too.  So, because AF didn't come yesterday I pumped myself up that this would be the month! And my mom is coming to town this weekend and I was just so excited I might get to tell her she was going to be a grandma (we always planned to tell family no matter how early). So now I'm crying and I can't even make myself stop.  Pitiful, right?!  Thanks for listening to my petty vent.  No one really knows we are trying so I couldn't tell any of my friends/family.

/vent over.

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TTC #1 since February 2011
BFP #1 1/14/12 EDD 9/24/12 m/c at 8w4d on 2/20/12
March 2012- Dx with PCOS, started metformin
July 2012- SA completely normal
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Re: BFN vent

  • brideonjuly8brideonjuly8 member

    BFNs are never easy to take, no matter how long you've been trying.  (((hugs))) I hope you don't have to wait too much longer for a positive test.

    FWIW- coming off bc your cycles can be wacky for a while, but it's no need to worry.  To make it easier you can just monitor your cervical mucous and when it's wet and slippery, you know you're approaching your fertile window.  Just keep having lots of sex, and definitely keep it fun.  :)

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  • rssnlvrrssnlvr
    I'm sorry. It's always hard when you get yourself really "up" on the possibility that this is your month, only to see a negative test. Even though you were regular your first two months off bc pills, sometimes it still takes a little while for your body to really regulate. There's ALWAYS the possibility that you just o'd later than usual this month. Hang in there. TTC is a wildly emotional process!
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  • angelaggieangelaggie member
    imageMnMShaw:

    Can I just vent for a second?  DH and I have only been TTC for 3 months.  I'm not charting, I'm just off birth control, and for one of these months, DH was sick for almost the whole month so there was no sexy sexy time anyways.  I also know that women go many, many months to years trying before getting pregnant so please no flames for my 3 measly months.  Knowing all that, why am I so sad??  I just took a pregnancy test, I'm only one day late, but I've always been really regular before birth control, on birth control, and the past 2 months I was regular too.  So, because AF didn't come yesterday I pumped myself up that this would be the month! And my mom is coming to town this weekend and I was just so excited I might get to tell her she was going to be a grandma (we always planned to tell family no matter how early). So now I'm crying and I can't even make myself stop.  Pitiful, right?!  Thanks for listening to my petty vent.  No one really knows we are trying so I couldn't tell any of my friends/family.

    /vent over.

    (hugs) I don't think you're pitiful. When you want a baby, you want one now!
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  • SaraLouiseBride08SaraLouiseBride08
    Oooh I'm so sorry. You can't help how you feel, and I know lots of women before you have felt the same way. Lots of thoughts and prayers coming for feel better days, and a BFP soon!
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  • L L CGL L CG
    Oh, it is so hard.  On top of being disappointed about the BFN, you know that you'll have to wait 4 more weeks to know whether or not you'll strike it big in the next cycle.  And, the feeling that you have little control over the situation is really hard to come to terms to as well.  Chin up, though.  It'll happen, and I hope it happens soon for you!
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  • 2H2L2H2L member
    imageSaraLouiseBride08:
    Oooh I'm so sorry. You can't help how you feel, and I know lots of women before you have felt the same way. Lots of thoughts and prayers coming for feel better days, and a BFP soon!
    GL
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  • NJinAustinNJinAustin member
    Def not alone. It's like losing the lottery that you bought a ticket for weeks ago... month after month. I say start charting... at least make a note in your datebook so you can reflect on what you're doing. And ... just have lots of sexy time so that it's not so much pressure when it's THE time to do it... that helped us.
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  • mcgeemcgee member

    ((hugs)) I get it. I really do. I was irrationally upset about not getting pregnant right away when we ttc the second time. Plus I think being off BCP makes your hormones all kinds of messed up until your body adjusts, so I found that all of my PMS symptoms were much worse, especially the weepy emotional part. Sad

    I hope your BFP comes soon. 

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  • Jess.OJess.O
    I'm sorry.  ((hugs))  If it makes you feel any better, the times that I've been late (when we weren't TTC) and I took a test that came out negative, I was very sad.  I don't know how I'd feel if we were actively trying.  I can only imagine that I'd feel exactly the same way that you are.  I know that doesn't help but just know that you aren't alone.  Of course, there's always the possibility that it was a false BFN (not to get hopes up or anything but there is that chance.)
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  • brooke152brooke152

    Ditto what everyone else said.  It's not pitiful, no matter how long you've been trying it is always disappointing to see AF or a BFN.  I highly suggest charting.  I didn't temp b/c it wasn't practical for me but I did chart everything else and used OPKs.  My period after BC was always like clockwork, the problem was I only ovulated every 2 or 3 months.  I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't charted/used OPKs.  When I went in for testing, I was armed with lots of good info for my doctor.

    I know it is so, so hard, try to keep your chin up.  GL, I hope you don't have to wait much longer.   

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  • balihaigirlbalihaigirl member

    Hang in there.  I know it's frustrating.  TTC is a lot of work.  Wink  I hope you get a BFP soon.  Also, as the pp suggested, it might be a good idea to start charting if you haven't yet done so.  I have found that it makes me a little less crazy when I kind of know what's going on with my cycle, even if I can't control the outcome. 

    GL!

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  • ndluvsrkndluvsrk

    Not to get your hopes up, but I don't think most hpts would be able to detect a pg after only 1 day of being late. So, this could still be your month. You never know.

    If not, I agree with pp. It's disappointing any time you get a BFN when you're ttc. You spend years trying to avoid a BFP and then when you really really want one, it can be devastating to see the negative result.

    Either way, good luck!

     

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  • AustinBride06AustinBride06

    I'm sorry, hon.  I'm only on cycle 2 myself post m/c and I can already feel the enormous pressure we're putting on ourselves, even though we say that we know it could take a while and that we're okay with waiting it out.  It's totally normal to be emotional through this whole process... and it's not always going to be rational!

    I would also recommend charting like the pp said.  If only because if it does end up taking longer than you hoped/expected then you'll have a great archive of information to take to your doctor to see what your next steps should be.  And even the most regular person EVER will have an off cycle here and there.  Ovulation could be delayed for a number of reasons.  You might already have signed up for FF but if you click on my ticker below you can start charting there.  It looks intimidating, but once you understand the main concepts it's pretty easy and (IMO) really interesting!

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  • MnMShawMnMShaw member
    I didn't mean to post and run yesterday, I just went to bed.  I just wanted to say thank you all for all of your kind words.  I bought Taking charge of your fertility, just haven't read it, and am going to start charting.  At least then I can say I am paying attention to what is going on.  Again, thank you all so very much.
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    TTC #1 since February 2011
    BFP #1 1/14/12 EDD 9/24/12 m/c at 8w4d on 2/20/12
    March 2012- Dx with PCOS, started metformin
    July 2012- SA completely normal
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  • userdeleteduserdeleted member
    We aren't even trying and when I was a week late I started getting excited. Three negative pregnancy tests and an extremely late period later, I was kind of bummed. I think anytime you get worked up about something and then it doesn't happen it can be upsetting. Hope it happens for you soon! :)
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