Moms of toddlers, I have dumb questions

hav2run · April 2011

1. When redirection and ignoring bad behavior/tantrums fail, what works to diffuse loud and quite annoying toddler meltdowns?

2. Do they growth spurt just before they turn three? DD who formerly ate like a bird now wants to eat everything we will give her and ask for more. She wakes in the middle of the night, then goes right back down. But she is so sleepy before nap or bedtime. Growth spurt possibly? I only ask because I am buying her summer clothes, and want to know if I should buy some things in the next size up before they move in fall stuff in June? (screwy IMO, but I will never beat them at their stupid sales games)

3. We are officially in the middle of potty training, no matter how I feel about that. So, something I haven't given much thought to: What do you do when DC needs to go potty while out and about? Do you sit them on a public potty? I am queasy at the thought. And I am no germaphobe. Should I buy potty seat covers that I can throw away? What do you do?

4. How do you protect your carseat from pee? DD is wearing panties at school, and only one accident, so far. But when we need to stop somewhere on the way home, I get worried she might pee in her carseat. Is there an easy solution for this, aside from putting on a pull up?

5. What do you do when you are traveling for a long distance while potty training? Pull ups? Or pray? We have a long trip in early June. Some of the areas we travel through are sparse with exits or rest areas. I am not sure how to handle that with a child who is being taught that we don't pee in our pants. WDYT? Easy solution?

Thank you for reading this far. One would think I have never parented a toddler, right? It has been so long that I can't remember practical stuff. We are embarking on the terrific threes as I type. She is quite the fireball. I need advice. Happy to look at good reads for parenting this age. Suggest what you know, please!

kel716 · April 2011

For tantrums where ignoring doesn't work, we do one of 2 things... sit him in the time out chair and set the timer or put him in his room if it's really bad. Whether right or wrong, it works for us.

No help on the PTing questions but I am interested in hearing answers. I do think I know a few moms who have put the potty chair in the car for long car rides though.

hannah&ben · April 2011

hav2run:
1. When redirection and ignoring bad behavior/tantrums fail, what works to diffuse loud and quite annoying toddler meltdowns? Whisper. It confuses the heck out of my kids and they can't help but pipe down to figure out what I'm saying.
2. Do they growth spurt just before they turn three? DD who formerly ate like a bird now wants to eat everything we will give her and ask for more. She wakes in the middle of the night, then goes right back down. But she is so sleepy before nap or bedtime. Growth spurt possibly? I only ask because I am buying her summer clothes, and want to know if I should buy some things in the next size up before they move in fall stuff in June? (screwy IMO, but I will never beat them at their stupid sales games) Both of my big kids had spurts around 3 (in height, they didn't gain any weight really though.. it's when they really stopped looking like toddlers and looking like big kids
3. We are officially in the middle of potty training, no matter how I feel about that. So, something I haven't given much thought to: What do you do when DC needs to go potty while out and about? Do you sit them on a public potty? I am queasy at the thought. And I am no germaphobe. Should I buy potty seat covers that I can throw away? What do you do? I always tried to avoid it (short trips, potty at home first, etc) but of course it happens. I carried a tub of anti-bac wipes for the toilet seat and everyone's hands. It only happened a few times though.. my kids seemed to hold it while we were out...
4. How do you protect your carseat from pee? DD is wearing panties at school, and only one accident, so far. But when we need to stop somewhere on the way home, I get worried she might pee in her carseat. Is there an easy solution for this, aside from putting on a pull up? Hmm... I never really thought of that potential problem... This maybe? https://www.amazon.com/Sunshine-Kids-Dry-Seat-Grey/dp/B000R9YXWA .
5. What do you do when you are traveling for a long distance while potty training? Pull ups? Or pray? We have a long trip in early June. Some of the areas we travel through are sparse with exits or rest areas. I am not sure how to handle that with a child who is being taught that we don't pee in our pants. WDYT? Easy solution? Take a little ikea potty chair and stop frequently, doesn't matter where. Dump and wipe out with clorox wipes
Thank you for reading this far. One would think I have never parented a toddler, right? It has been so long that I can't remember practical stuff. We are embarking on the terrific threes as I type. She is quite the fireball. I need advice. Happy to look at good reads for parenting this age. Suggest what you know, please!

There were only 7 and a half years between Sophi and Jack and I felt like a total newb going through it all again.. You forget so much and so much changes! Don't worry about it!!

teacherjess · April 2011

1. When she is having or about to have an all-out tantrum in public where it would disturb others (like a restaurant), I absolutely resort to bribery. At home, though, I just ignore her if redirection doesn't work. She'll sometimes lay on the floor kicking and screaming for ten minutes and DH and I will just act like normal. It's happened enough that she really has stopped doing it because she sees that we won't give in.

2. Leah seems to be going through a growth spurt, too. I hate giving her snacks because then she eats less at dinnertime, but I've been indulging her on healthy snacks, like fruit and string cheese. She seems genuinely hungry and has gone up a clothing size.

3. For public potties, I also flipped out about the germs, but with her, it's a "when you gotta go, you gotta go" situation, and we've used the public bathrooms in pretty much every store and restaurant we frequent. When she goes, she likes to hold on to the seat, which makes me want to vomit, but I just scrub the heck out of her hands before we leave the restroom.

4. No advice on pee in the carseat. We always ask Leah to go before we leave, and if we are at a store and she hasn't gone for awhile, I'll ask her if she has to go before we leave to drive home. She's never gone in the carseat, but I wonder if one of those piddle pads that you can get for infant carseats might give you peace of mind?

5. No advice on traveling, either, because we've made no long trips recently. Whenever DD has Pull-Ups, like at nighttime if our cloth dipes are in the wash, she treats them like diapers and pees in them. I am not wanting to stop every two hours, though. I just don't know. I may pack a travel potty seat so we can stop and she can go in the car if it's an emergency.

kel716 · April 2011

hannah&ben:
hav2run:

1. When redirection and ignoring bad behavior/tantrums fail, what works to diffuse loud and quite annoying toddler meltdowns? Whisper. It confuses the heck out of my kids and they can't help but pipe down to figure out what I'm saying.

This is brilliant. Thank you for the idea.... I use it on my kids at school from time to time but I didn't think about it as a parent.

hav2run · April 2011

kel716:
hannah&ben:
hav2run:

1. When redirection and ignoring bad behavior/tantrums fail, what works to diffuse loud and quite annoying toddler meltdowns? Whisper. It confuses the heck out of my kids and they can't help but pipe down to figure out what I'm saying.

This is brilliant. Thank you for the idea.... I use it on my kids at school from time to time but I didn't think about it as a parent.

Yes, I think so too. I did try whispering at DD. She screamed louder "What are you talking about mommy? I can't get it." I am in so much trouble when she is 13. I hope you all will be around to help me when that happens. Indifferent

Moesten · April 2011

hav2run:
1. When redirection and ignoring bad behavior/tantrums fail, what works to diffuse loud and quite annoying toddler meltdowns? If we are headed to a place where things might go badly (Kroger, Dept. store, etc) I make sure to set the expectations before hand. She gets a brief reminder of the rules immediately before entering. If ignoring doesn't work, I get on her eye level and remind her of rules and expectations. If behavior continues she loses something she digs (like her Kroger cart) or sits in the corner. She also has to apologize to anyone she has wronged. I try my hardest to prevent tantrums since they are so hard to come back from. Once you're in full-blown tantrum I find it's too late to do much other than containment. So far we are fairly successful with these methods.
2. Do they growth spurt just before they turn three? DD who formerly ate like a bird now wants to eat everything we will give her and ask for more. She wakes in the middle of the night, then goes right back down. But she is so sleepy before nap or bedtime. Growth spurt possibly? I only ask because I am buying her summer clothes, and want to know if I should buy some things in the next size up before they move in fall stuff in June? (screwy IMO, but I will never beat them at their stupid sales games) No idea on this one.
3. We are officially in the middle of potty training, no matter how I feel about that. So, something I haven't given much thought to: What do you do when DC needs to go potty while out and about? Do you sit them on a public potty? I am queasy at the thought. And I am no germaphobe. Should I buy potty seat covers that I can throw away? What do you do? For the first couple weeks I brought the potty seat insert with us everywhere. But now I just put her on the potty and she hangs on with her hands. This is what she wants to do. Gross, I know but I carry Clorox Wipes for the toilet, and Wet Ones Antibacterial and Purell for her hands.
4. How do you protect your carseat from pee? We don't. She has only had one accident in the car since we started potty training in February and that was very early on. DD is wearing panties at school, and only one accident, so far. Hooray! But when we need to stop somewhere on the way home, I get worried she might pee in her carseat. Is there an easy solution for this, aside from putting on a pull up? Personally, we never used pull ups at all. We went whole hog to panties. This was the advice I had received from all my friends who had PT'ed their kids. That and I figured it was one less transition to have to deal with later. Same thing with using the insert rather than a little potty. I didn't want to later have to transition from the little potty chair to the big potty so we skipped the potty chair altogether and went straight to the potty insert.
5. What do you do when you are traveling for a long distance while potty training? Make frequent stops if needed. Pull ups? No. If you aren't already using pull-ups as part of your potty training I would not introduce them for this type of situation because it sends a mixed message. Or pray? Pretty much but it depends on how soon after starting potty training we are talking. Katherine has been 100% since three weeks in with the exception of three accidents since late February. One was when she was with my mom at my niece's soccer game and there was no potty so that is similar to what you'll be experiencing with a long trip. My mom tried to drive her to a fast food place but there just wasn't enough time. We still keep a change of pants, socks, and undies in the diaper bag in case something like that happens again. And then she had two accidents the day after we got back from Hawaii but we chalked that up to stress and adjustment to us being gone and coming back. But really, after a few weeks she was going maybe every 2 to 3 hours so it's not as if you'll have to stop every hour for her. Our experience was that she could hold it for two hours or so. The rub was that once she told us she had to go potty we only had a few minutes (10 maybe?) to locate a potty. So I would recommend you stop to potty at least every two hours. So you might not have to stop as often as you are anticipating right now. We have a long trip in early June. Some of the areas we travel through are sparse with exits or rest areas. Stop often. That's the only advice I have for that. Or put off potty training until after the trip. OR if you are using a potty chair, bring it with you and keep it in the car so you can pull to the side of the road and use it. That's what my SIL did with her youngest. You do what you have to do, right? I am not sure how to handle that with a child who is being taught that we don't pee in our pants. WDYT? Easy solution? Sadly, no.
Thank you for reading this far. One would think I have never parented a toddler, right? It has been so long that I can't remember practical stuff. We are embarking on the terrific threes as I type. She is quite the fireball. I need advice. Happy to look at good reads for parenting this age. Suggest what you know, please!

identicaltwins2be · April 2011

I don't have much to contribute other than when I lived in Muncie and would drive to Cincinnati to visit my family it never failed that DD would have to go the bathroom. And it is all farm land between here and there with just a couple of small towns in between. I can't tell you how many times I had to pull over on the side of the road so she would go to the bathroom. Holding a toddler so she doesn't pee on you or herself all while trying to keep her behind from touching the ground and trying to shield her from potential passing cars was quite interesting Tongue Tied

cops_wife · April 2011

When I see a tantrum brewing, I use my stern voice. Then we go to a warning about either losing something she wants or heading to time out, and then I follow through. Ellie had a timeout in an airport Saturday. It wasn't pretty, but it worked.

We have a folding potty seat for public. One of my friends recommended it to me. I ordered mine from Kohls.com but I'm pretty sure you could find them just about anywhere.

We postponed potty training until our recent vacation was over, but she's ready now and I'm ready to stop putting it off, and we have some road trips coming up. I plan to take a little potty in the car for urgent stops. Ellie also thinks Pull-Ups are super cool (because they have princesses on them), so we may use them. I am not particularly anti-Pull-Up, though.

mcmann05 · April 2011

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Mommys-Helper-Cushie-Travel-Potty-Seat/10088173

This will help with the germs out in public. I have seen a different kind too at BRU but for some reason I can't find it on their website.

I second taking a small potty chair on long distance drives. I recommended this to a friend for a trip to Florida recently.

buckeyethor · April 2011

1. I get out my iphone and pull up one of her apps she likes. I have put her in a time out in public a couple of times it got out of control.

linzpinz14 · April 2011

I second talking in a whisper voice. I get down on her level and I am firm with her on what I want her to do differently. Then I try to offer up 2 other choices to her of something to do that she enjoys. If she is refusing to do something I want her to do, I again get down on her level and tell her what I want her to do, then I start helping her do it (like clean up the toys, put on her shoes, wash her hands, etc.). We had a BAD couple of months tantrum-wise and I feel like now that she knows she can't get away with it, they are less frequent.

I feel like the key with whatever you do is to be consistent and to never lose. If you tell them to do something, have them do it. I try not to tell C very much of what she HAS to do, because then I don't get into a lot of power struggles. I pick my battles on what she must do and just what I want her to do. (Ex. must do - put on a jacket before we leave the house. want to do- eat a bite of green beans.) I also try to cater my language with her to show these discrepencies ("Mommy would be sooo happy if you took a bite of your green beans and then I will give you more mashed potatoes!" rather than "You have to take a bite of your green beans before you leave the table!")

ANd I love all the PT tips! I have NO idea what I am doing in that next step! Ah!

doodlebug914 · April 2011

We were just talking about the tantrum situation last night so we will try the whispering and see how that does. Ethan's tantrums don't last long but he just goes into meltdown mode and it's hard to try to redirect him.

Carseats... there are piddle pads or the link that Hannah posted looks great! For pottying out and about, we used a Potette Plus seat, I bought at BRU for about $12 or something. It has a full sized seat and two little sides that fold out to set on the toilet and also gives them a "handle" to hold. It also works while in the car if needed, those handles fold down to form legs, and you can place a grocery bag underneath with a few napkins inside to absorb, or they sell bags with a built in absorber from that brand. https://www.amazon.com/Kalencom-2-in-1-Potette-Plus-Blue/dp/B0016L0MMS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1303311761&sr=8-2.

Ethan still wears a cloth diaper for naps/bedtime, and if we're planning a long trip we usually try to incorporate that into naptime and he wears a cloth diaper. He does not go in it while he is awake. If the car ride is not during naptime, or if we are just going to be out and about for awhile, he wears his underwear I just take him to the restroom about every 2 hours. Just pack extra pants and underwear in case of an accident.

Good luck! It was a lot easier than I expected (except for the #2 part, and using m&m's as a treat for doing his "job" is what ended up working for us.)

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