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sapphire angel
member
Easter Card, Dad vs Grandparents?
sapphire angel
member
Ex gave me a sealed Easter card for LO and said "This card is from us." (Grandma was there also with the bunny they gave LO) I opened the card for LO today and took pictures of her pulling the card out. The Easter card most certainly did not come from Ex. It's a grand daughter card and is signed by the grandparents only.
I've been getting the feeling the grandmother is "making" Ex come for visitation and she ends up doing everything for LO. And it's clear to me, that LO is starting to recognize her at each visit while it still takes LO some time to warm up to dad (Males in general don't seem to be an issue as she will walk up to other dads at the doctor's office and ask to be picked up). Also this weekend, they accidentally (I hope) gave LO something with milk in it and she's on a no dairy and no soy diet which is NOT news to them. No big deal but I had to call and track down everything she ate during her time with them to see if something else could have caused an allergy. Ex got fed up with me and refused to answer my questions and grandma ended up calling me about an hour later after finding out what he was in a huff about. That's straightened out now with help from grandma.
What do you think? Should I still send the picture to dad or just send to grandma? At the moment I am thinking of emailing the picture of LO to Grandma with a thank you for helping figure out the allergy reaction she had. Whether or not she shares the picture with anyone but grandpa is her own business, but I may try to get a picture that clearly shows the word grand daughter...
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Re: Easter Card, Dad vs Grandparents?
I would have to say send an email with a pic and thank you note to grandma. If it is what you think it is (most likely) and she is "making" him be involved, let her go out of her way for him.
I send X's parents pics of DS every few weeks with updates. When X texts to ask about DS, I keep it short and sweet. If they want to show him, they will - not that he makes the effort to go the 3 blocks to their house when I send them anyways.
If she really is having to force him to come, I wish I could think of a way to let her know that she doesn't have to bring her surly son to visit if she doesn't want to deal with him. I wouldn't turn her away if she showed up by herself or with grandpa, maybe I could mention something about her still being welcome even if ex has to stay home for work or to study for a test on his assigned weekend...I just can't get the words right to make it sound like a casual offer...
I don't want to outright say it, but they all seem so miserable by the end of the day, except LO who is squealing and running for me with the biggest grin on her face, so sadly I don't think ex wants to be as involved as he insists he does...and it would be no loss on LO's part if he decides to duck out permanently...