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Having a hard time

AmandaJordan1985AmandaJordan1985 member
in Single Parents

This all might sound petty but I need to get it all out there.

Despite working out, eating right and basically doing everything in my power, I CANNOT get rid of the fat on my upper arms. Yep, day after day there it is. I haven't worn a tank top in, well, years. I am quite happy with the rest of my body but this I can't get past. I'll never win with it.

I'm really tired of hearing "as soon as you stop looking, someone will come in to your life". I haven't been looking and honestly am starting to think it will never happen. I know I shouldn't be so negative but sometimes I get so lonely I break down in to tears. I have more good days than bad but the bad ones are terrible. Despite being with X for 1.5 years then seeing each other for another year after "breaking up", I feel I haven't been in a real relationship for so long and just really miss the feeling of being a part of a "we". It took a very long time to get over X and now, while i'm enjoying being single, it's hard from time to time.

I think I may have made a rash decision to move. Back in January I came to visit my parents for a month and decided just to stay. Recently I was back in the city I moved from for a week and missed it, my old friends and sister so much. There are pros and cons to each place and my heart is now in both of them.

I am so grateful that I have a year maternity leave. It's nice to know that I will be able to witness a lot of DS's major milestones. Some days though, I just want a break. I don't know how SAHM's do it until their kids go to school.

I'm exhausted from all of this going on in my head.

 

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Re: Having a hard time

  • LJF1218LJF1218

    I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now.  It seems like you might be at a crossroads and wanting to make some changes, which is probably normal since you've been home with DS for awhile now and have things all settled with X.  So what do you do next is a logical question.

    I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but wish you luck in working on finding some direction (or someone) who makes you happier.  You deserve to be happy after all the back and forth with X!

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  • achase123achase123

    I'm so sorry.  Deep breathes.

    We all have these days.  I don't care who we are, we all have bad days.  I know that I have times where I am so lonely that I could cry.  I usually get like that at night.  I remembered BGG saying that when she felt like that she would go to bed.  I was lonely Friday night so I just went to bed and things looked brighter in the am.

    Also, try to do something nice for yourself every day.  It doesn't have to be big, just a little something...take a jog, get the endorphins going, or take DD to the park, or soak in a tub with bubbles.

    I also blog when I'm upset but you can journal.  Call a friend. 

    If you want some healthy eating/exercise tips let me know.  I'd be more than happy to help you or make a meal plan or just give guidance. 

    Hang in there.  We all have these days.  And when I focus too much on finding someone I try to keep really busy.  The busier I am, the less I dwell on things. 

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  • AmandaJordan1985AmandaJordan1985 member

    Thanks ladies. I know everything will work out it just doesn't seem that way sometimes. I'm doing my best to relax and it's nice to know there are people out there to relate to Smile.

     

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  • Temp552270562505132Temp552270562505132

    Yeah, it's really hard sometimes.  I can totally relate.  Everyone needs a break sometimes.  

     

    And I know what you mean with the loneliness... I felt that way for a bit after ex was out.  But then I realized that sometimes it's good to be a lone ranger (heh)... and I started reading awesome books, running, and I even learned how to play chess.  (I'm horrible)... BUT- I'd say - take up a hobby, something totally new that you haven't done before.  It helps take your mind off things.  I'm totally serious.  

     

    Build the garden inside of yourself- grow your own flowers.  And then, you'll be ready for anything.  

     

    OH and the arm thing- do a million push ups- military style.  It will make your arms burn and feel like they're going to fall off, but it works.  :)  

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