Do you eat dinner as a family?

Danafaith · April 2011

When we went to my DD year well check, the pedi gave us a hard time about not eating together as a family. We do on the weekends. Durring the week, however, my H gets off around 7:30-8pm. So I was trying to have dinner ready at 7:30 so right when my H would get home we would all eat together. My DD though is so tired and hungry at this point that dinner is always hard. She cry and fusses and doesn't really eat and my H and i are usually just shovling food in our mouth as fast as we can. Its just not working.

Do you eat together as a family? Or do you let your LO eat by them self? Or do you eat with your LO and your SO eats by them self?

TIA!

David'sgirl · April 2011

We eat together as a family most nights. My husband (when he was working) and I only have a 20 minute commute on the ferry so we are typically home by 530 at the latest. On Monday nights or when either of us works late we eat with LO.

I do however, work non-typical hours so sometimes I am home by 4:45-5:00

MrsWindyCity · April 2011

It really depends. I try my best to eat as a family, but sometimes it's not possible for me to make/eat dinner before DS goes to sleep. We always do on weekends and on Wednesdays (I work from home on Wed so I have more time since I don't commute).

If DS is eating by himself, we both try to sit at the table, though, even if it's just to have a glass of water while he eats.

denahamilton@cox.net · April 2011

Nope. DH works nights...the kids eat together at the table but I rarely eat when they do. I HATE eating and being interrupted..so I sit with them at the table and talk to them and get them the things they need...then I eat around 8pm when they both are in bed.

essey1234 · April 2011

we do eat as a family because it works for us. you know your family better. I do think it's important when you can but i think your pedi can kiss you @ss for giving you crap about it. better to do it separate than have it cause lots of turmoil

groovygrl · April 2011

I plan to when they're older & go to bed later but right now we get home from daycare at 530 or so and they go to bed at 7 and MH doesnt get home til between 630 & 700 so it isn't really an option. I can understand a pedi telling you it is the best thing to do but I think it is weird s/he gave you a hard time about it when there are timing issues... not like you H can come home early & I personally don't think at this age keeping htem up longer than they need to be just to eat dinner as a family is as important as good sleep for them but I have problem sleepers so maybe I'm biased

JDWNYC · April 2011

Your pedi lives in a dream world! DS eats dinner at 4:30 and is in bed by 6, otherwise we would have hell child on our hands. DH gets home at 7:30. So no, we don't eat as a family. I do sit with him for all of his meals, though. When DS and #2 (due in about 4 weeks) are old enough to eat at about 5/5:30, I will make a point to eat with them, and we will eat early on weekends, but unless DH has a job change or office location change that allows him to be home early, we won't be having dinner together except on weekends for a very very long time. Ideal? No. Reality? Yes.

KristinKD · April 2011

Yes, most nights. DH is usually home by 6:30, though.

I'm surprised your pediatrician gave you a hard time about it. Yes, family dinners are important, but not more important than making sure your daughter eats a good meal at a reasonable time. I would feed her when she's ready for dinner, and save the family dinners for the weekend. It will save you all a lot of frustration.

FWIW, when DD1 was younger, I almost always fed her dinner early, just because I preferred being able to sit down and relax with my dinner after she went to bed. It's only as she's gotten older that we've made family dinners more of a priority.

Doylesa · April 2011

We eat together sometime around 6ish. DH gets home around 5 and I usually get home by 5:30. So we eat, clean up, play with DS, and start his bedtime routine around 7:30pm.

diana.filipi · April 2011

Yep. We eat breakfast, sometimes lunch, and dinner together at the table every day.

epphd · April 2011

Danafaith:

When we went to my DD year well check, the pedi gave us a hard time about not eating together as a family. We do on the weekends. Durring the week, however, my H gets off around 7:30-8pm. So I was trying to have dinner ready at 7:30 so right when my H would get home we would all eat together. My DD though is so tired and hungry at this point that dinner is always hard. She cry and fusses and doesn't really eat and my H and i are usually just shovling food in our mouth as fast as we can. Its just not working.

Do you eat together as a family? Or do you let your LO eat by them self? Or do you eat with your LO and your SO eats by them self?

TIA!

Honestly if my pedi gave me grief about it, I'd probably find a new pedi. DH and I work full time, and even though we carpool together, we get home around 6 and Sam goes to bed at 7. Neither of us can prepare dinner, get it on the table, do bath, book and bedtime in time for his bedtime. Oh well.

I think suggesting your child cannot be a good eater, healthy or otherwise well adjusted unless you stay at home or have the time to prepare a family dinner is BS.

We prepare a meal for Sam and sit at the table with him while he eats and we unwind from the day. So far he seems to be doing fine!

Danafaith · April 2011

Thanks for all the imput! I think I am going to go back to how things were. I would rather her eat at an earlier time and be happy, then waiting and being grumpy. Our pedi can kiss my butt. I was just shocked when he told me that. He did the whole "what???? you don't eat as a family!?! Thats horrible" It hurt my feelings like we were being bad parents, but we just can't. My H cant leave work and go back just to eat. Maybe later down the road. But thank you, I'm not going to let it bother me anymore.

Chrysallys · April 2011

We always eat together as a family, no matter how late (though DS goes to sleep late anyway). It's important to us to do so.

12bailey18 · April 2011

We eat as a family at the dinner table every night, except on the weekends. Than we either eat out or just relax in front of the TV and do "whatever." I work until 7pm one night a week and sometimes DS eats a little before that. He still sits in his highchair at the table and will pick at our plates.

epphd · April 2011

Chrysallys:
We always eat together as a family, no matter how late (though DS goes to sleep late anyway). It's important to us to do so.

How does that work? Say you have a work meeting and don't get home until 8 - do you keep your child up for dinner? What if DH is traveling? Do you forgo dinner? (kidding)

IMO, a consistent sleep routine is so much more important than who sits down at the dinner table. As our child gets older, yes, family dinners will be a goal for most days of the week - but at this age, not as much for our family. Can you share why it's so important? I'm genuinely curious how and why you make it work when it would be nearly impossible for a lot of families.

denahamilton@cox.net · April 2011

epphd:

Chrysallys:
We always eat together as a family, no matter how late (though DS goes to sleep late anyway). It's important to us to do so.

How does that work? Say you have a work meeting and don't get home until 8 - do you keep your child up for dinner? What if DH is traveling? Do you forgo dinner? (kidding)

IMO, a consistent sleep routine is so much more important than who sits down at the dinner table. As our child gets older, yes, family dinners will be a goal for most days of the week - but at this age, not as much for our family. Can you share why it's so important? I'm genuinely curious how and why you make it work when it would be nearly impossible for a lot of families.

Yes

qtjess1110 · April 2011

We try but its hard. Im sad about it but my hubby works different hours and the kids eat earlier so its hard.

bmstee03 · April 2011

We eat as a family 6 out of 7 nights a week. DH gets home about an hour before lo and I so he has dinner ready when we get there. It's very convenient and we avoid a lot of fuss.

MsNessa · April 2011

We always do, but that's because our schedules allow us to--I'm a SAHM and DH is home at 6. Every now and then he'll be late and DD & I eat together without him. I wouldn't be able to keep DD up until 7:30 to eat. She's already sleeping by then.

I don't think it makes sense for everyone to be stressed and cranky in order to eat together. That defeats the purpose. I think there are other ways to bond as a family. Do what works for you no matter how much grief you get from your pedi.

SusieQ1982 · April 2011

No. My son likes to eat dinner around 5-5:30 and that's way too early for us. We eat around 7:30 or 8pm.

ablou · April 2011

My husband works from noon to 8pm six days a week. Bean & I eat together around 530, and the three of us eat together on DH's night off. It's important for us to eat together whenever possible, and a parent ALWAYS eats with Bean. We're trying to eat breakfast together these days.

emberlee3 · April 2011

DS eats around 5:30. Whoever is home with him, eats with him. It is a nice family ritual. The three of us eat together when we can.

jesstibb · April 2011

Yes but we wouldn't be able to if we had your schedule. Does your pedi really want you to not feed LO until that late at night? That seems crazy to me!

DrinknDerive · April 2011

We eat dinner early so that the three of us can eat together.

Chrysallys · April 2011

epphd:

Chrysallys:
We always eat together as a family, no matter how late (though DS goes to sleep late anyway). It's important to us to do so.

How does that work? Say you have a work meeting and don't get home until 8 - do you keep your child up for dinner? What if DH is traveling? Do you forgo dinner? (kidding)

IMO, a consistent sleep routine is so much more important than who sits down at the dinner table. As our child gets older, yes, family dinners will be a goal for most days of the week - but at this age, not as much for our family. Can you share why it's so important? I'm genuinely curious how and why you make it work when it would be nearly impossible for a lot of families.

I SAH, DH usually gets home around 6/6:30, sometimes he may come home later, sometimes earlier. DS doesn't go to bed until 9:30. Obviously, if DS was in bed as early as many of the LOs here it wouldn't work as well, however, my kid has always been a night owl. He also is very flexible with his schedule, as are we. While he may have a set wake up time, nap time, etc, he does not have set meal times.

goldenleaves · April 2011

We always eat dinner as a family. We even got Ryan the kind of high chair that straps on the kitchen chair so we're all at equal eye level. Ryan usually doesn't eat with us because he's hungry before then so he usually eats dinner and "helps" me while I make dinner for DH and I. Then we all sit down together when DH gets home.

Happy-JJ · April 2011

SusieQ1982:
No. My son likes to eat dinner around 5-5:30 and that's way too early for us. We eat around 7:30 or 8pm.

This is exactly us. But we sit with him when he eats. In all honesty, it is not relaxing at all to eat when he eats. I end up just helping him and never get a bite in myself (we eat lunch at the same time).

water-fairy · April 2011

DH doesn't get home until 7. In the last month DS has pushed his bedtime to after 9 so now we try to eat as a family every night. Sometimes he gets too tired and fussy though and we too end up eating as fast as we can.

kristinem17 · April 2011

DH works at sea and is gone for months at a time. Right now my MIL is living with us to help out. So our family at the moment consists of me, MIL and DS. I work full time and get home around 5:20pm. When I get home I am not hungry, but DS most definitely is ready for his dinner. So I feed DS at 5:30pm. My MIL is European and lives there, they have a totally different way of life and while she is here she is pretty much sticking with her eating habits/routine. She doesn't have lunch and dinner, rather just one combined meal, around 2-3pm. To that end, she eats her meal while I am at work and usually DS is napping. So when I am hungry in the evening, it's about 7:45pm and DS is already sleeping and MIL doesn't eat at night, so I eat alone. In a nutshell, no, we don't eat as a family! Now on the weekends, I will join my MIL and eat with her around 2-3pm, but I usually eat again something like around 7-8pm. DS eats at 11:30am and 5:30pm.

law8296 · April 2011

Sounds like pedi has good intentions but may be a bit off base for the age of your child and consideration of when your H gets home, etc. Why not let LO eat dinner around the time she's ready (5-5:30??) and then maybe have some "dessert" (fruit, etc.??) with you all before bed OR- just focus on "family meals" during the weekend.

For our family- we're all home by 5pm and I have a WONDERFUL husband that often cooks dinner or finishes off what I prepared ahead of time (crockpot, freezer meal, etc.) and we're able to eat together at 5:30. At times we just let DS eat and then we eat dinner after he goes to bed (7:15ish or so).

My current pet peeves are different: trying to get DH to eat at table when we're all eating together- as opposed to in the living room and turning OFF the t.v. during dinner.

do what works for your little one and your family.

sasky · April 2011

On weekends, yes. Weekdays, if possible but not usually. Like many of the pp's, it just wouldn't work with our schedule. We both work full time and DS goes to bed at 6:30pm.

I don't think it's a pedi's place to be giving advice on this topic.

mari_gold · April 2011

We do ... I'm too lazy to cook twice in one night and Zack loves eating with us. But we both get home by 5:30 and can be done with dinner by 6. If one of us can't be home by our regular dinnertime, the other eats with Zack and the latecomer eats after he goes to bed.

melody921 · April 2011

Yes, most nights. However, that said, there are times DH will be home late or I have to go back out, and then we might not all eat at the same time. I'm big on family mealtimes when they work though.

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