March 2011 Moms

What do I DO with her all day?

So this may sound silly/stupid/ridiculous, and flame away if need be, but I have no idea what to do with my daughter all day.  I've never been a kid/baby person and I have no experience with infants.  I love her, but I've never been alone with her all day by myself.  What do you do with a 4 week-old?  She's clean, dry, fed, and still screaming.  I can't get her to nap.  Am I supposed to walk around in circles with her for the next 6 hours until my husband comes home?  It's snowing/raining here and I don't drive, so we're stuck in the house, and as she's screaming, I'm crying.  What am I supposed to do with this kid all day?
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Re: What do I DO with her all day?

  • I am so sorry she is screaming and crying right now.  At first, I, too, had no idea what to do with my son...but when he cries or screams...I practice Happiest Baby on the Block and it always worked for us.  If you are not familiar with it, see if you can google it and see the steps to take to help your baby calm down.  If you have tired it...then can you:

    • bathe your LO
    • try the swing
    • try a pacifier or your finger until she falls asleep

    Sorry I don't have more suggestions.  As for what to do with LO all day...when he is awake and happy, I let him play on the mat or in my lap if he is fussy. 

    Good luck!

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  • Does she have colic?
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  • One more thing...do yo have a wrap where you can wear her?
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  • I wondered the same thing, especially when she was fussy.  Try reading to her.  I know it sounds silly at this age but they really enjoy hearing your voice.  I would even read posts from the bump, the newspaper, articles on yahoo news.  Do you have a moby wrap or baby bjorn?  That was my life saver and helped me gain my sanity back.  Have you tried gas drops?  That could be a reason for fussing. 
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  • She doesn't have colic, and I do have a Moby - it used to work wonders, but in the last week she has decided she hates it.  She's also not particularly cuddly, I hold, rock, walk with her and often she just fights it and squawks at me until I put her down.  I guess I just really feel like I'm not cut out for this, as silly as that sounds.

    ETA - I have tried gas drops as well, they seem to help for a bit, but not for very long.  Thank you all for the suggestions, though, I really do appreciate it.

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  • do you have a friend you can call who can come bring you some coffee and company? also, know that at some point she'll cry just as much in your arms as in her crib. so set her down if you need too, eat some food and take a break. you are a good mom.
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  • I would try the gas drops after every feed. DD is bottle fed, so we put a drop in her bottle with every feed. This has helped tremendously.

    When DD has her fussy time (btwn 7pm-11pm/12am every night) I rock her, try the paci, pace the floors, put her in the baby K'Tan and alternate rocking her and pacing the floors, try swaddling her, try her in the swing. When all of that fails I just end up holding a crying baby.

    If you're getting overwhelmed your LO will sense this. Try putting her in her crib with her mobile, or white noise machine and just leave her for a couple minutes and give yourself a break. If you're more relaxed it might go a little better.

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  • Have you tried white noise?  I noticed if I put my LO in the swing and run the vacuum, she'll fall fast asleep or at least calm down.

    You can download a 1 hour mp3 of vacuum cleaner noises too.  We did this for DD #1 (who had colic as a baby) and we still play it on repeat for her while she sleeps. 

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  • This sounds silly but I have found 2 things work most of the time (along with trying what the other ladies have tried) 1:  Laying DS on my chest and humming--I think he likes the vibration 2:  laying him flat on his back on a blanket on the floor.  It sounds silly, but I think sometimes he just doesn't want to be held.

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  • The only thing I have to add is that my LO likes she sound of the shower.  Every morning I put her in the bathroom with me in the Rock and Play while I take a shower and she falls asleep.  I've considered turning on the shower just to get her to calm down at times, but I haven't done it yet.
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  • Thank you for posting this! As I sit here with the little guy on my lap he is fed, dry and burped but seems anxious- like he wants to do something but I have no idea what.  I've tried talking but can only do that for so long.  I feel like the worst mom ever.
  • Sometimes when DD is inconsolable, I'll put her in the car seat, zip up the cozy cover (you can put a receiving blanket over it if you don't have a cozy cover) and just walk around for a while. You could also try the car seat on top of the dryer running.
  • About two weeks ago (at 5 weeks) my little guy started crying and getting anxious after feeding him, so I assumed he was still hungry. When I would put him on, he would start to fall asleep. So I realized that his crying only when he was hungry, had turned into when he was tired. When he gets to a point of being really tired, me holding him, cuddling him, letting him suck on the pacifier doesn't work, and he just needs to put himself to sleep. It is frustrating and sad to see him get to that point.

     

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  • Here are some vacuum cleaner sounds on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hERLH3Q-hCQ
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  • My 6.5 weeks old has been SUPER fussy all week, so I feel your pain! My motto is: If she's happy somewhere (ie on her changing table, swing, my chest etc), leave her until she's not happy anymore!

    We also use the hair dryer for white noise - she loves it! And there is a great "hair dryer" app for free for ipod/iphone - it's just a virtual hair dryer that makes non-stop noise (don't know why anyone except the parent of a newborn would want it!). We hook it up to a speaker and play it for her while she naps in her Rock n Play or swing.

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