Just curious...who all knows?

Prayer10 · April 2011

Just being curious, have you told people about your struggles with TTC? If so, family, friends? I am stuck and confused so I thought I would be nosey

Sweets11 · April 2011

Everyone. I'm a chronic over-sharer, but I also take comfort in being open about our issues and, hopefully, spreading a little bit of awareness about IF.

goodgollie · April 2011

Most of my friends and family know about our struggles, but most everyone knows about my unicornuate uterus because of our Mystery Diagnosis episode. Everyone knows we wanted to have another baby so we're obviously struggling. I love having my friends and family know because they are incredibly supportive without being nosey. It will be wonderful when we finally do announce we are pg.

genmalone · April 2011

Initially, we only told 4 friends about our issues. Over time, we shared more. For the most part I'm glad we told but I've had a few that have pissed me off. One friend kept emailing me every month asking if I was KU. I finally just told her to stop. I've found that if you're going to share you really have to break it down for people. I've emailed the IF etiquette list from the Resolve website to a few friend and even my Mother. Be prepared for things like "why don't you just adopt/have a surrogate?" and all the "relax" bs. I also found through sharing that I have a friend going through the exact same thing. She's been trying a little longer than us but is just starting treatment. Its been nice having someone to talk to and laugh about all of this.

Prayer10 · April 2011

Those are all awesome stories. thanks so much for your responses. I guess, in a way, I feel like it makes it more real if I tell people. Not that I am in denial, but do you know what I mean? I've told a couple close friends, that's it. None of my family knows and that's where I am stuck. But thanks again and keep the experiences coming!

jstrat53 · April 2011

LGLDVM:

The only people I regret telling are 'friends' that really are more like aquaintences. They don't understand IF and I don't talk to them enough to teach them about what I'm going through. The are thoughtful and they care, but they often say things that annoy me because they are ignorant about the process and just don't know what else to say. I'm also not close enough to those ladies to want to tell them right away if I get a BFP, but since they know we are going through treatments, they are constantly asking if I'm KU yet.

I agree. I accidently let something slip to a co-worker and I regret that as well as a couple of not-so-close friends. I am so glad we told our parents because they were pretty supportive and my mom doesn't ask me about stuff unless I bring it up first, which is such a relief to not have to always talk about it.

kpirelli · April 2011

Sweets11:
Everyone. I'm a chronic over-sharer, but I also take comfort in being open about our issues and, hopefully, spreading a little bit of awareness about IF.

This exactly for me too.

hunterjumper102 · April 2011

I have told my mom and she is the only family on my side or my husbands side that knows we are actually doing fertility treatment. My husbands side of the family(his mom) knows that we have had trouble but not that we are doing anything about it. My husbands family is very private I guess you could say, they arnt big doctor people and would probably be the ones to say "it will happen when it happens" or "if its meant to be it will be" and I just don't want to deal with that. My close friends all know and none of my husbands friends know. You can see who is the sharer in our relationship. For me I think that if I share with too many people it becomes to real. Good luck, this is one of the hardest parts for me is telling people and dealing with people knowing.

Aime32 · April 2011

Some family and some co-workers know. I'm very happy that my co-workers know. They have been very supportive and helpful (and acutally know when to back off). A few of my close co-workers have struggled with IF as well so it has been really nice being able to turn to someone.

I do regret telling some family. They just don't get it and seem to not want to get it. It seems like it has been told to people to that I really don't want to be known to. I'm a very private person.

Mrs.Slick · April 2011

A few select friends, our parents and the internet. One of my sisters also knows but not really about our IF stuff, just that we're trying. If it were up to me our parents wouldn't know. DH wanted to tell ALL of our families when we were dx with IF and when I had my surgery but I compromised and we decided just on parents.

keelmic · April 2011

Both of our families know and many friends do too. The longer it takes to get pregnant, the more people we tell. I don't want to feel like I have to keep IF a secret from people, so when friends ask if we are going to start a family soon, we tell them. I haven't regretted it yet.

blueberries8 · April 2011

Our immediate families know what's going on. I've told a few friends but mostly just pieces here and there. DH has never discussed it with his friends and we haven't ever discussed it with any of our mutual friends, either.

sbrowns08 · April 2011

At first no one knew. Since it's been quite a while now since we received out dx, we told people here and there. Now pretty much everyone close to us knows.

mwlove · April 2011

Our parents and siblings know, and we plan to tell his grandparents soon as we are really close to them. I'm glad we told our parents because they are very supportive.

Our close friends know, as well as some of my and DH's coworkers. It's nice to have my co-workers know because when I have doctor's appt. they are more understanding, rather than making rude comments about how I'm gone all the time. They are also supportive. By telling people at work, I have found out about a lot of other women who have gone through IF, so it's lead to some very comforting discussions.

adaisybug · April 2011

LGLDVM:

A lot of people in my life know about my infertility. Do I regret some of that? Yes. But for the most part, I'm happy that I have been open about it.

This.

I hate that we had to let the cat out of the bag and we were not able to "surprise" people. IF sucks.

FyreFry5 · April 2011

Sweets11:
Everyone. I'm a chronic over-sharer, but I also take comfort in being open about our issues and, hopefully, spreading a little bit of awareness about IF.

This exactly! Everyone has been majorly supportive and awesome about it, even if sometimes they don't know exactly what to say.

GL, whatever you decide.

amor_eterno · April 2011

My best friend knows everything, and a couple of others know we've done some testing, but not too many details. My mom knew I was charting and that I wasn't ovulating, but the last convo's have been filled with too much "God has a plan" comments, so I don't talk to her about it anymore. When we get pregnant, I'll give her the details but I wish I could talk to her about it more.

eandk18 · April 2011

My parents, 3 friends and one of my brothers. I regret telling me friends because while I know they try to be supportive, 2 of them say things that are just not. The other one hasn't asked me one thing about how I'm doing since I told her 6 months ago. (A friend who I supported while going through 2 miscarriages-sent flowers, visited, brought gifts) I've been told I'm trying to hard, just relax and that it will happen "when it's meant to." BLAH!

My mom had been somewhat supportive, but for a while I think she thought it was all in my head and that I was stressing out too much. I finally told my brother because my mom told me that him and my SIL are IF too!!! Talk about a double whammy. I think my mom is more supportive now that she knows we are both going through it. It sucks and it's made me sad to know that they are going through this but I've been talking to my SIL about it. It feels good to talk to someone in real life who's gone through all the testing and knows what it's like.

FWIW- I do plan on sharing my experience once I (hopefully) become pregnant. The only reason I don't right now is because it's too stressful to have people be constantly asking questions and wondering. I don't need any extra stress right now!:)

megawatts79 · April 2011

I've told almost everyone...but I'm just that kind of girl. I don't really keep secrets, and it makes it easier for me to process the more I can talk about it. Everyone is very supportive, but sometimes I wish I hadn't blabbed so much. Everyone always wants an update and sometimes I just don't want to repeat the story again...tough call.

MyHusbandMyHero · April 2011

At first I just told my MIL -- she went through IUI for my baby SIL ..Then as we got closer to the IVF process, I told my parents because my husband is disabled and we will be moving into a new house the same month as IVF and with our two dogs, I was going to need some help around the house. THEN we found out my younger SIL who's not married is KU so we felt like we had to tell everyone -- and I hated that. So many people when they hear the word "infertility" they think something is broken.. No weird relatives -- my DHs penis works just fine -- we just didnt have tadpoles swimming in the pond, and now we do, but OK they dont swim well.. I didnt want everyone knowing our business but like I said we felt kind of forced to. :-/ sucksssss

kasey9kahne · April 2011

My mom know a little, friends at work know a little, and my DH's family does not know anything. It is easier for me not to have them asking all the time how things are going. I can only handle my mom and a few coworkers.

jbeck78 · April 2011

Everyone knows about our struggles. I am a very open person, I am happy everyone knows because even though they dont quite understand, it lets them understand a little bit more what is going on with me and DH. They know we struggle with conceiving, they dont all get the updates on when the tests are happening or what the results are, only G-ma, Mom and my sister get those G-ma, Mom and sis also get the "I'm scared to get this test done", or "what if this comes back like this", so I am glad to have someone to whine to.

I am glad that I told people at work also, because the more I talk about it, the more I find out that I am not alone in this crazy IF world, and its sad, but I can have someone to talk to who understands.

Mitzi Bishi · April 2011

We haven't told anyone and it's really difficult. I have one friend that has had extensive troubles and always feel like I should share, but I'm just not there. I don't know if it's because that would be admitting there's an issue or what.

My DH is super private and probably will never tell a soul, so I don't really feel it's my place to expose that either. Even if I just said we're having troubles I know that I'd start bucket dumping the rest of it.

I have noticed it's taking a slight toll that I assume will only get worse. I don't talk to my mom as frequently, because I don't want her to be able to notice when I'm out of sorts. We always thought I'd fly home to surprise my parents in person, but that's not happening.

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