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1st Trimester
[vent!]Waiting on boyfriends mom to tell her family before I can tell anyone...
I think it's a LITTLE ridiculous that I have to wait until my boyfriends mom tells all of her family before I can tell my friends. I have a lot of close friends from high school I would like to share this with but I can't because she thinks one of them will post something on Facebook. She doesn't want to tell anyone until I'm 12 weeks.
LADY. IF I WANT TO TELL EVERYONE YOU SHOULD LET ME TELL EVERYONE. IT'S MY PREGNANCY, NOT YOURS.
:[
End vent.
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Re: [vent!]Waiting on boyfriends mom to tell her family before I can tell anyone...
How annoying!! Not to be rude but you need to go ahead and set things straight with this future grandma. You don't want this to be the start of MANY future head butts to come (you're not changing the diaper right, don't you think baby is cold? etc) Let her know it is important to share this with your few close friends to have someone who can relate to you and give you support during this roller coaster ride. Also, I just told my closest girlfriends and asked them to respect the fact we still have some people to tell and to keep it off FB until they see something on my wall.
Good luck!!
It's YOUR news to share, not hers. Don't let her walk all over you because it'll only get worse.
Go shout it from the rooftops if you want!
My boyfriend is tired of being in between me and his mother. It's really stressful on him that we don't get a long. I'm trying to be as respectful as I can towards her for his sake.
As a compromise you could tell your close friends in person or over the phone (not on facebook) and ask them to keep the news off of the internet. That way you get the support you need from your friends and you are still "keeping the peace" for the boyfriends sake. You could also make sure to point out the nice, respectful effort you are making
Good luck with whatever you choose! And I do agree that it will help to set some boundries now. It's definitely more YOUR news than hers.
Together since 5/08 ~ Married 6/19/10 ~ TTC #1 since 8/10
BFP#1 3/26/11 ~ EDD 12/2/11 ~ Ectopic Twins left tube 7w3d
BFP#2 11/2/11 ~ EDD 7/14/12 ~ Robert Edgar born 7/18/12
BFP#3 9/28/13 ~ EDD 5/20/14 ~ Benjamin Clarence born 5/15/14
EXACTLY! How rude of her! As a matter of fact, if it was me, I'd tell her NOT to tell her family. You'll tell when you are ready. Don't let her start taking charge of your pregnancy already.
ummm, why are you even considering listening to her? So wait, she gets to tell everyone she knows about YOUR pregnancy, and you're not allowed to? haha, that's crazy!!!! I would tell whoever I wanted. It's not her place to do that.
She shouldn't have to compromise on this with her boyfriends mom. It's not that women's news to share. Her boyfriend's mom needs to respect HER. She'll end up walking all over her if she listens to her over this.
I have nothing. Really. How long is it going to take for you to realize that your boyfriends mom is a control freak?
Take control. Cause I, for one, really don't want to hear this kind of biitching for the next 8 months.
Malakai - 8.3.09
Ezra - 12.1.11 ASD
Haha this. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's hormones thought this. Your bf needs to stand up for his family and you may want to grow a pair before baby is born. Your family your way. Respect is one thing, being walked on is another.
Make a pregnancy ticker
BFP 8/2/10 (3w5d); No more heartbeat on 8/30/10 (7w4d); D&C on 9/2/10 (8w) - Baby Boy with Triploidy
BFP 12/3/10 (4w2d); Natural miscarriage 12/12/10 (5w4d) - Unknown cause
Diagnosed with Compound Heterozygous MTHFR
BFP 3/9/11; Baby Boy #2 born on 11/7/11
Currently TTC Baby #3
I thought this site was to talk to other pregnant women about what they are going through and to get advice and give advice. If you don't want to hear my "bitching" please don't read my vents about her, because you already know the basis of what they are going to contain. I needed advice because I don't know how to deal with this woman. I'm sorry if I struck one of your nerves.
I'm totally just lurking here - no BFP for me yet but your post touched a nerve.
In my opinion, your boyfriend NEEDS to stand up for you - no excuses. He chose YOU and he needs to remember that. He can do so gently and kindly but firmly. But if mom's behavior is that inappropriate - she will only get worse with time.
My DH will tell you that he "stayed out of it" between his ex and his mom and it did serious damage to his first marriage. He has since learned his lesson and knows very clearly now that if his mother gets out of line with me - it's his obligation to stand up for me because really what he is standing up for is "us".
And you should tell anyone who want whenever you want! Period.
My family is a Foreign Service family. Families like mine are posted in every corner of the globe. We live our lives away from family, friends and the conviences and comforts of home. We often live and work in dangerous places among those that misunderstand our intentions and purposes. Sometimes members of our ranks sacrifice our lives to further diplomacy. Please remember that we serve too. And I'm always open to questions.
You need to tell her off. I am not going to ask your age, but many people here will presume you are a teenager who lives with her bf's mom based on your post. If that's the case, you need to do what you have to do to remove yourself from her influence.
If by some chance, you and your bf live on your own - then I have no idea what to tell you, other than, wtf are you paying her any mind at all? She is stepping all over you because YOU allow it.
You have had two complaints about this woman in as many days. I can see it already "MIL won't let me find out the sex! :::stomps foot::::".... "MIL won't let me get a epidural!!!"....
Take control.
Malakai - 8.3.09
Ezra - 12.1.11 ASD
Some would say you are GOING to be a mother....I say that you already are. You need to make decisions that is best for you and your child and stand up to them....
Trust me, this is the tip of the iceburg. If I remember correctly, you also posted that this woman insisted on going to your prenatal appointment to prove that you are pregnant. REALLY?!?!?!
I get you are young and I get "keeping the peace". But I'm sorry, those were not situations in which you need to compromise. If you don't put your foot down NOW it will only get worse, when a live baby is out of your belly and needs care. TRUST that she will try to control how you raise your child as well.
The counseling is a good idea, and definitely keep trying to work it out, but please, for the love of God, don't let her walk all over you!