- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Success after IF
dana316
member
If I see ONE more negative post about public BFing,
dana316
member
I am going to lose my sh!t.
Some DA woman on one of the birth month boards has totally ticked me off...she had the audacity to post some bullsh!t about being offended by a woman BFing in a restaurant, where people were eating. WTFF????
Its an old post, unfortunately...or I would soooooo being ripping her a new one right now, instead of venting about her here ;-)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: If I see ONE more negative post about public BFing,
lol I am not a fan of nip unless they are covered. And yes I'm nursing as I type this. Everyone is different. I was raised by my mom who thought it was odd so I wasn't a fan either.
It just doesn't make me comfortable- I think its because you don't see it that often. Some women don't cover at all and some do. I prefer to cover so when I see women who don't it's catches my eye and then I feel akward bc I feel like I'm staring.
Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin.
Amber
TTC since March '06
MFI, LPD, possible PCOS
3 chem pgs * m/c identical twins at 9w 10.06
IVF w/ICSI #2 - beta - 187! (9dp5dt), beta - 367! (11dp5dt)
IVF w/ICSI #3 - it's a girl!
My IF Blog: Between the Lines
My Parenting Blog: Letters From Your Mama
This might not win me any fans, but I would probably try to go to my car to nurse instead of doing it in a restaurant where people are eating.
Yes, I know the baby is eating, too, but I would try to nurse in private if possible - especially in a restaurant so as not to make anyone uncomfortable.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Honestly, I don't care, and women should feed how they want, and where they want, but there was something kind of odd about a woman yesterday who sat down on the floor of a very crowded restaurant play place and nursed her at least 2 year old, without so much as a minor attempt to be discreet. There were 5 boys there about 7 years old, and they cleared out fast.
I'm not saying she shouldn't do it, but something was just....weird about the whole thing.
So yeah, I kind of get both sides.
I'll be brutally honest here...
It shocks me that there are still people who are uncomfortable with NIP. I mean, really??
We can put basically NUDE women on billboards for the whole world to see, and nobody seems to be uncomfortable with that...but if my child decides its time to eat at my meal time...and I happen to be in a restaurant, then I should get up and go to my car, for fear that I might make somebody uncomfortable?
Yeah...I don't think so.
Can somebody please explain to me why it is fine to see breasts, as long as they are being thought of a sexual...but as soon as we start to use them for their intended purpose, people get weirded out?
Well, for one thing, lots of people are uncomfortable (and not pleased) with almost naked women on billboards.
But honestly, people can't really control what weirds them out or makes them uncomfortable, and you sure as heck can't control what weirds others out or makes them uncomfortable. People feel what they feel and you are entitled to feel what you feel. You think BFing in public with no need to be descreet is great. Others would never personally NIP. Or would do so with an effort to be subtle about it.
It is fair to ask the world to let you BF when you need to or want to, even in a restaurant during dinner. To ask the world to not interfere, to not ask you to leave, to not force you to go to your car, to not give you dirty looks.
But it is too much to ask everyone to be A-OK with it.
For every person who thinks it is a perfectly normal function of the human body and breasts, there will be people who also understand penises, while quite sexual objects, also serve the perfectly normal and healthy function of urintation. Doesn't mean they want to see someone urinate during dinner.
I've never seen anyone not be discreet about it, so why do people assume that (some or most or all) people aren't being discreet?
Knowing that someone is breastfeeding does not equal her not being discreet in my book. If those are the standards then I guess I'm not discreet either.
I've never seen any major skin in public, and I've never shown any, that's for sure.
I agree with you 100%.
Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07
Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
I won't change her diaper in the middle of a restaurant.
But I will feed her.
And the best way to help people feel more comfortable is by exposing them to it more often.
Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07
Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
This.
By some standards I probably wasn't discreet while I NIP'd. I never used a cover and fed Ollie at a restaurant table many times. But I also wasn't flashing my t!ts at every passerby either. I think some people think "discreet" means that people shouldn't be able to tell what you're doing - which I think is ridiculous. The only way people would've seen anything inappropriate while I nursed would be if they were watching me intently while I switched sides. But because my baby's head could be seen held to my chest it's inappropriate?
And as for comparing p!ssing on a plate to feeding my child? Yeah...no.
Amber
TTC since March '06
MFI, LPD, possible PCOS
3 chem pgs * m/c identical twins at 9w 10.06
IVF w/ICSI #2 - beta - 187! (9dp5dt), beta - 367! (11dp5dt)
IVF w/ICSI #3 - it's a girl!
My IF Blog: Between the Lines
My Parenting Blog: Letters From Your Mama
I never said not to be discreet. I don't want to see your nipples any more than you want to see mine. I have nursed my child all over three states, and I don't think I've ever shown my nipples to anyone.
However, my child would NOT nurse under a cover...and she had to eat. I was her only source of nutrition, and I sure as heck wasn't going to let her go hungry or go to some nasty public bathroom for fear of somebody being weirded out, just because I was doing what mammals do...feeding my child with my breasts.
And to compare breastfeeding with urination...I'm just not sure what to say about that
I don't get it either.
Huh...
I don't really have too much experience to draw from here to say with certainty whether I would NIP or not ( for me, I think it would depend on where I was... can't imagine doing it close to where I work for fear of running into one of my middle school boys, LOL), but I certainly am not at all uncomfortable when I see a mom nursing whether it be a mall, restaurant, etc.
i can't do a thumbs-up on my mac, but i would!
and i've got to second people's comments that comparing urination (excrement) to breastfeeding (food) is not the greatest analogy.
I am uncomfortable with practically nude billboards. I bet a lot of people are. But sex sells, so they exist.
In general, I try my best to be aware of my surroundings. Especially in restaurants where people are paying good money for a nice experience. Hell, I freak out when the girls cry in public - especially in a restaurant - for fear that they are annoying someone. I may be oversensitive, but it's how I was raised. For that reason, I am well aware that some people are uncomfortable with NIP, and I would try my best to avoid nursing at a table next to people who are eating. Like I said, I would probably go to my car to do it, turn on some music and relax. If I didn't have my car with me or whatever, I would find the most discreet place possible (though I agree that nursing in a bathroom is disgusting).
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
My problem with the whole "where people are eating" thing is that it makes it sound like breastfeeding is gross, and not something that should be done around food...or people who are trying to eat their food, for fear of grossing them out and turning them off their dinner.
Am I reading too much into that, or is that the true meaning of that phrasing?
I don't think that unirating is the same as feeding your baby.
My point is that when trying to argue that it is perfectly natural to BF your baby, so why are people uncomfortable with the process, other people are thinking it is perfectly natural to pee, but I don't want to see you do that either. THAT is why some people are uncomfrotable with the whole sceanrio.
I just hate to see something so polarizing for women, with such extremes on both sides. I don't think it does women any favors.
It should be okay for women to NIP, in a restaurant, where and when they need or choose to. No one should force them to do otherwise.
And women who NIP should also be a bit respectful that for many people, they aren't comfortable with that, and take reasonable steps to consider their surroundings.
But questioning why people are uncomfortable with the scenario and demanding they be more open minded just doesn't help anyone.
There is so much room in the middle of the extremes for everyone to peacefully coexist. Better not to turn it into a us vs. them sceanrio. The people who find it uncomfortable can respect the NIP side by letting them do their thing without giving them the side eye, and the NIP people can respect those that are uncomfortable with it by being a bit respectful when possible. Is that so hard?
I'm late to the party but I would basically have NEVER eaten a meal the first 3 months of G's life if I couldn't NIP. I almost always used a cover (though she hated it and I think if I ever get to have another baby I will use it less-- maybe just use a blanket to cover the top of my boob). I timed it so she would be on my left boob when my food came, (fed her on the right first before the food came) and I always ordered something that could be eaten with one hand (no soup or anything that needed to be cut up) so I could eat with my right hand while holding her to my boob with my left.
If people in a public restaurant, not sitting at my table, are uncomfortable with me feeding my baby, perhaps they should pay attention to what is going on at their table instead. Ridiculous.
A little late to the post, but I'm here!
I have to say that I am a proud breastfeeder, and that I proudly NIP and don't care who is uncomfortable. I feel that if I demonstrate a behavior of not being ashamed of or hiding out when my baby has to eat, then maybe people will see that it is not something to be shamed about, rather, but something perfectly normal and natural. Like PP said, the more exposure people have to something, the more normal and acceptable it becomes to them. Sadly, BFing has fallen so far out of grace that NIP is something to be offended about.
FWIW, I always use a cover when in the general public, just because Maya loves to pop off and look at me and smile. I don't want anyone seeing my goods, but I sure don't care if they see me nursing my child.
Oh, and NIP is protected by law, urinating in public is not.