Community› The Bump Message Boards› Single Parents
Single Parents
New Discussion

I need help on some decisions

vahokiegirlvahokiegirl
in Single Parents

I need some advice...on Monday Im going to the court house to see if I can get a trial to amend the PPO.

After a meeting with my EXs family, Ive decided that I would allow my EX to see K.

He agreed that it would totally be under my terms....until I felt that he was trust worthy. Also he needs to prove to me that he can be sober...long than the 3mths that he says he has been.

I want to make sure that I protect myself and K as much as possible....but I want to be there for all his visitations. I dont want him to be under the influence of anything. I would like for him to get some type of counseling. And I dont want his new found gf around the baby. I dont know her and i know that most likely he is using her because he only moved in with her bc he got kicked out of his mothers.

He has only been with her for a few months....so I really dont think she needs to be involved.

What would you make your terms be in this situation? We arent changing anything with custody at all...he agrees that K should be with me.

He also agrees that he needs to do whatever it takes to prove that I can trust him with K....

So what should I make the terms be? I will be talking to the DV people at the court house and my lawyer but I just want some other single mother feedback!!

Thanks 

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: I need help on some decisions

  • lyndafortunelyndafortune
    I'm kind of going through the same. I think you should let him know you are uncomfortable with the idea of his (gf) being around the child. And when you drop off your baby if he seems to be under the influence then leave but if he seems like he is doing fine and is sober then leave your baby with him. But of course you don't have to leave them completly alone you can hang around the first few times untill your comfortable or make a somewhat public visitation like a park or somethin where you can still be nearby but you dont have to be right there.
    BabyFetus Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • Meliss227Meliss227

    Let me just say I've never had a PPO or a reason to request one...

    But I don't think I would go and request that it be amended if I did for the reasons you do. It's fine that you want to let your LO's father see him and be apart of his life but I don't think you should be the one supervising the visits.

    If he is going to agree to your terms you should request that he have supervised visits at a center with a neutral third party that he pays for. 

    He should have to take parenting classes and go to counseling. He should have to be drug tested.

     There should be a very detailed CO in place. 

    Even though visitation and child support are separate he should also be supporting your LO financially, if he isn't already. It would be a step towards being a responsible, mature, reliable parent.

    There is something that bothers me about this situation though. 

    Good Luck with whatever you decide though. 

     

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    "There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."
    Report Reply
  • blondnearbyblondnearby
    From personal experience, unless your ex agrees to not bring his GF around, the judge will not rule the she cannot be present.  The closest thing I was able to get that my DDs were not allowed to be with the GF without supervision.  I also agree with an above poster about supervised visits.  Have it be a third party and not yourself.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • UnknownUnknown
    This content has been removed.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"