OK people thanks for making me feel like a selfish piece of crap. I was simply asking a question, I am SO SORRY if you people assumed it was ok to be completely rude to me for asking it. I thought this was supposed to be a supporting community and not a place for you to go and be rude to others for asking questions. I am NOT a selfish person and I was planning on asking people to NOT bring gifts if I did have one. So I would just like to thank all the rude people on here for being total assholes to me, you really know how to make a person feel good on a new board.
The point of a shower is to shower you with gifts. If you refuse the gifts, then its not a shower. So you really don't want a shower, you just want a party. SO have a party.
As usual, I agree with Gummybear. Go with what is customary in your area. However, NOT having a second shower does not mean you will love your 2nd (or any subsequent child after that) any less.
I know of a girl who THREW her own "sprinkle". And you can bet I didn't go and thought it was completely rude and selfish of her to have done it in the first place.
My mom has had more than one baby shower. Not a big deal. People just wanted to do it for her & it really helped because our family didn't have a lot of money at that time.
Exactly a lot of people don't have a lot of money to buy new things if the baby is a different gender or for any other reason. I think this is a decision for everyone to make on their own not what society or some rules of etiquette say!?! Who really uses etiquette everyday anyways? Noone I know.
Your poor planning (not being able to afford a second child) is not the world at large's responsibility to remedy.
I would say no, and also, I would never throw myself a baby shower....even with the first baby. I would just hope someone would offer, but I would never ask.
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If someone has offered to throw you one than there's nothing wrong with it. My friends offered to throw me and another girl in our circle a joint sprinkle. We're due within a week of each other and it's both our second. I say it's fine, if it's offered. If it's not, than No. But that goes for the first child too.
In my family, we believe that each child should be celebrated equally. The first shower is the biggest one with all the presents, cause it's your first child. The second, third, etc. showers are really just a party with fun games and food. Presents are optional, but people bring them anyway. No need to register. The only time the second, third, etc. showers are required to have presents is when you are having a completely different gender baby. Like if you had a boy first, and now you're having a girl that would call for presents. Mostly clothes and blankets.
I've had a shower for each of my boys. We are expecting #3 in Sept. and if it's a girl, we'll ask for girl stuff. There's nothing wrong with more then one shower. It's initially a celebration of a new life that's coming. Nobody said you had to bring a present.
My opinion is only sprinkles for the 2nd kid. Basically a smaller shower with some food, small gifts, and no games. It's just a nice way to get together to celebrate the mom and the 2nd child. But it should not be a big production.
I've been to showers for second babies and thought they were fine, but I don't want one. I didn't even want the first, really. I wanted a co-ed BBQ, but someone offered to throw a shower, so of course I was appreciative and said yes.
I don't totally get the idea that they are rude or tacky, though. It may be that because in my circle of friends and family, no one buys each other big ticket items; really just clothes and books and little things. I see no reason that a second kid couldn't use some new clothes/books/toys, and I personally love buying that stuff for pregnant friends. I think most people do. I buy that stuff for my pregnant friends whether it is their first or second (no one I know has hit #3 and whether or not they are having a shower.
FWIW, in response to the idea that if you don't have one for the second baby, then you aren't celebrating the second baby as much...obviously that's not true. But I will say that with this one, I'm not as excited overall. I'm too busy with DS, and I"ve been through all this before. I'm so elated to be having this baby, but the excitement level is not there. I think this is a very common perspective, and I can see why someone who likes showers would want one for the second, to get some of that excitement going on.
OK people thanks for making me feel like a selfish piece of crap. I was simply asking a question, I am SO SORRY if you people assumed it was ok to be completely rude to me for asking it. I thought this was supposed to be a supporting community and not a place for you to go and be rude to others for asking questions. I am NOT a selfish person and I was planning on asking people to NOT bring gifts if I did have one. So I would just like to thank all the rude people on here for being total assholes to me, you really know how to make a person feel good on a new board.
Oh. My. God girl take a chill pill. You came on here and asked if we all though it was tacky or not and guess what?? It IS!! And we all said so. Just bc you don't like the answer we all gave you doesn't mean you need to flip out and call anyone an a-hole. No one was being rude about it they were just informing you that yes it is rude and tacky to ask/want/expect a 2nd baby shower.
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I've had "Sprinkles" for friends. Only close friends and family were invited so it was about 10 people in all. We all brought diapers and had a lunch. It was really nice and the mom appreciated it. The people that came were going to buy the baby something anyway and it gave mom a nice reason to get out and enjoy an afternoon with friends without baby #1. I didn't think it was tacky one bit.
I too think it is tacky. I don't think showers are to "celebrate the baby" as much as they are too prepare the mommy and daddy. If your kids are only a couple years apart, they will be using the same stroller, high chair, carseat etc. I would find it extremely tacky if I got an invite in the mail for a shower for someone that has a 1 or 2 year old already.
Having said that, if you truly want to "celebrate the baby", I think you should throw your own party. You can say no gifts ( even though people will probably still bring them). We may gave a small come meet the baby gathering after the baby is born and say, "no gifts."
No you don't need a shower. Your kids are close in age and the same gender. You really shouldn't need much.
I'm a big believer that showers welcome the woman into motherhood and you only become a mother once. You don't get a shower with each kid.
I totally agree. I had no shower with my first child. My friends are talking about giving me a small shower for this child because we are supposedly expecting the girl this time. They also feel bad that DH and I purchased everything and received only gifts from our parents(mainly my mom) with DS.
OK people thanks for making me feel like a selfish piece of crap. I was simply asking a question, I am SO SORRY if you people assumed it was ok to be completely rude to me for asking it. I thought this was supposed to be a supporting community and not a place for you to go and be rude to others for asking questions. I am NOT a selfish person and I was planning on asking people to NOT bring gifts if I did have one. So I would just like to thank all the rude people on here for being total assholes to me, you really know how to make a person feel good on a new board.
People answer a specific way because:
1. It is tacky to want/ask for a second shower, especially if your children are close and same gender.
2. This question is asked almost daily.
You may not be selfish, but your rant does not help your argument. My advice is to not to take everything people say to heart, but they are trying to give you honest opinions that you asked for.
If I had a shower with my first, I would not expect a shower with my second or any other children. In fact, I don't even expect a shower this time. DH and I are very self-sufficient and like to do things ourselves. Only reason I would want a shower is to be with my friends and celebrate being mothers and bringing another child into this world.
I can't think that you would really need anything for the new baby, being two years apart and in the same seasons. So I vote no for 2nd shower. And you did ask for opinions so please don't be upset that we all aren't agreeing with you.
OK people thanks for making me feel like a selfish piece of crap. I was simply asking a question, I am SO SORRY if you people assumed it was ok to be completely rude to me for asking it. I thought this was supposed to be a supporting community and not a place for you to go and be rude to others for asking questions. I am NOT a selfish person and I was planning on asking people to NOT bring gifts if I did have one. So I would just like to thank all the rude people on here for being total assholes to me, you really know how to make a person feel good on a new board.
They like to be that way for some reason. I don't ask for opinions on here anymore because all you get are negative responses or people judging you. I on the other hand do not give my opinion if I even think it might sound rude because I know how it makes me feel when other do that to me. So, I think that having a get together without gifts would be good since your children aren't very far apart and are the same gender. Besides most people love buying baby stuff whether you want them to or not, I know I do, so you probably will get a few gifts still. I definatly would't ask someone to throw me a shower though. Don't let these ladies get you down, it doesn't help at all to stress about what strangers think especially if they have to be rude about it. In the end you do what you want.
I am not having a formal one with friends and family, but if this is a girl (LO#1 was a boy) then they will throw me one at work. Otherwise, I wouldn't have one. Only if the babies were 4 or 5 yrs apart.
I wasn't expecting one, but one of my oldest friends and her mom are planning one anyway. Honestly, I wasn't going to make a production of declining - if they want to do it I say why the hell not. It will be a smaller group. I'm not even going to ask that they put no gifts on the invite, even though we don't "need" much because to me that's just awkward and people don't listen in general anyway. I think the idea that you shouldn't celebrate another kid is kind of ridiculous.
If you haven't asked for one, and are being offerred one, that's different--but this OP is coming across pretty gift grabby (IMO) by expecting that she should have one--it's not been THAT long since her 1st one was born, so to expect another shower (Not sprinkle) so soon, is pretty tacky.
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I've had a shower for each of my boys. We are expecting #3 in Sept. and if it's a girl, we'll ask for girl stuff. There's nothing wrong with more then one shower. It's initially a celebration of a new life that's coming. Nobody said you had to bring a present.
Actually, the entire point of a shower is to "shower" the mother with gifts. So yea, a present is required.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
My mom has had more than one baby shower. Not a big deal. People just wanted to do it for her & it really helped because our family didn't have a lot of money at that time.
Exactly a lot of people don't have a lot of money to buy new things if the baby is a different gender or for any other reason. I think this is a decision for everyone to make on their own not what society or some rules of etiquette say!?! Who really uses etiquette everyday anyways? Noone I know.
the bolded actually makes me a little sick to my stomach, and fearful of the world my children will grow up in.
If a shower was to celebrate a birth, they would be held AFTER a child is born, not before. A shower is to welcome a mother into motherhood (or a bride into marriage), you don't get more than one.
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OK people thanks for making me feel like a selfish piece of crap. I was simply asking a question, I am SO SORRY if you people assumed it was ok to be completely rude to me for asking it. I thought this was supposed to be a supporting community and not a place for you to go and be rude to others for asking questions. I am NOT a selfish person and I was planning on asking people to NOT bring gifts if I did have one. So I would just like to thank all the rude people on here for being total assholes to me, you really know how to make a person feel good on a new board.
They like to be that way for some reason. I don't ask for opinions on here anymore because all you get are negative responses or people judging you. I on the other hand do not give my opinion if I even think it might sound rude because I know how it makes me feel when other do that to me. So, I think that having a get together without gifts would be good since your children aren't very far apart and are the same gender. Besides most people love buying baby stuff whether you want them to or not, I know I do, so you probably will get a few gifts still. I definatly would't ask someone to throw me a shower though. Don't let these ladies get you down, it doesn't help at all to stress about what strangers think especially if they have to be rude about it. In the end you do what you want.
Try your month board...this board is fiesty. I don't post much here either for that same reason!
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My mom has had more than one baby shower. Not a big deal. People just wanted to do it for her & it really helped because our family didn't have a lot of money at that time.
Exactly a lot of people don't have a lot of money to buy new things if the baby is a different gender or for any other reason. I think this is a decision for everyone to make on their own not what society or some rules of etiquette say!?! Who really uses etiquette everyday anyways? Noone I know.
Your poor planning (not being able to afford a second child) is not the world at large's responsibility to remedy.
Well I am a first time mom and you have no right telling anyone about their life! I was simply stating that some people arn't as fortunate and the world has nothing to do with one persons circle of friends or family who want to help out or provide gender specific gifts. Not everyone is the same duh!
i think it's pretty tacky, especially when they are so close in age and the same sex. and i think diaper showers/sprinkles are just as tacky. diapers are an absolute necessity and you shouldn't expect anyone else to get them for you. all that being said, i think a "meet the baby" or something after the baby is born is more appropriate for a 2nd/3rd child. i always get baby gifts for my close friends, whether it's their 1st or 4th, but having a shower each time is another thing. plus, to me, if money is tight, you can't afford a kid, i don't think that's anyone else's responsibility- unless you had some crazy unfortunate life experience. this is obviously a hot topic -- you pushed a button OP! no one can "make" you feel a certain way though.
My mom has had more than one baby shower. Not a big deal. People just wanted to do it for her & it really helped because our family didn't have a lot of money at that time.
Exactly a lot of people don't have a lot of money to buy new things if the baby is a different gender or for any other reason. I think this is a decision for everyone to make on their own not what society or some rules of etiquette say!?! Who really uses etiquette everyday anyways? Noone I know.
Your poor planning (not being able to afford a second child) is not the world at large's responsibility to remedy.
Well I am a first time mom and you have no right telling anyone about their life! I was simply stating that some people arn't as fortunate and the world has nothing to do with one persons circle of friends or family who want to help out or provide gender specific gifts. Not everyone is the same duh!
My point was that the financial situation of the parent shouldn't matter. Someone with less money shouldn't expect a shower because they don't have money to buy things themselves. A mother should ALWAYS expect to have to provide for her baby on her own or with her partner and should make plans to that effect. Being less fortunate doesn't entitle you to be rude and rely on other people to support your child by feeling entitled to a shower. That was my point.
My mom has had more than one baby shower. Not a big deal. People just wanted to do it for her & it really helped because our family didn't have a lot of money at that time.
Exactly a lot of people don't have a lot of money to buy new things if the baby is a different gender or for any other reason. I think this is a decision for everyone to make on their own not what society or some rules of etiquette say!?! Who really uses etiquette everyday anyways? Noone I know.
Your poor planning (not being able to afford a second child) is not the world at large's responsibility to remedy.
Well I am a first time mom and you have no right telling anyone about their life! I was simply stating that some people arn't as fortunate and the world has nothing to do with one persons circle of friends or family who want to help out or provide gender specific gifts. Not everyone is the same duh!
My point was that the financial situation of the parent shouldn't matter. Someone with less money shouldn't expect a shower because they don't have money to buy things themselves. A mother should ALWAYS expect to have to provide for her baby on her own or with her partner and should make plans to that effect. Being less fortunate doesn't entitle you to be rude and rely on other people to support your child by feeling entitled to a shower. That was my point.
Well obviously no one on here is "less fortunate" because you all apparently own computers and can afford to pay for the internet. If you need a shower to get things for your baby then try selling the computer and canceling your cable and internet. You can buy a pretty nice crib for the same price as a computer and the price for internet these days can buy a jumbo pack of diapers or more if you find coupons and hit the sales...
P.S. 2nd showers are a NO!
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I had a friend who had a very large shower for her first.
For her 2nd I gave her a VERY SMALL house party with less than 10 people and we gave her a few things.
Ten years later she found herself pregnant again. I threw her a very large shower in a restaurant. She had nothing saved because she didn't think she would have another one.
however 4 years later she got pregnant AGAIN!! now honestly this time I was thinking she needs to be on her own, this is nuts all these showers, but nope her family threw her a large shower at her sister in laws house.
I totally think it's ridiculous. If her family wanted to do something then only family should have been invited. I didn't go to her 4th one because I was dealing with depression from my miscarriage. Ultimately she screamed at me that I wasn't there for her.... so I didn't sit at a shower because I would have broke down and cried.. I think a little understand on her part should have been there. Needless to say we aren't speaking to each other.
The feeling I get with all these showers is that you either can't afford to take care of this baby, so you shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place. Or you are greedy.
There are MANY things that we don't have for this baby because we had borrowed stuff. I'm hoping to get my hands on some 2nd hand things again. People will give you gifts no matter what. If you feel like having a party then have a "meeting the baby" party after the baby is born and invite people to your home.
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I am not pregnant and do not have children (we're newlyweds), so take this with a grain of salt. I was always told it was not proper to have a second shower, and particularly if they were the same sex. People assume you can use the clothes from the first baby.
That being said, my cousin did have two boys about a year and a half between. For her second "shower" she had a diaper drop. She sent out cards that just said "Diaper drop for Sally Joe Smith" and it had the dates and times and she provided light refreshments and people just came by when they could. I personally wouldn't fool with it myself. The time and money wasted to feed everyone snacks and drinks and then give the church/facility a but of money for using their building...all for a pack of diapers that you may not even like (If you're a huggies mom then so be it, but some people want to buy Up and Up from Target or White Cloud from Wal-Mart, and then you're stuck with them).
Anyways, if you think a second shower or a diaper drop is a good idea then that's your business but for the most part, people look down on it and I don't think it's worth the hassle. Instead, I would send out birth announcements to close friends and family. If they feel like they want to do something special once the baby is here and they get a photo, then they can mail you back some money. If not, then they won't feel obligated and will just tuck the picture onto the fridge for a month or so.
Well i am having a second shower, but they are 5 years apart, different genders and different fathers. I wasnt expecting it, my mil and sil wanted to throw it. And i dont like the excuse of not being able to afford it all, if you cant then you shouldnt be having kids.
With them being the same gender and so close in age though, i wouldnt think that a traditional baby shower would be needed. I would throw a lunch or tea party to celebrate the baby, and i might even wait until after he is born to do that. If someone offers the details are between you two.
"The perfect marriage begins when each partner believes they got better than they deserve."
well i think if u want to have a second baby shower then do it but me im having my second baby boy and and im having a baby shower because i didnt have one with my first child but if i did i still would be having a baby shower
Considering people are buying things for the baby, why are they only invited to celebrate the first baby and not the second? I don't see a problem with it. Except for the type of people who invite people that they don't like just for gifts( DH has a cousin like that) she even invited over 100 people to a 1 year olds birthday!
I can't think that you would really need anything for the new baby, being two years apart and in the same seasons. So I vote no for 2nd shower.
I am due a little over a month after DS' birthday and I can honestly say that I do not NEED anything. We have everything from DS. If it's a girl we will buy new clothes while still using some of those DS went thru... but we do not need any gear.
Re: Do you have a baby shower for the 2nd child?
The point of a shower is to shower you with gifts. If you refuse the gifts, then its not a shower. So you really don't want a shower, you just want a party. SO have a party.
As usual, I agree with Gummybear. Go with what is customary in your area. However, NOT having a second shower does not mean you will love your 2nd (or any subsequent child after that) any less.
I know of a girl who THREW her own "sprinkle". And you can bet I didn't go and thought it was completely rude and selfish of her to have done it in the first place.
Your poor planning (not being able to afford a second child) is not the world at large's responsibility to remedy.
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In my family, we believe that each child should be celebrated equally. The first shower is the biggest one with all the presents, cause it's your first child. The second, third, etc. showers are really just a party with fun games and food. Presents are optional, but people bring them anyway. No need to register. The only time the second, third, etc. showers are required to have presents is when you are having a completely different gender baby. Like if you had a boy first, and now you're having a girl that would call for presents. Mostly clothes and blankets.
I've had a shower for each of my boys. We are expecting #3 in Sept. and if it's a girl, we'll ask for girl stuff. There's nothing wrong with more then one shower. It's initially a celebration of a new life that's coming. Nobody said you had to bring a present.
I've been to showers for second babies and thought they were fine, but I don't want one. I didn't even want the first, really. I wanted a co-ed BBQ, but someone offered to throw a shower, so of course I was appreciative and said yes.
I don't totally get the idea that they are rude or tacky, though. It may be that because in my circle of friends and family, no one buys each other big ticket items; really just clothes and books and little things. I see no reason that a second kid couldn't use some new clothes/books/toys, and I personally love buying that stuff for pregnant friends. I think most people do. I buy that stuff for my pregnant friends whether it is their first or second (no one I know has hit #3
and whether or not they are having a shower.
FWIW, in response to the idea that if you don't have one for the second baby, then you aren't celebrating the second baby as much...obviously that's not true. But I will say that with this one, I'm not as excited overall. I'm too busy with DS, and I"ve been through all this before. I'm so elated to be having this baby, but the excitement level is not there. I think this is a very common perspective, and I can see why someone who likes showers would want one for the second, to get some of that excitement going on.
Oh. My. God girl take a chill pill. You came on here and asked if we all though it was tacky or not and guess what?? It IS!! And we all said so. Just bc you don't like the answer we all gave you doesn't mean you need to flip out and call anyone an a-hole. No one was being rude about it they were just informing you that yes it is rude and tacky to ask/want/expect a 2nd baby shower.
I too think it is tacky. I don't think showers are to "celebrate the baby" as much as they are too prepare the mommy and daddy. If your kids are only a couple years apart, they will be using the same stroller, high chair, carseat etc. I would find it extremely tacky if I got an invite in the mail for a shower for someone that has a 1 or 2 year old already.
Having said that, if you truly want to "celebrate the baby", I think you should throw your own party. You can say no gifts ( even though people will probably still bring them). We may gave a small come meet the baby gathering after the baby is born and say, "no gifts."
I totally agree. I had no shower with my first child. My friends are talking about giving me a small shower for this child because we are supposedly expecting the girl this time. They also feel bad that DH and I purchased everything and received only gifts from our parents(mainly my mom) with DS.
People answer a specific way because:
1. It is tacky to want/ask for a second shower, especially if your children are close and same gender.
2. This question is asked almost daily.
You may not be selfish, but your rant does not help your argument. My advice is to not to take everything people say to heart, but they are trying to give you honest opinions that you asked for.
If I had a shower with my first, I would not expect a shower with my second or any other children. In fact, I don't even expect a shower this time. DH and I are very self-sufficient and like to do things ourselves. Only reason I would want a shower is to be with my friends and celebrate being mothers and bringing another child into this world.
I can't think that you would really need anything for the new baby, being two years apart and in the same seasons. So I vote no for 2nd shower. And you did ask for opinions so please don't be upset that we all aren't agreeing with you.
They like to be that way for some reason. I don't ask for opinions on here anymore because all you get are negative responses or people judging you. I on the other hand do not give my opinion if I even think it might sound rude because I know how it makes me feel when other do that to me. So, I think that having a get together without gifts would be good since your children aren't very far apart and are the same gender. Besides most people love buying baby stuff whether you want them to or not, I know I do, so you probably will get a few gifts still. I definatly would't ask someone to throw me a shower though. Don't let these ladies get you down, it doesn't help at all to stress about what strangers think especially if they have to be rude about it. In the end you do what you want.
If you haven't asked for one, and are being offerred one, that's different--but this OP is coming across pretty gift grabby (IMO) by expecting that she should have one--it's not been THAT long since her 1st one was born, so to expect another shower (Not sprinkle) so soon, is pretty tacky.
This.
Actually, the entire point of a shower is to "shower" the mother with gifts. So yea, a present is required.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
the bolded actually makes me a little sick to my stomach, and fearful of the world my children will grow up in.
If a shower was to celebrate a birth, they would be held AFTER a child is born, not before. A shower is to welcome a mother into motherhood (or a bride into marriage), you don't get more than one.
Emily 8.8.08
Madeline 1.2.11
William 8.5.12
Try your month board...this board is fiesty. I don't post much here either for that same reason!
Well I am a first time mom and you have no right telling anyone about their life! I was simply stating that some people arn't as fortunate and the world has nothing to do with one persons circle of friends or family who want to help out or provide gender specific gifts. Not everyone is the same duh!
My point was that the financial situation of the parent shouldn't matter. Someone with less money shouldn't expect a shower because they don't have money to buy things themselves. A mother should ALWAYS expect to have to provide for her baby on her own or with her partner and should make plans to that effect. Being less fortunate doesn't entitle you to be rude and rely on other people to support your child by feeling entitled to a shower. That was my point.
Well obviously no one on here is "less fortunate" because you all apparently own computers and can afford to pay for the internet. If you need a shower to get things for your baby then try selling the computer and canceling your cable and internet. You can buy a pretty nice crib for the same price as a computer and the price for internet these days can buy a jumbo pack of diapers or more if you find coupons and hit the sales...
P.S. 2nd showers are a NO!
I had a friend who had a very large shower for her first.
For her 2nd I gave her a VERY SMALL house party with less than 10 people and we gave her a few things.
Ten years later she found herself pregnant again. I threw her a very large shower in a restaurant. She had nothing saved because she didn't think she would have another one.
however 4 years later she got pregnant AGAIN!! now honestly this time I was thinking she needs to be on her own, this is nuts all these showers, but nope her family threw her a large shower at her sister in laws house.
I totally think it's ridiculous. If her family wanted to do something then only family should have been invited. I didn't go to her 4th one because I was dealing with depression from my miscarriage. Ultimately she screamed at me that I wasn't there for her.... so I didn't sit at a shower because I would have broke down and cried.. I think a little understand on her part should have been there. Needless to say we aren't speaking to each other.
The feeling I get with all these showers is that you either can't afford to take care of this baby, so you shouldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place. Or you are greedy.
There are MANY things that we don't have for this baby because we had borrowed stuff. I'm hoping to get my hands on some 2nd hand things again. People will give you gifts no matter what. If you feel like having a party then have a "meeting the baby" party after the baby is born and invite people to your home.
I am not pregnant and do not have children (we're newlyweds), so take this with a grain of salt.
I was always told it was not proper to have a second shower, and particularly if they were the same sex. People assume you can use the clothes from the first baby.
That being said, my cousin did have two boys about a year and a half between. For her second "shower" she had a diaper drop. She sent out cards that just said "Diaper drop for Sally Joe Smith" and it had the dates and times and she provided light refreshments and people just came by when they could. I personally wouldn't fool with it myself. The time and money wasted to feed everyone snacks and drinks and then give the church/facility a but of money for using their building...all for a pack of diapers that you may not even like (If you're a huggies mom then so be it, but some people want to buy Up and Up from Target or White Cloud from Wal-Mart, and then you're stuck with them).
Anyways, if you think a second shower or a diaper drop is a good idea then that's your business but for the most part, people look down on it and I don't think it's worth the hassle. Instead, I would send out birth announcements to close friends and family. If they feel like they want to do something special once the baby is here and they get a photo, then they can mail you back some money. If not, then they won't feel obligated and will just tuck the picture onto the fridge for a month or so.
No
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Well i am having a second shower, but they are 5 years apart, different genders and different fathers. I wasnt expecting it, my mil and sil wanted to throw it. And i dont like the excuse of not being able to afford it all, if you cant then you shouldnt be having kids.
With them being the same gender and so close in age though, i wouldnt think that a traditional baby shower would be needed. I would throw a lunch or tea party to celebrate the baby, and i might even wait until after he is born to do that. If someone offers the details are between you two.
Considering people are buying things for the baby, why are they only invited to celebrate the first baby and not the second? I don't see a problem with it. Except for the type of people who invite people that they don't like just for gifts( DH has a cousin like that) she even invited over 100 people to a 1 year olds birthday!
6W baby #2
I am due a little over a month after DS' birthday and I can honestly say that I do not NEED anything. We have everything from DS. If it's a girl we will buy new clothes while still using some of those DS went thru... but we do not need any gear.