- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
2nd Trimester
UCONNHuskies
member
annoyed right now (vent session)
UCONNHuskies
member
So my in laws really wanted to buy ou our nuresry furniture. It is VERY generous, and my hubby and I were grateful for this. The problem? My in laws were insistant we get a crib and a dresser. What's the problem? I have 2 lovely dressers that just need to be painted, and were part of my nurseyr/bedroom set as a kid, that we wanted to us. No matter how hard we tried, they would not budge.We decided to just get the short dresser, to use as a changing table, and then paint the taller one to match. Nope, that wasn't good enough either. they wanted us to buy the taller one. now we have to paint the shorter one we have, which makes me nervous that we won't be able to match them completely, and more importantly, I think it's too much furniture in the room! Am I being crazy??? I hate feeling like I'm not appreciative, but the point is it's our house, our baby, and yet my in laws want what they want. I still can't believe, either, how much they were willing (wanted really) to spend on this dresser, WHEN WE ALREADY HAVE TWO! Sorry, needed to vent.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: annoyed right now (vent session)
I think you need to be firm, right away. You and your DH should verbalize how grateful you are, but that you don't have enough room for all that furniture. Be clear that you will accept the crib and whatever other piece you want. Suggest a rocker, or something else for the nursery.
Good luck!
That would annoy me too. It's your house and your baby. Perhaps they think that, though they may still be very useful, the dresser's from your nursery are old and that it would be better to have all new stuff?? I like the PP suggestion that you suggest they buy you a rocker, or maybe some other items you will need: stroller, car seat, pnp, etc...
Good luck!
I have to add to your vent (s)!
When I was pregnant with DS (he is 3) MIL wanted to buy me something for the nursery. We bought our own furniture so that was done. I asked for a glider because I wanted one for breastfeeding. MIL is very picky and wouldn't go with any I was picking out. Here I was picking cheaper ones and she was looking at expensive ones. So, I have a cesarean, feel terrible, can't wait for a glider to relax in and she shows up with a freakin ugly WOODEN rocking chair she bought at a local furniture store for $500. I was livid and didn't hide it. I said that I thought she got a glider...that I would have bought my own glider because I needed to have one. She insisted that down the road we would be much happier with an heirloom...wtf? I said that my parents have one that I didn't want. So, I put it in our large foyer as an accent chair and every time she was over she would move it into our living room and comment how comfortable it was. A wooden-freakin chair. It is now upstairs in our spare room and I am looking into a glider for baby #2. Holy crap I forgot how annoying that was and still is that I have this chair that is not comfortable and not my style.
This. Plus, the money they are spending on the dresser could be used to buy something else that you NEED.
My in laws have an old crib they are giving me- which i am VERY thankful for. Most of my friends have kids- who are donating the gender appropriate clothing to me- also VERY thankful.
It's not my in laws...its MY parents. They did the same with my wedding too. They dont want to buy anything new- and i mean ANYTHING. Which bugs me just a little bit. My parents are just a little...how do i saw..better off then my in laws. They can afford to spend more. They choose not to. I have no problem with consignment shops and hand me downs....but somethings i think should just be bought new- this is my first child.
I guess i have the opposite problem.....
^ This. If they're gonna be that stubborn about trying to redecorate your house for you, who needs 'em. It's NOT their house, it's YOURS. You should be able to get what you want/need, and I think it's rather sweet that you're passing on your old furniture to your child.
I'd let them buy the dresser then put it in another room that needs a dresser.
Or can you take it back to the store, then give them some story about it missing a piece or something, and there were none left in stock? (Yes I'm devilish...)
Why not return the dresser they bought? SOmetimes its not worth the argument. If they ask where the tall dresser is tell them you were afraid it would fall on the baby - that ought to shut them up.
Then tell them thanks but no thanks. You're an adult and if their gift has that many strings, then it's not worth it. Buy your own crib and use the furniture you wanted to use. Seriously, why would you do anything else?
Too many people on this board are being ruled by their extended families. Family unit = you and DH. Make decisions for you and your family, communicate them in a respectful and loving way if asked and go on about your lives. I am amazed at some of the petty craziness that is going on between married adults and their inlaws around here.
They cannot force you to have anything in your house. Tell them if they would like to buy the crib, you would be grateful, but you already have a dresser that you want to use. If they continue to insist, just tell them you appreciate their generosity but that is how you want to do the nursery so you all will just get the crib yourselves.
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
I seriously don't get all the "accept it and return it" or "move it somewhere else" posts. Clearly that won't fly with these people. And again - THEY ARE ALL ADULTS. She needs to be honest, set boundaries in a loving (but firm) way and stick to them. It is utterly ridiculous that they feel it is ok to have this much say in something like this.
I really, strongly encourage you to buy your own crib. While I agree that you should pick your battles, I think this is one worth picking. The audacity it takes for one set of grown adults to attempt to dictate to another set of grown adults what kind of furniture they must have in their home is amazing.
My parents want to buy the crib, and my dad said "you need a changing table too". I said I know, we are using the dresser that is in the room already and painting it. He said " you can't just lay them on it"....I laughed and told him it would be ok....they make changing pads Pop. He dropped it. Point is: my parents and my DH's parents respect our decisions because they view us as adults. This has taken some time for mine more than his, but you really need to get there....this set-up you have going now is a train wreck waiting to happen when the baby comes.
Good luck!
ETA - my parents are they type that would like to buy all new furniture for the whole room, but they respect our desire to reduce our personal consumption of goods. I can tell sometimes they think we are crazy, and I am fine with that. I think they are crazy sometimes too
We are so thankful that our second daughter, Lillian Elizabeth "Lily", was born healthy and happy on February 11, 2013. We love her to pieces.
We lost our first daughter, Hannah Grace on May 4, 2011. She was buried on May 14 during a beautiful service at my home church. We are grateful that if she could not be here with us, that she is healed and whole with the Lord. We look forward to the day when we will get to meet her. We love her so much.
If you plan to have more children, it may be nice to have the extra furniture to use in the next kid's bedroom. Seems like everyone of so excited to help plan and buy things for the first baby and when #2 comes, those offers aren't there. Just a thought.
However, I would be super annoyed though that they are dictating what items they will purchase. If they are insisting on buying a dresser, at the very least, you should get to pick which one you want! The short dresser is so much more useful (as a changing table) especially if you were to decide theres not room for 2 dressers.