People looking for more things wrong with my baby

jessjo04 · April 2011

DS was born with six toes on each foot and a small extra finger on one hand. The finger had no bones and was barely attached so they removed it, but his feet still have six nearly perfectly formed toes. The doctors tell us its probably a fluke or that its genetic from one of our families. DH has consulted dr google (despite my protests) and is worried that six toes is a symptom of a bigger genetic syndrome. We will probably make an appt with a geneticist just to be sure, but until we can get an appt, he has been analyzing everything about DS. He hasnt been around babies much, so he doesnt know how babies are supposed to act. Hes worried that his one ear looks bigger than the other, he moves around too much, he makes 'strange noises', etc.

Today we drove a half hour to take the baby to MIL's office (she works at a eye doctor and DH needed to get his glasses adjusted). She was so excited to show off her grandson. After we got home, FIL called DH and said that MIL was freaking out that something is wrong with DS because he 'flailed his arms' after he ate. Of course he did, he was awake and still hungry, he wiggles around a lot.

The doctors think DS is fine, and I tend to agree. He eats well, poops and pees plenty, and at his 4 day checkup, he gained almost all his weight back. I dont know what to say anymore. I keep saying that hes fine, we can get him checked out, but neither DH nor MIL are doctors and I wish they would stop analyzing every movement and feature looking for something wrong. Our anatomy scan ruled out pretty much all the syndromes that they are finding on google (trisomy & Down Syndrome), but they still dont believe me. I'm getting so frustrated defending my baby.

GHBEA · April 2011

I'm sorry they are looking into this too much. If your Dr says he is good then they need to accept that. Hugs for you

AllysonKG · April 2011

I'm so sorry they're acting that way. It's terrible that you have to stick up for him to your closest family. I'm sure their intentions are good, but there's no point in stressing about it and over analyzing everything if you're going to see the doctor anyway. I'm sure he's going to be just fine and I'm glad they haven't sucked you into their anxiety about it.

MG7 · April 2011

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Your DH is probably just really nervous about being a new parent and also your LOs health. I could absolutely see my DH acting the exact same way- he over analyzes everything.

mayowife · April 2011

I'm sure you're super stressed out. I hope they let go of the topic for your sake. IMO seeing a geneticist would be a good idea. There's no need to freak out between now and then, but if you go you will have a solid answer and no one will be able to speculate.

In the meantime just focus on loving your LO. He's perfect just the way he is.

genaruthp · April 2011

*hugs*

I am sorry you are getting so much negative talk about your son. I hope that they can back off. I agree with other posters, maybe get DH in for an appointment with pedi or geneticist, so that you can calm his fears. And get him to stop making you upset.

Best wishes!

akating · April 2011

I am so sorry they are acting this way. If you have the strength I have a suggestion. Anytime they say something about being worried or concerned something Is wrong say to them "he must be faulty, we should bring him back and exchange him". As a mother it will be VERY hard to say something like this but trust me if you say it enough times they will stop saying those things to you. Hang in there. Your son is beautiful and he will be an amazing swimmer some day. Just because he is a little different doesn't mean he isn't perfect.

kim_and_tony · April 2011

Extra fingers and toes runs in my moms side of the family. My mom was born with extra fingers and her brothers with extra toes. They have no problems beyond just the extra digits. We did meet with a genetic counselor at our 12 wk scan and she said most of the time polydactyle is a fluke genetic mutation and doesn't cause any other problems. HTH!

APrice4UT · April 2011

That would bother me too. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this instead of celebrating your beautiful little boy!

jessjo04 · April 2011

Thanks guys. I'm trying not to let it worry me, but I don't blame DH for worrying. MIL calling FIL saying that something is wrong with my baby was just the last straw. I'm just thankful that all his other parts (heart, lungs, etc) are working well.

kaydogger · April 2011

My mom was the head NICU nurse of our local hospital and she told us we wouldn't believe how many babies who would come out with extra fingers and toes! All were totally healthy and "normal". If the doctor says he's fine, I'd tell everyone else to STFU.

ckolak:-) · April 2011

I'm sorry your family is being so annoying about things. Your baby is perfect just how he is, and if the doctors aren't worried then nobody else should be either!

shaindelr · April 2011

genaruthp:

*hugs*

I am sorry you are getting so much negative talk about your son. I hope that they can back off. I agree with other posters, maybe get DH in for an appointment with pedi or geneticist, so that you can calm his fears. And get him to stop making you upset.

Best wishes!

This, exactly... Hugs to you!

Mis+Shapes · April 2011

I am sorry you have to deal with this right now. I think you are doing the right thing by listening to guidance/medical advice your dr. MIL and FIL really should not be adding more stress to the situation. Take good care of yourself and really try to ignore others!

CatfishAnn · April 2011

I knew a guy in college who was polydactyl (born with extra digits), and he was completely normal otherwise. Well, he turned out to be two-timing his girlfriend, but I'm sure that was unrelated. Wink

Anyway, hang in there; I'm sure everyone will calm down eventually. I think it's natural to worry about every little thing with every new baby, and soon everyone will see that he's completely normal.

erika_sue · April 2011

Just another story from experience... My grandfather was born with six toes, and not only is he absolutely normal in every other way, but none of kids or grandkids, or great grandkids have had that issue.

sunflower8710 · April 2011

Hey! I am totally lurking from the September Board but I wanted to comment.

First- Congrats on your baby boy!

Second- I had a friend at summer camp, we were in the same program 3 years in a row. She was born with the exact same situation. They removed the little bit of skin/cartilage from her hands but she had the extra toes. It was not an issue for her whatsoever, except when buying shoes. She rode horses, swam competitively, and was really good at soccer. I hope that helps! Try not to listen to the comments, people may just be trying to help in a warped way.