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March 2011 Moms
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DH has become a help

veggybuggveggybugg member
in March 2011 Moms

At 3 weeks into mommyhood, I had the same emotional breakdown I keep seeing on here.   Jay wasn't helping at all with Annalise.  She wants held constantly so even though he was home from work, I'd still be balancing her while trying to do laundry and use the bathroom.  And since I am EBF, I am doing all the night shifts and crying fits. 

 I have started asking for specific help instead of waiting for him to volunteer.   It has changed everything.  Now he takes her for an hour or two between feedings in the evenings.  In the mornings he has been doing the first diaper change and entertaining her while i pack his lunch and grab breakfast.   I still have to ask him to do this, but I have realized he feels lost concerning her.  And being given specific tasks gives him confidence.

 

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Re: DH has become a help

  • elizabeth&jameselizabeth&james
    This is huge! Congrats! Early on I had a similar discovery, that asking for something specific produced results, but waiting for dh to read my mind produced frustration! We work much better as a team and I have learned to communicate w him about my needs instead of clamming up and being upset that he didn't guess what I needed.
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