? from a lurker: DC told me my son needs EI (LONG)

Mizz&Shizz · April 2011

Hi Ladies, I lurk here from time to time, my son was born at 36w2d, he is now 9 months old, 8 months adjusted.

I dropped him off at DC today (its a center, 4 kids in the newborn room right now, max of 7) and the director and the teacher came up to me with his 9 month progress report. They said that he is not progressing and that he needs EI.

Now granted, he is only there 2x/week, so they don't see as much as I do at home. I know there were a few things they said he didn't do that I know for a fact he does, but for the most part, I'm overwhelmed thinking that he is behind and I did something wrong or I'm not pushing him enough. I stopped reading all the baby books when he was a few weeks old because they kept saying when he should be doing things, and he was always 4 weeks behind and it was stressing me out, so I didn't read them and I let him do his own thing and try not to stress about it.

These are some things that they said he isn't "mastering", do you think this is normal for a former 36 weeker, now 8 months adjusted?: crawling, pulling up, taking turns while interacting, points to things he wants, using toys in a purposeful manner (?WTF?), finds hidden objects, engages in goal-directed behavior, imitates behaviors.

Some of these I find to be a little advanced for a kid of his age, but I have no idea, I'm just his mom and of course I'm biased. For other moms of 36 weekers, do you think he is behind if he isn't doing all these things? What was your LO doing at this age?

CLAYLIOVER · April 2011

I remember you from ttcal!! My girls were way way earlier so I am not much help. Just wanted to tell you am sure he is fine. Everything you named off seems completely on target for a baby his age. GL!

Mizz&Shizz · April 2011

CLAYLIOVER:
I remember you from ttcal!! My girls were way way earlier so I am not much help. Just wanted to tell you am sure he is fine. Everything you named off seems completely on target for a baby his age. GL!

Hey Clayli! I remember you too! Glad to see your girls are getting big!!!

I feel like he is probably fine too, but some of the comments they put on the sheet painted this picture like he is autistic, it didn't even seem like they were describing my child. I always get worried that I am missing something and that he is going to be behind because I didn't pick up on something.

mssaint · April 2011

I don't have any answers for you since my 36-weeker is only 13 weeks (9 adjusted), but I totally understand feeling stressed about milestones. LO is doing everything pretty much on track for his adjusted age, but it seems like the pedi is always saying "Hmmm" when I say he hasn't done something yet. It has stressed me out so much. I'm sure your LO is fine and you spend so much more time with this than his DC does! If you are concerned, check with his pedi. There are much worse things than doing EI.

Temp356619000002780 · April 2011

Wow I remember you from GP! I can't believe how old your baby is.. I'm no help, just saying hi!

Mizz&Shizz · April 2011

mari2003:
Wow I remember you from GP! I can't believe how old your baby is.. I'm no help, just saying hi!

Hey Mari!!! I remember you too! TWINS!!!!! Congrats Mama Big Smile

TriciaJoy · April 2011

That list is pretty advanced.

I don't think I would be concerned just based on that. However, I do give weight to the experience of daycare providers that I trust. If they feel something is off, it might be worth looking into. Particularly because he was early, he is more prone to delays. It might be worth at least a discussion with your pediatrician at your next appointment, and maybe a visit from EI for an evaluation.

Wally3 · April 2011

I think it is weird that they just said he needed EI. My son is in speech therapy and I talked to his pedi and then he was evaluted by Early Steps and when he qualified then he started recieving therapy. I would talk to your pedi about the DC concerns or find a place in your area that does evaluations. You can look on Easter Seals - they run Early Steps in my area. DS was 2 when he was evaluted and they just played with him - he had a good time. I wouldn't worry too much but it doesn't hurt to get another opinion.

mommyof4boys · April 2011

I didn't read other responses but an 8 month old isn't supposed to be crawling or pullng up. Taking turns isn't until older, pointing is much older, using toys purposefuly, etc. They need to take a hike! IF you are concernred have EI evaluated him. There's nothing wrong with a kid needing a bit of help. I have 3 premiees and all 3 need help. My twins (32 weekers) are in a 4 year old inclusion preschool and get speech, and OT as well as special education help. Matthew gets PT. Christopher (a 35 weeker) has a genetic syndrome called 16p11.2 duplication; he's autistic, intelectually disabled, apraxic, has abnormal brain formations, and enlarged optic nerves. He gets a lot of therapies. The twins are looking at getting tested for the same thing now. I thought their delays were a result of them being premiees but now I know they aren't.

kar5162 · April 2011

Those are definitely advanced skills for a 9 month old/8 months adjusted. I'd say crawling is a 7-11 month thing, pulling up 8-12, pointing 10-14, etc. A lot of those things are things DS was missing at his EI evaluation, but that was at 11 months and not all of them were worrisome at that point.

I would be slightly concerned if they think he's not progressing since that could (could, not does) indicate a delay. For example, if he's been sitting since 6 months, not starting to crawl at 9 might suggest there could be an issue. But it might not. It doesn't hurt to call EI to see what they think, but the list of things he's not doing right now don't sound to mean like they indicate any issues.

I do want to stress though, that even if he has delays, that doesn't in any way mean you are doing something wrong or aren't pushing him enough. Just playing with them and loving them is enough and is perfectly appropriate at his age. Delays happen for a huge variety of reasons, including prematurity, but even in FT kids.

msalinardi@live.com · April 2011

An EI evaluation can't hurt. It doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you LO because someone suggest you get an EI evaluation. Definetely talk to your pediatrician and see what they say.

lemen99 · April 2011

I think their expectations are too high if they expect an 8 month old (adjusted) baby to have mastered that list. There are plenty of full term 8 month olds that are not crawling, for example.

That said, I would think they would be cautious in pointing it out, so it doesn't hurt to do an eval. It's free and there's no commitment to do EI services.

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? from a lurker: DC told me my son needs EI (LONG)

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