1 and done-ers come in :)

CamilleJon · April 2011

I have been giving away some of Jack's newborn stuff to pregnant friends/family. But it really freakin' irritates me when they say things like: "I'll give it back when you have your next one" or "don't you want to save this for when you have your girl?".

Why am I suposed to have more kids?

Does it annoy you, too? Or am I just crazy?

Also, what are your "excuses" for not having/wanting more?

babyonthebrain2010 · April 2011

uuughhh we want to have more, but this stuff still bugs the crap out of me. it's nobody's business how many kids you want/have.. ESPECIALLY if you only want one. now if you wanted to have a dozen then I could see a few comments.. anyway when people say that stuff all you should have to say is, "I don't think we'll have anymore" and if people are questioning you GIVING them stuff say, "well if you don't want it I can give them to someone else." lol. PEOPLE!

CamilleJon · April 2011

babyonthebrain2010:
uuughhh we want to have more, but this stuff still bugs the crap out of me. it's nobody's business how many kids you want/have.. ESPECIALLY if you only want one. now if you wanted to have a dozen then I could see a few comments.. anyway when people say that stuff all you should have to say is, "I don't think we'll have anymore" and if people are questioning you GIVING them stuff say, "well if you don't want it I can give them to someone else." lol. PEOPLE!

I usually say "We're not having anymore."

And then people always ask why...

FI's family is huge. He has 8 aunts and uncles on his dad's side, and they all have at least 2 kids, but some have 4 and 5 kids. Nobody has just 1. It's like if you are able to have kids, then you should. They're all Catholic (not that there's anything wrong with that).

babyonthebrain2010 · April 2011

CamilleJon:
babyonthebrain2010:
uuughhh we want to have more, but this stuff still bugs the crap out of me. it's nobody's business how many kids you want/have.. ESPECIALLY if you only want one. now if you wanted to have a dozen then I could see a few comments.. anyway when people say that stuff all you should have to say is, "I don't think we'll have anymore" and if people are questioning you GIVING them stuff say, "well if you don't want it I can give them to someone else." lol. PEOPLE!
I usually say "We're not having anymore."
And then people always ask why...
FI's family is huge. He has 8 aunts and uncles on his dad's side, and they all have at least 2 kids, but some have 4 and 5 kids. Nobody has just 1. It's like if you are able to have kids, then you should. They're all Catholic (not that there's anything wrong with that).

just say something like, "we're so busy and we like being able to focus all of our attention on LO." or you can be a smart ass and say, "well it's just not as much fun as we thought it would be." hehehe

CamilleJon · April 2011

babyonthebrain2010:
CamilleJon:
babyonthebrain2010:
uuughhh we want to have more, but this stuff still bugs the crap out of me. it's nobody's business how many kids you want/have.. ESPECIALLY if you only want one. now if you wanted to have a dozen then I could see a few comments.. anyway when people say that stuff all you should have to say is, "I don't think we'll have anymore" and if people are questioning you GIVING them stuff say, "well if you don't want it I can give them to someone else." lol. PEOPLE!
I usually say "We're not having anymore."
And then people always ask why...
FI's family is huge. He has 8 aunts and uncles on his dad's side, and they all have at least 2 kids, but some have 4 and 5 kids. Nobody has just 1. It's like if you are able to have kids, then you should. They're all Catholic (not that there's anything wrong with that).
just say something like, "we're so busy and we like being able to focus all of our attention on LO." or you can be a smart ass and say, "well it's just not as much fun as we thought it would be." hehehe

Good idea. That's what I'll use

xxbabycakesxx · April 2011

i get annoyed when i tell people we're not sure if we'll have more and they give me the wide eyed look (im on google chrome so i cant make the emoticon but you know what im talking about lol). its like i just told them i was a monkey. can people not just have one kid anymore?

eta- not sure if we'll have more cause of financial reasons. and we'd need a bigger house.

CamilleJon · April 2011

xxbabycakesxx:
i get annoyed when i tell people we're not sure if we'll have more and they give me the wide eyed look (im on google chrome so i cant make the emoticon but you know what im talking about lol). its like i just told them i was a monkey. can people not just have one kid anymore?
eta- not sure if we'll have more cause of financial reasons. and we'd need a bigger house.

To me, having a million kids is more old fashioned... ya know, so they can help on the farm or whatever.... and nowadays, since the world is completely overpopulated as it is, people are opting to have less (or none at all).

So I would think people would be more open to the idea of it. Idk.

klinky · April 2011

I would say "no, you don't have to worry about giving them back, you can have them"

Our reasons - DH is 49. Yes I know that men can have children much later than women, but would you really want to? He never wanted kids in the first place. 1 is our compromise.

I never want to be "that woman" in the grocery store with hair frazzled, bags under her eyes and children running amock. I like that I have a little mini-me to hang out with and that's good enough for me. I feel like with 1 kid, I have the situation under control, but another one would add chaos to our life and I like things organized and just the way they are TYVM.

In all honesty (please don't flame, I know that everyone is different and everyone can do whatever they want) but I just don't see how more kids = happier life.

I like that we can dedicate all of our resources ($$ and time) to DD. I never have to worry about spreading myself too thin, not being able to afford things for her or not having the time for her.

Lastly, we just bought a kickasss new house, and it only has 2 bedrooms on the main floor. I'm not comfortable putting a child in one of the spare bedrooms in the basement. Shallow? absolutely.

cme79 · April 2011

xxbabycakesxx:

eta- not sure if we'll have more cause of financial reasons. and we'd need a bigger house.

Yes This. We would love to have another one but we don't want to have to make major sacrifices to do it. Daycare is so-ooo expensive.

ReneeDear · April 2011

Financial reasons. It is incredibly expensive to live in the city but I feel that the lifestyle is healthier. We walk every where. There are a bunch of great parks around. There are tons of festivals and events put on in the community. I we had more kids we would have to move to the suburbs. I don't want to live my life driving 50 km per day just to run errands, take the kids to school and go to work.

LovesMM · April 2011

I'm a sarcastic biitch so I usually follow up with, "We didn't even want her but we are kinds stuck now. So why would I willingly have another that I don't want?"

That usually shuts anyone up.

Cheekers2010 · April 2011

CamilleJon:
I have been giving away some of Jack's newborn stuff to pregnant friends/family. But it really freakin' irritates me when they say things like: "I'll give it back when you have your next one" or "don't you want to save this for when you have your girl?".
Why am I suposed to have more kids?
Does it annoy you, too? Or am I just crazy?
Also, what are your "excuses" for not having/wanting more?

I'm a former no children at all and thought I'd be a one and done. Also, I've been married for 13 years. You better believe I've faced these questions! Ugh! People need to mind their own business.

canthardlywait426 · April 2011

I've gotten it a few times and I've said "I was lucky to get the one I have, so yeah.." and then sometimes I get "but he neeeeeeeds a sibling!" and I say "no, he doesn't. He can have friends. his father is an only child and he turned out just fine".

TBLilyRose · April 2011

You could just say something about how you don't mess with perfection!

I think I'd be super content to be 1 and done but I really do want DS to have a sibling. So I'm thinking we will be "2 and we're through." Hopefully that will keep nosy people at bay. I know some people are just curious but I don't get why they pry and think it's their business. Sorry you're already dealing with that!

janneann1127 · April 2011

i would just say, "we can't have any more." then they'll feel bad they even asked. but i'm mean like that...

Charityford · April 2011

Daycare is breaking us. I'm puzzled at how people pay for more than one kid! We always just say "Its a good thing we like him, cuz we can't afford a replacement!"

CamilleJon · April 2011

LovesMM:
I'm a sarcastic biitch so I usually follow up with, "We didn't even want her but we are kinds stuck now. So why would I willingly have another that I don't want?"
That usually shuts anyone up.

I bet it does

CamilleJon · April 2011

janneann1127:
i would just say, "we can't have any more." then they'll feel bad they even asked. but i'm mean like that...

Yes

smithpaint · April 2011

klinky:

I would say "no, you don't have to worry about giving them back, you can have them"

Our reasons - DH is 49. Yes I know that men can have children much later than women, but would you really want to? He never wanted kids in the first place. 1 is our compromise.

I never want to be "that woman" in the grocery store with hair frazzled, bags under her eyes and children running amock. I like that I have a little mini-me to hang out with and that's good enough for me. I feel like with 1 kid, I have the situation under control, but another one would add chaos to our life and I like things organized and just the way they are TYVM.

In all honesty (please don't flame, I know that everyone is different and everyone can do whatever they want) but I just don't see how more kids = happier life.

I like that we can dedicate all of our resources ($$ and time) to DD. I never have to worry about spreading myself too thin, not being able to afford things for her or not having the time for her.

Lastly, we just bought a kickasss new house, and it only has 2 bedrooms on the main floor. I'm not comfortable putting a child in one of the spare bedrooms in the basement. Shallow? absolutely.

Hey - Did you see me in the grocery store - you know the exhausted looking woman with five kids running amock! I definitely don't like when people try to tell us how to run our lives. If you only want one kid that's your choice. I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum and had 5. After 3 people always said to me - "You're done, right?" I have been told numerous times that my husband and I must be rabbits and also have been given the explanation of where babies come from as well! People just like to give their opinions even when they're not asked for - like I'm doing right now (as I'm not a one and done-er)!

shaw · April 2011

We are a bit older...mid thirties! We tried forever to get pregnant and thought it wouldn't happen. We traveled...went out on the weekends...and tried every trendy restaurant on a whim :O) Then I got pregnant...had a bear of a pregnancy, developed high BP and issues with my blood!? When people ask me if I am having another one. I just say NO WAY this is hard! It's harder than I thought and quite an adjustment. I love LO more than life itself....but this mommy thing...has been a HuGE adjustment. I am just totally honest. If I found out I was pregnant...I might throw myself out of a 7th story window ;o)

klinky · April 2011

smithpaint:
klinky:

I would say "no, you don't have to worry about giving them back, you can have them"

Our reasons - DH is 49. Yes I know that men can have children much later than women, but would you really want to? He never wanted kids in the first place. 1 is our compromise.

I never want to be "that woman" in the grocery store with hair frazzled, bags under her eyes and children running amock. I like that I have a little mini-me to hang out with and that's good enough for me. I feel like with 1 kid, I have the situation under control, but another one would add chaos to our life and I like things organized and just the way they are TYVM.

In all honesty (please don't flame, I know that everyone is different and everyone can do whatever they want) but I just don't see how more kids = happier life.

I like that we can dedicate all of our resources ($$ and time) to DD. I never have to worry about spreading myself too thin, not being able to afford things for her or not having the time for her.

Lastly, we just bought a kickasss new house, and it only has 2 bedrooms on the main floor. I'm not comfortable putting a child in one of the spare bedrooms in the basement. Shallow? absolutely.

Hey - Did you see me in the grocery store - you know the exhausted looking woman with five kids running amock! I definitely don't like when people try to tell us how to run our lives. If you only want one kid that's your choice. I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum and had 5. After 3 people always said to me - "You're done, right?" I have been told numerous times that my husband and I must be rabbits and also have been given the explanation of where babies come from as well! People just like to give their opinions even when they're not asked for - like I'm doing right now (as I'm not a one and done-er)!

I always say that if you have lots of kids (my aunt has 6) that you either need to be extremely easy going or run a tight ship. lol. I am neither. You go girl!

Charityford · May 2011

Testing out siggy and pic. Don't think it's working....

Charityford · May 2011

How about now?

Moonbeam828 · June 2011

I usually say "we're happy with our family just as it is now". I get that it's a natural question, and I try not to get offended. Most of the time people stop there, but some push and demand to know specifics. That's when, depending on my mood, I'll say "we'll have another if you pay for it" or "we can't have any more" (that one makes them feel really bad, haha).

MamaPajama2010 · June 2011

Charityford:
Testing out siggy and pic. Don't think it's working....

Hmm Please test some where else! For that matter, you don't have to test at all-- just look at your past posts! Most people have their posts in order of last post date, not original post date (scroll to the bottom of your screen to see what I'm talking about), and doing this brings up the conversation and is super super annoying. I'm not trying to be mean... just informative.

JulietL129 · June 2011

Those questions are annoying. My MiL harped on it for weeks after L was born and finally I said, "what isn't he good enough for you?" she hasn't said it since, lol! It's just annoying to me that people pry about stuff like that. But then people pry about a lot of stuff that has no bearing on them, so I'm never surprised, haha!

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