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Parenting Situation WWYD??

MissLauraQMissLauraQ
in Washington Babies

Hey - what would you do in my situation.

We moved to a new house in an extremely kid friendly neighborhood.  We love all the neighbors on our street - all the parents are our age with kids our kid's ages!  We block off the street and let the kids play and have BBQs - all great.

We have Three backyard neighbors.  One good, one so so but nice, and the third - well...

They have four kids.  A 9 nine year old that has pretty severe mental delays and he just screams, a 7 year old boy, a 5 year old girl, and a 7 month old baby.   OH And the mom Homeschools the kids!! Toss in that the dad is like super grumpy (in the sense of he hateshis life) and actually flies out of town on business alot.  I've met all the kids and the mom and dad.  Actually I had to go  to their house to introduce myself. She seemed nice-ish (got a story there) but frazzled.  Totally understandable.

But the problem lies with the 5 year old little girl (sometimes the 7 year old boy)  They semi climb a tree and sit on the dividing fence - which doesn't look strong - and yell at our kids to visit them.

But the 5 year girl is crazy super bossy and rude. She will yell at Willow "Come over here, Missy!"  And then Willow wants to play with her and she says "Whatever" and leaves.  Then Willow is confused and comes back to the house only to have the girl climb up and scream again "You come over here right now!"

It's a total power play - and we are kind of sick of this little girls bad manners and really are quite mad when she calls Willow "Missy".  We only are assuming she's acting like her mother.

We've said to her nicely "Her name is Willow" and she'll say - "I know that"

Either way we don't like the behaviour and Rod is now getting at the end of his rope, and starting to "parent" them and reprimand them.

I think if we reprimand too much it will get back to their parents and we'll have a feud.

I told him I'd talk to the mom, but I'm kind of worried how she'll take it.

What would you do?

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Re: Parenting Situation WWYD??

  • Alli923Alli923

    My guess is, if she has 3 siblings, 1 of which has special needs and 1 that is a baby, and a Dad who isn't around much, then she's probably looking for some extra attention that she isn't getting at home.

    I think you have 2 options:

    1) Ignore her! She's 5 years old.  I assume you are outside with Willow when she goes out to play, if the neighbor girl starts her bossing, just go inside. She knows that you, Rod, and Willow respond when she shouts at you, that's exactly what she is looking for.

    2) Invite her over to play with Willow at your house/yard. I bet she'd love to come over to your yard and play and if you monitor them then you can tell her what the rules are for your house. It'll give her mom a break, the little girl can play for a bit and you won't have a feud. If she says no, then go inside or somewhere else to play with Willow.

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  • MaddimomMaddimom
    I would try and ignore her. 
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  • Seattle_JiLLnSeattle_JiLLn

    I don't know what you could really say to the mother.  Is she out in the yard when this happens?  If so, maybe you could very loudly say "please stop teasing her - she is 2 years old and doesn't understand.  If you'd like to come over and play you can ask your mother and come on over, but we will use nice manners here"

    I can't imagine going to the mother and saying "your kid is a brat can you throttle her please"  :)  I think you'd just need to find a way to mention it if you are in her presence while it happens.

    In the meantime, if she is shouting over the wall to your child, I think you have every right to tell her to stop.  If it gets back to the parents and they have an issue, then you can discuss it further.  

    This family sounds exhausting.  I can't imagine being the mother in that scenario.  I'd send my kids to school though just to get a break!   Is the older child getting any therapy or help at all?  I would hope he's not just being neglected. 

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  • JRS72206JRS72206
    imageAlli923:

    My guess is, if she has 3 siblings, 1 of which has special needs and 1 that is a baby, and a Dad who isn't around much, then she's probably looking for some extra attention that she isn't getting at home.

    I think you have 2 options:

    1) Ignore her! She's 5 years old.  I assume you are outside with Willow when she goes out to play, if the neighbor girl starts her bossing, just go inside. She knows that you, Rod, and Willow respond when she shouts at you, that's exactly what she is looking for.

    2) Invite her over to play with Willow at your house/yard. I bet she'd love to come over to your yard and play and if you monitor them then you can tell her what the rules are for your house. It'll give her mom a break, the little girl can play for a bit and you won't have a feud. If she says no, then go inside or somewhere else to play with Willow.

     

    I like #2. If that doesn't work head back to #1. If THAT doesn't work...talk to her mom.  GL.

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  • WatchPotWatchPot
    imageAlli923:

    My guess is, if she has 3 siblings, 1 of which has special needs and 1 that is a baby, and a Dad who isn't around much, then she's probably looking for some extra attention that she isn't getting at home.

    2) Invite her over to play with Willow at your house/yard. I bet she'd love to come over to your yard and play and if you monitor them then you can tell her what the rules are for your house. It'll give her mom a break, the little girl can play for a bit and you won't have a feud. If she says no, then go inside or somewhere else to play with Willow.

    I would do this and if you need to talk to her mom I would say something like this:

    Since Willow is much younger I feel more comfortable with her playing under my supervision.  if your daughter wants to play with her please give me a call or text me and if we are free I'd be happy to have her over, but  Willow gets upset when she is called over and then no one there wants to play with her.  Maybe when she turns 4 I'll feel more comfortable with this arrangement but until then we'd prefer to have her in our yard. 

    Good neighbors are so awesome and bad ones can ruin a house!

    BIG Brother born 10/19/07 little Brother born 1/31/12
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