Epidural for men - Not a post for the faint of heart.

mybobofo · April 2011

So, yesterday I posted here that I was nervous about the epidural because of all the potential side-effects. I also asked on Facebook if my buds have had epidruals or went natural. Well, one of my male friends said that he couldn't really comment, but good luck with all that. Lol.

Here's what I wrote back to him:

You CAN weigh in on the epidural vs. natural birth. Lemme lay it down for ya.

Imagine that you are carrying a lemon in your abdomen. You know that you have to pee out the lemon. You have had months and months to prepare for peeing out this lemon. Peeing out the lemon will be hard work, BUT every man that has come before you has also peed out a lemon at one point or another.

Now. You have two options.

1) No drugs: This is the natural way to pee out a lemon. It will make its way down your urethra over the course of 12 hours or so and at the end you will just man up and piss the f^#&er out. You know that you CAN do it because this is how it has been done for like 6,000 years.
*note: the side effects for this method are very few. you will fully recover and your penis will go back to normal.

2) Drugs: You will start peeing out the lemon and go through the pain for 8-10 hours before they give you anything. The meds they give you will numb you from the waist down, but you will still know that you are peeing out the lemon.
*note: Although most people who choose this method are fine, the side effects for this method are plentiful. The following is a list of side-effects:

a. There is a distinct possibility that if you are unable to feel your wiener you will not be able to push the lemon out. In this case, the doc will go in with large tongs (bigger than the lemon) and pull it out for you or use a vacuum to suck it out. Not terrible for you, but not great for the lemon. Could increase your recovery time.

b. Getting the drugs could prolong the amount of time spent peeing out the lemon. This could leave you in pain for longer and the drugs may wear off and you will still have to feel the lemon coming out after all.

c. You may have a severe drop in blood pressure and they may have to cut the lemon out. As with all surgeries, most of the time there are few if any complications other than prolonged recovery. BUT there is a slight chance that they will cut your penis off and it will never grow back.

What say you?

NJMom050911 · April 2011

LOL Awesome

Lilyzmom · April 2011

I LOVE LOVE LOVE it, I will definately be sharing this one woth DH. He totally supports my natural birth preference, but I don't think he quite understands it, what a way to put it into perspective. Thanks for sharing!! LMBO!

pandi02a · April 2011

....And what did he choose?

mybobofo · April 2011

Still waiting to hear back. I'm thinking he will be in the same boat as me - keep it in as loooooooong as humanly possible! Just put it off and try not to think about it, lol.