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D.C. Area Babies
Am I the only one that doesn't actually like b-day parties?
Disclaimer: This is not to snark on Tracy's vent below, because I totally understand why she would be bummed and I know she puts a great deal of thought and effort in to her girls' parties (and yet, they're not over the top, which is a fine balance and kudos to her for achieving it!).
That being said, I'm kind of dreading this year's round of b'day parties. I am lucky to have many friends with kids around C's age and I am exhausted just thinking about the number of weekend days and the amount of money we are going to spend on small children's parties this year. And next year. And the year after that.
We are already experiencing this with two of our nephews - B&SIL have a party for them every single year and I've come to dread it. I don't enjoy standing around eating pizza and drinking Sprite while children scramble to open a present, don't acknowledge the receiver, toss it aside and scramble to open the next one.
When we were kids, our parents acknowledged our birthdays, but I don't remember anyone having a real party every single year. Sure, there were special parties for special years (I remember an awesome sleepover with NKOTB blaring while we decorated white t-shirts with puffy paint for my 10th bday), but generally it was a nice dinner with just immediate family. Not a moonbounce princess-themed jamboree when you turn 4. We're invited to one of those this weekend. Joy.
I love my friends. I love their kids. I do not enjoy children's bday parties.
The DC Nest. Winers welcome.
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Re: Am I the only one that doesn't actually like b-day parties?
I enjoy kids bday parties, but maybe that's because I only have a few friends with small kids, so I only attend 2-3 a year. With that said, we will probably have a small party for Michael for his 1st birthday, but I have no idea if we'll continue to have one every year.
I remember having a birthday party every year starting when I was in grade school and I had my own friends to invite. But they were small parties (no more than 10 kids) and we just did pizza, cake, simple games, and presents. No themes. No goodie bags. No moonbounce. And by that time, the kids were old enough to be dropped off for the party and the parents didn't have to stay the entire time. I don't remember any of my birthdays prior to age 5 or so. I don't know if my parents didn't throw a party or if I just don't remember them.
We always did parties when I was a kid (Putt-Putt, Little Caesar's, roller skating, etc.), but I think they were probably a little more low-key than here and definitely smaller. I was in a class of 10-18 in elementary school, with no orther friends or family involved, so it was probably easier for my parents to plan. Plus, I don't think I had parties involving people outside my immediate family (parents, grandparents, maybe my aunt & uncle) until I was at least in Kindergarten.
I don't really want to throw a whole lot of energy into T's birthday parties until she's old enough to remember them, but we'll see how much "keeping up with the Joneses" I feel obliged to partake in once she gets into preschool... I have only been invited to about two kids' parties in the last five years, so I guess I should be thankful
I'm cool with first birthday parties, but after that I agree - they should just be small family things until kids hit kindergarten. Luckily, only 3 of our friends with kids still live in the area, so we don't have a lot of parties to attend.
But this is making me rethink inviting our kid-less friends! They say they want to come, but . . .
TTC #2: BFP 12/17/11, m/c 1/7/12 and D&C 1/12/12
baby blog/cooking blog
I should probably note that I think 1st bdays get a pass. They're special.
Maybe my problem is quantity. We've been invited to three so far this year with perhaps another six to go (and some of those parties are for multiple kids). I love having friends with kids and I love parties, but yet I do not love kids parties.
DH and I have already had discussions about this and unless C specifically requests a party, we're generally going to do something together as just as family. Like take a day off to go to an amusement park or something.
I don't think you have to have the moon bounce and tons of kids to have a party. But you should celebrate somehow. We have a very small family so I plan to invite friends and kids to our kids' parties. That's all part of being a kid! I don't spend a lot of time or $$ on it and I don't do goodie bags but I didn't have a lot of parties growing up and I want my kids to have a fun b-day with cake every year (unless they don't want to!).
I work F/T and DS is not in daycare so my kids don't get to interact w/ other kids that much (well, DD does at DC), planning playdates is so hard. DS has never had a playdate and he's 10mo old! So I don't mind going b/c the kids have fun and are around other kids.
That's a great idea. A lot of my annoyance is with the gift aspect.
I don't actually mind going to them (yet..lol!), but for all the reasons you mentioned and more, we probably won't be doing big parties until Warner gets to kindergarten. (ETA: 10 kids seems like a huge party to me!! lol...I guess it's all about perspective :-) )
Other people can do whatever they want, but I know that my sister has spent incredible amounts of money every year on parties for my niece and she definitely doesn't remember any of them before age 5. I'd rather save the money and the effort until they are older and can actually remember and (somewhat) appreciate it.
And that's not to say that my son's birthday goes unnoticed at all. But I think a few family members and a home made cake are plenty good enough :-)
I do want to say, though, that I think it's totally fine to "go all out" for every birthday your kid has if you want to. My brother has one kid, and he and his wife always have some kind of splashy thing, often not at their house. They have the money to do it, they don't act like they're better than anyone else, and I think it's sweet. My niece is no worse for wear (she doesn't act spoiled or anything). Does she remember each and every moment of every party? Probably not. She's nine now. Maybe she does, I don't know.
I was reading on the MM board a post about kids' birthday parties and how ridiculous it is to spend a lot of money on them (well, OK, it was the MM board, so people are going express opinions about $$ obviously), but I just don't get where all the judgy-ness comes from. Good grief if a parents wants to drop cash on their kid for their birthday, who cares. I lump it in with the "why do parents have to judge each other so harshly?" category.
Sorry to hijack. I'm obviously feeling very defensive of my brother.
I definitely see what you are saying...and I think that like most things, it all depends on how you parent the other 364 days of the year.
If people can afford it and make sure that their kids know how fortunate they are, I really have no issue with it.
But I think that having super lavish birthday parties every single year has the potential to set them up for expecting something bigger and better every year and by the time they are 16 you have the brats on that MTV show My Super Sweet 16 who all seem to need a major assbeating ;-)
Ha! Yeah, pretty much that. One of the nephews I mention above is only 6 and just acts so entitled at Christmas and his birthday. Kids will be kids and all that, but I still feel like he expects the biggest best thing from everyone every year and looks pointedly dejected when he doesn't love the gift.
I also feel like the extravagant parties foster a weird sense of competition amongst parents. Of course, one could say all you have to do is ignore it but at a certain point kids start paying attention to what other people have and it would get hard to explain why every year Sally has a party with trained monkey butlers and jugglers and fire-breathing pandas and you just took your kid to the Mickey D's playroom.
I'm telling you - I'm going to stop complaining about not having friends with kids - if you don't know any other parents, there is no competition!
Lol at My Super Sweet Sixteen. The families on that show do all seem a little cuckoo.
I like B-day parties. Growing up, we had a small birthday party every year (at home) where we invited family and some family friends. A few years, I got to do something "special" with my school friends - once we went to Chi-Chis and the mall (12th birthday), I had a few sleepovers, and probably some other stuff I don't remember.
I like throwing the party - baking a cute cake (I was so proud of DD's cake this year!), buying a few decorations, having people over, etc. I haven't done one at a "place" yet...
We haven't been invited to too many... but, I enjoy the opportunity to get out to see friends.
I hope our friends realize that we really don't care about the presents, and that they really DO NOT have to bring one. I was actually annoyed with one birthday party we were invited to recently where they requested food donations for a church food bank. I mean, a birthday is a birthday.... I don't want to give a 2 year old a bag of freakin' mac and cheese and canned goods.
I've gotten better over time with kid's parties. It doesn't help that my son is already more popular than I EVER was.
We are invited to parties all the time - between family, friends, school, etc. and while we have to balance out how much stimulation he can take - he loves all the activities.
And anything that tires him out, makes me a happy mom.
word.
the year niece turned eight, we got to her party and she walked up to me all sassy and said "Aunt Becca, today is ALL about ME!"...I wanted to vomit. And that was before she got so many presents that she actually got bored and asked if she could finish opening them later.
(having trouble quoting) Of course, one could say all you have to do is ignore it but at a certain point kids start paying attention to what other people have and it would get hard to explain why every year Sally has a party with trained monkey butlers and jugglers and fire-breathing pandas and you just took your kid to the Mickey D's playroom.
LMAO!!!! I don't like kid's birthday parties either. I don't like that it takes up my free time on the weekends. I don't like that they always seem to fall during DS' nap so then he doesn't get a nap. I don't like making small talk and chit-chat with other parents that I don't know. I will say, it has gotten a little more bearable now that we have kids. I absolutely LOATHED being invited to friend's kids birthday parties when we didn't have any kids. Miserable! And yes, of course I would tell my friend I wanted to be there;)
can i just throw out there that we are the last remaining couple in a crew of friends without kids and i will say it stings a bit when the whole group got invites to one kid's birthday party (this was cake and punch at a house, not a gymboree or specific kid-centric event but a party that included other adults.) with their children but we were left out. we don't get to see our friends with kids every often (or their kids that for that matter) so, it might just be me, but any excuse to hang out and celebrate is a good one. i am probably in the minority, and i also don't have invitations for 10 different kids parties either. i can totally see why some kid-less folks wouldn't be invited or wouldn't WANT to be invited....but just don't write friends off if they don't have kids.
my sister did spend every weekend in february and march at some sort of day-care friend birthday party with my niece that just sounded like a lot of time to dedicate to other kids parties.
Awww, thanks. That is what I shoot for - nice but not expensive or over the top.
Truthfully this is a big reason I don't invite our casual acquaintances with kids. There are a few families we have done playdates with but not consistent or a lot due to both of our busy schedules. I don't want them to feel obligated to buy a present when my kids have more than enough. I don't want them to have to drive 45min or more just for MY kid's party.
In our case we do not live near family. Birthdays parties and one or two holidays a year are all we get to see them. For us it is a time to hang out all weekend with family and there is just a party thrown in there at some point. Everyone (except my dad and stepmom who live in DE and need to get back to their dogs) stays the night at our house so I have the added bonus of feeding them all weekend and coming up with good dinners and breakfast in addition to hosting the party itself where some local adult friends also come for alcohol and decent food and conversation.
I have to admit I do not look forward to the party merry go round once we hit preschool or kindergarten. Where you are spending way too much money on presents and gift cards for 20 other kids and that is taking up every other freaking weekend of your life.
LOL!! I'm glad I wasn't drinking coffee yet, because it would be all over my screen :P
I kind of want to have this party now. I'll invite you & T, but no gifts.
Invite all of us Nesties to your party. We'll bring wine as C's present.
It will be fun. I promise.
This is brilliant.
I was going to mention that all the b-day parties we go to, the kids don't open their gifts AT the party. So you skip all the gift drama.