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November 2011 Moms
VENT: MIL has lost all privileges...
When we first got our BFP, the first people we told were our parents. We just were too excited. We emphasized to them how extremely important it was to us that they not tell anyone else.
Fast forward to last night...we told the ILs that we're going to share the news on Easter. MIL's response "Well, I think everyone there already knows."
WHAT?!! She went on to say that she told DH's aunt, grandmother and then she thought that his grandfather "already knew". (Grandmother and grandfather are divorced..there is NO way he knew, unless he is psychic...)
I was sooo pissed. In my heart, I'm mad at myself because I should have known she's a blabber mouth. But, what really upsets me is that she's robbed us (DH really) of the experience of telling the grandparents that they are going to be great-grandparents. I have no grandparents on my side, and we were looking forward to their reactions...and that's an experience we probably will not get the chance to have again. 
I told DH we are NOT telling her early if/when we get to have a #2. And, I'm sure it's really going to piss her off when she finds out that I want my mom to be with us in the delivery room, but not her. OH WELL!
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Re: VENT: MIL has lost all privileges...
Ugh, I am so sorry. You are so very right to say she has lost all priviledges. That's just so wrong. Even my MIL who I have issues with at times knew better than to share our news. We had to tell her 60 gazillion times it was ours to share, but she did stay quiet. Seeing people's reactions is just so special. I'd be furious.
This is why we're not telling MIL until we're ready to tell the world. She cannot keep a secret. So she'll basically know right before I'm ready to post on FB. DH wants to wait till her birthday in August, but something tells me we can't avoid her all summer
When BIL & SIL announced that she was expecting #2, MIL got right on FB and posted "So excited to be a grandmother again." That convinced me that when it was our turn, she would be the last to know.
Sorry that this happened. Did you tell her how hurt you were and that you'll be sure not to tell her a secret again in the future?
I think she knew. After she said it, I looked at DH and said "Geez, we're not going to get to share the news with anybody are we?" Then, everyone was silent for about 5 minutes.
MIL and I usually get along VERY well. I know her heart is in the right place, and she was just excited to be a grandmother. But I told her, it's my uterus and our news.
I usually have DH handle the conflicts when things come up, just to avoid any potential arguments between me and his mom. He's very diplomatic, and at some point I'm sure he's going to tell her how hurt we are/were.
Why don't people get it that it's the couple's decision and news to share? I would NEVER share someone's news like that... it's so wrong.
Sorry you're having to deal with this, I went through something similar with my MIL. DH called her the night we found out and told her, and the next morning I woke up to a FB post from her announcing that she's going to be a grandmother. I was furious. My dad is on DH FB and I wanted to tell him first before he found out through people posting congrats on DH FB.
I really hate FB for this very reason. So I told her, she CANNOT post the first u/s scan until I do! I'm not letting DH tell her the sex of the baby until I tell everyone I want to. I know she's excited because this is her first grandchild, but let us have some excitement too. I didn't post on FB until after first u/s but her and DH made posts the same day as each other. I honestly wanted to kill both of them lol
I'm sorry she blabbed. You have every right to be upset and hurt. But don't let her ruin this special time for you. I'd still announce to the family on Easter, I'm sure they'd much rather hear it from you and your husband anyways.
My MIL is the same way. She can't keep her mouth shut and the problems only get bigger from there. Thats why DH and I have decided to tell her when we announce to everyone else.
You know, you're right. We probably should just still announce it as if no one else knows. I'm sure there will be a happy reaction, even if it's not the original surprise reaction we were hoping for!
Once you let her know how hurt you are, you could (kindly) tell her that from now on, you will be sharing news only when you are ready and that she will not be the first to find out. If you really want to pile it on, let her know she will be the last to find out. That includes finding out the sex, spilling the beans on any future pregnancies, and other important milestones. She probably won't be happy, but I bet you will get your point across.
Baby Turtle - November 2014
That sucks. I was afraid my MIL would do the same thing. Thankfully she didn't.
I'm about to revoke her privileges as well. We were talking about a cousin who's DH just went back to work after having 2 weeks off helping her with their new LO and I asked DH how much time he had and she chimes in, "Oh I should take some time off to help you, too." Um, no thanks lady. I can only tolerate about an hour of you, so I think you should just keep your vacay time for something else. Grrrr.
In response to the Facebook thing...it really stinks right now, but I completely disabled my wall on Facebook for the time being. We've told some people, but haven't told my sister or BIL (waiting until we go down to FL to see them at the end of the month) and even though we've told people it's pretty hush-hush, I'm still concerned that someone might say something on Facebook. I'm pretty boring on FB right now, but I'd rather that than have someone say something early!