TTC After a Loss
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A lot has happened (depressing)

I was just reflecting on the last 2 yrs and how much loss I have dealt with in that short time.  A close Uncle was killed in a car wreck 5 months before my wedding, then 2 weeks before my wedding we suddenly lost my Grandma and just this Thanksgiving we lost my Grandpa and then I had my m/c in January.  I don't mean to be "woe is me" and I usually don't express it but the looming arrival of AF has got me really down and thinking about all the losses I've had makes me wonder when we will ever get some good news.  I hate being so depressing and blah. Sure there have also been a lot of good things going on but somedays it's hard to focus on those verses the bad things that have happened.  I'm just having a rough day sorry for being so whiney. 
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Re: A lot has happened (depressing)

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    :hugs: I'm sorry you've had so many losses so recently. You aren't being "woe is me", you are being human. It would be hard for anyone to not be depressed dealing with so much in such a short time. I hope things start to get better for you.

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    imageLaTi07:
    :hugs: I'm sorry you've had so many losses so recently. You aren't being "woe is me", you are being human. It would be hard for anyone to not be depressed dealing with so much in such a short time. I hope things start to get better for you.
    Yes, you're being human. That is too much for anyone. This board is a lifesaver but maybe you should seek some one on one counseling to help you process. It's just a thought.

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    Aw, I'm sorry! That sucks! I get how you feel(I've lost three grandparents, and had the miscarriage in about three years). It's totally justified. I hope you get some good news soon! ((HUGS))
    http://beatlesgirl64.wordpress.com/2011/03/16/trigger/ "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." John Lennon, "Beautiful Boy"
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    Your not being whiney.  You have had alot of sadness in the past two years and this is the natural healing process.

    Tell me some of the good things that have happened to you in the past 2 years(it may help you feel better)?

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    I understand how your're feeling...

    5 months before my wedding my grandma suddenly passed away. She was like my best friend. She used to buy me lingerie for christmas telling me that she was trying to get me married. She was sooo excited I was getting married...

    My DH mom had been fighting breast cancer for a few years, it went into remission a few months before our wedding and they found a tumor in her brain a few weeks before the wedding. She didnt make it to the wedding because she had brain surgery 2 days before the wedding.

    My parents who have been married since they were 17 decided that they wanted to get divorced 1 month before our wedding, It was crazy and completely shocking. Anyone who knew them was like WHAT>>>> I was upset with my mom because of the divorce and we stopped talking for awhile. My mom and I have ALWAYS been close and it pretty much ruined my wedding. Of course after they got the divorce they still lived together and still do today and its like they are still married?..

    2 months after our wedding, DH lost his job that he had been working at for like 8 years because they cut based on salary and he made a good salary. He didnt find another job for 6 months and it pretty much ruined my PERFECT CREDIT.

    Last year, DH's mother lost her battle with breast cancer and passed away. It broke DH heart. He was so excited for this baby... so yeah, I know what you mean!

     

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    imageMissAutumn:

    I understand how your're feeling...

    5 months before my wedding my grandma suddenly passed away. She was like my best friend. She used to buy me lingerie for christmas telling me that she was trying to get me married. She was sooo excited I was getting married...

    My DH mom had been fighting breast cancer for a few years, it went into remission a few months before our wedding and they found a tumor in her brain a few weeks before the wedding. She didnt make it to the wedding because she had brain surgery 2 days before the wedding.

    My parents who have been married since they were 17 decided that they wanted to get divorced 1 month before our wedding, It was crazy and completely shocking. Anyone who knew them was like WHAT>>>> I was upset with my mom because of the divorce and we stopped talking for awhile. My mom and I have ALWAYS been close and it pretty much ruined my wedding. Of course after they got the divorce they still lived together and still do today and its like they are still married?..

    2 months after our wedding, DH lost his job that he had been working at for like 8 years because they cut based on salary and he made a good salary. He didnt find another job for 6 months and it pretty much ruined my PERFECT CREDIT.

    Last year, DH's mother lost her battle with breast cancer and passed away. It broke DH heart. He was so excited for this baby... so yeah, I know what you mean!

    Ugh I am so sorry ((HUGS)) 

     

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    imageroadstar:

    Your not being whiney.  You have had alot of sadness in the past two years and this is the natural healing process.

    Tell me some of the good things that have happened to you in the past 2 years(it may help you feel better)?

    OK good idea!  Well for starters I did get married and it was a great day, we had an amazing Honeymoon in Costa Rica.  We celebrated our first anniversary on a cruise to Alaska. DH got a new job in September and is now a CTO (Chief Technology Officer) at a start-up company.  I did get one BFP so I know it's possible and I found this board and all you fabulous ladies here! 

     

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    It always seems like the bad stuff is clustered.  I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this stuff.  It really sucks.  I hope things start getting better soon.
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    Don't apologize. Sometime we take stock and then it hits us just how much we've been thru. But look at it this way, you are stronger than you ever thought you were since you've been thru all this. It may not seem like it but you are in a lot of little and big ways!

    You can still have rough days though!

    Big hug!

    (It's my turn in Words, I will get to it asap, it's been a wacky week)

     

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    imageglitterfish 213:
    imageroadstar:

    Your not being whiney.  You have had alot of sadness in the past two years and this is the natural healing process.

    Tell me some of the good things that have happened to you in the past 2 years(it may help you feel better)?

    OK good idea!  Well for starters I did get married and it was a great day, we had an amazing Honeymoon in Costa Rica.  We celebrated our first anniversary on a cruise to Alaska. DH got a new job in September and is now a CTO (Chief Technology Officer) at a start-up company.  I did get one BFP so I know it's possible and I found this board and all you fabulous ladies here! 

     

     Those are two of our must visits.  Was Costa Rica amazing?

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    imageroadstar:
    imageglitterfish 213:
    imageroadstar:

    Your not being whiney.  You have had alot of sadness in the past two years and this is the natural healing process.

    Tell me some of the good things that have happened to you in the past 2 years(it may help you feel better)?

    OK good idea!  Well for starters I did get married and it was a great day, we had an amazing Honeymoon in Costa Rica.  We celebrated our first anniversary on a cruise to Alaska. DH got a new job in September and is now a CTO (Chief Technology Officer) at a start-up company.  I did get one BFP so I know it's possible and I found this board and all you fabulous ladies here! 

     

     Those are two of our must visits.  Was Costa Rica amazing?

    We absolutely loved it and stayed at some amazing places beyond gorgeous...the people, the food, the scenery was all fabulous and we loved every second being there.  We want to go back for our 5 yr anniversary, I hope we do there is still so much to see and do there.

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    That is a lot to deal with in just a few short years! It's totally understandable that you would be having a hard time with this. You are trying to grieve for multiple people all at once, and grieving for my m/c alone is the hardest thing I've ever done. I can't imagine taking on more than this. Don't worry, you're not being a downer. We are here to support you in good times and bad! Big ((hugs)).
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    I'm so sorry you're in a deluge of suckitude. It's so hard to not connect them all, and feel like the world is coming down on you. ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

    My DH and I have had 2+ years of similar horribleness and this latest event has set the "woe is us" feelings to "high." He literally just sent me an email about someday hoping for months and months of good news.

    Take care of yourself. 

    BzeetyD = 38, Mr. BzeetyD = 44 together 12/02 married 9/08
    TTC #1 since 1/10
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    Our lil' lost sparks:
    5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
    8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
    8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
    4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013

    Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
    RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

    Moving on to IVF.

    IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

    Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
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    We are so in love with her.

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    imageMissAutumn:

    I understand how your're feeling...

    5 months before my wedding my grandma suddenly passed away. She was like my best friend. She used to buy me lingerie for christmas telling me that she was trying to get me married. She was sooo excited I was getting married...

    My DH mom had been fighting breast cancer for a few years, it went into remission a few months before our wedding and they found a tumor in her brain a few weeks before the wedding. She didnt make it to the wedding because she had brain surgery 2 days before the wedding.

    My parents who have been married since they were 17 decided that they wanted to get divorced 1 month before our wedding, It was crazy and completely shocking. Anyone who knew them was like WHAT>>>> I was upset with my mom because of the divorce and we stopped talking for awhile. My mom and I have ALWAYS been close and it pretty much ruined my wedding. Of course after they got the divorce they still lived together and still do today and its like they are still married?..

    2 months after our wedding, DH lost his job that he had been working at for like 8 years because they cut based on salary and he made a good salary. He didnt find another job for 6 months and it pretty much ruined my PERFECT CREDIT.

    Last year, DH's mother lost her battle with breast cancer and passed away. It broke DH heart. He was so excited for this baby... so yeah, I know what you mean!

     

    I am so sorry for both of you. It's like the quite from Mother Theresa... "I know god will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."  I can't imagine having all of that happen in a short amount of time. Hugs to you both!


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    It's totally understandable to have a hard time focusing on the good when you have been dealing with that much awful.  I am so sorry!  ((Big HUGS))
    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
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    That is ALOT to deal with.  Wow, I am so sorry. Big hugs.

     

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    Do not ever feel bad for "whining" which I don't think you really did at all.  I am so sorry for all your losses, that would be difficult to experience.  T&Ps to you that you get some good news soon.  I'm kind of going through a "pity party" myself, and I just try to tell myself something nice everyday, something I'm grateful for.  It helps you remember the small fortunes we do have and personally, has helped my mood.  Hope it all gets better soon.  Hugs Left Hug

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    *huge hugs*  The universe owes you, big time.
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