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TTC After a Loss
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A lot has happened (depressing)
I was just reflecting on the last 2 yrs and how much loss I have dealt with in that short time. A close Uncle was killed in a car wreck 5 months before my wedding, then 2 weeks before my wedding we suddenly lost my Grandma and just this Thanksgiving we lost my Grandpa and then I had my m/c in January. I don't mean to be "woe is me" and I usually don't express it but the looming arrival of AF has got me really down and thinking about all the losses I've had makes me wonder when we will ever get some good news. I hate being so depressing and blah. Sure there have also been a lot of good things going on but somedays it's hard to focus on those verses the bad things that have happened. I'm just having a rough day sorry for being so whiney.
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Re: A lot has happened (depressing)
♥BFP #1 "Spawn"- 02/23/11 | EDD: 11/01/11 | natural m/c 03/20/11 @7w5d♥
♥BFP #2 "Offspring"- 11/10/12 | EDD: 07/25/13 | incomplete m/c 12/14/12 @8w1d | D&C 12/21/12♥
♥BFP #3 "Progeny" - 02/16/15 | It's a BOY!! | EDD: 10/17/15 | BD: 10/23/15♥
All AL Always Welcome
My heart is as open as the sky.
Read about it on the blog
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Your not being whiney. You have had alot of sadness in the past two years and this is the natural healing process.
Tell me some of the good things that have happened to you in the past 2 years(it may help you feel better)?
I understand how your're feeling...
5 months before my wedding my grandma suddenly passed away. She was like my best friend. She used to buy me lingerie for christmas telling me that she was trying to get me married. She was sooo excited I was getting married...
My DH mom had been fighting breast cancer for a few years, it went into remission a few months before our wedding and they found a tumor in her brain a few weeks before the wedding. She didnt make it to the wedding because she had brain surgery 2 days before the wedding.
My parents who have been married since they were 17 decided that they wanted to get divorced 1 month before our wedding, It was crazy and completely shocking. Anyone who knew them was like WHAT>>>> I was upset with my mom because of the divorce and we stopped talking for awhile. My mom and I have ALWAYS been close and it pretty much ruined my wedding. Of course after they got the divorce they still lived together and still do today and its like they are still married?..
2 months after our wedding, DH lost his job that he had been working at for like 8 years because they cut based on salary and he made a good salary. He didnt find another job for 6 months and it pretty much ruined my PERFECT CREDIT.
Last year, DH's mother lost her battle with breast cancer and passed away. It broke DH heart. He was so excited for this baby... so yeah, I know what you mean!
Ugh I am so sorry ((HUGS))
OK good idea! Well for starters I did get married and it was a great day, we had an amazing Honeymoon in Costa Rica. We celebrated our first anniversary on a cruise to Alaska. DH got a new job in September and is now a CTO (Chief Technology Officer) at a start-up company. I did get one BFP so I know it's possible and I found this board and all you fabulous ladies here!
Don't apologize. Sometime we take stock and then it hits us just how much we've been thru. But look at it this way, you are stronger than you ever thought you were since you've been thru all this. It may not seem like it but you are in a lot of little and big ways!
You can still have rough days though!
Big hug!
(It's my turn in Words, I will get to it asap, it's been a wacky week)
Those are two of our must visits. Was Costa Rica amazing?
We absolutely loved it and stayed at some amazing places beyond gorgeous...the people, the food, the scenery was all fabulous and we loved every second being there. We want to go back for our 5 yr anniversary, I hope we do there is still so much to see and do there.
BFP 11/23/10 MMC @ 7w3d Discovered @ 10w2d D&C 1/12/11
BFP 7/6/11 Our Lucky Charm born 3/5/12
I'm so sorry you're in a deluge of suckitude. It's so hard to not connect them all, and feel like the world is coming down on you. ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
My DH and I have had 2+ years of similar horribleness and this latest event has set the "woe is us" feelings to "high." He literally just sent me an email about someday hoping for months and months of good news.
Take care of yourself.
TTC #1 since 1/10
DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues
Our lil' lost sparks:
5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013
Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal
Moving on to IVF.
IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy
Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14
After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
We are so in love with her.
"I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."
Everybody is welcome!!!
I am so sorry for both of you. It's like the quite from Mother Theresa... "I know god will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." I can't imagine having all of that happen in a short amount of time. Hugs to you both!
Camryn Nicole born 08/24/04 Dillon Joe born 10/24/07 m/c 06/21/2009 m/c 11/29/2010
BFP!! 06/14/2011
"Where hope grows, miracles blossom"
BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12
~*~My BFP Chart~*~Our Story~*~
~*~Labor Buddies with Sweet Turnip - Welcome Baby Girl 2/23/12 & Aluenna - Welcome Ivy 1/6/12~*~
9 angels in heaven-3 in my arms and 1 in the NICU
Mono/di twin girls: Josephine born to heaven and Evangeline born Earthside at 25w