BF board.... a little freaked out

sugarangel77 · April 2011

so,lets try not to flame me...... I just spent the last hour lurking around the BF board.I haven't done this before. I know BF is going to be hard but i was not prepared for some of the issues that people are having! I have to admit that I'm pretty freaked out right now Surprise . I guess that means I need to do more lurking.....

Is there a good book to help me get started? something that not to 'wordy' Im super ADD. I just want the basics at first or Ill get to overwhelmed.

other new moms-- have you looked over there yet? Am i the only new mom that is pretty clueless about BF?

ZTAsunshine · April 2011

Baby 411 has a good section on breastfeeding in it. The hospital should have a LC that comes and helps you as well.

Typically any problems I had last time with EP I would look on the bump for a post about it on 0-3 board. Those girls were amazing and posted about a lot of stuff. The major problem I had with EP was clogged ducts- seriously someone suggested getting on all fours and pumping, I laughed and thought this is not going to work. No joke it worked.

I am also so sure those of us that BF here will be willing to help out. You can also youtube how to breastfeed... Might weird you out though.

krispy127 · April 2011

Yea its a little daunting but I read the nursing mothers companion by kathleen huggins its a little dry but it goes over every aspect of BF and what to do if you run across complications and what to do about them. Its a really great resource. Once I was done reading it I went to a brestfeeding meeting with a bunch of girls and I totally felt like I knew it all. Hope this helps don't get discouraged any problems that people run across there is a solution to it so don't fret. Plus there are always lactation consultants and things you can ask for help and websites they're all listed in the book. Hope this helps you be less freaked out

Lisa Frank · April 2011

These are my 2 favorite books:

The Nursing Mother's Companion

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

sugarangel77 · April 2011

I understand things are going to happen....(latch issues/clog ducts/infections/thrust/ baby not eating/ etc).... I just think i feel overwhelmed by it all....

its like it 'BF just smacked me in the face all the sudden' HAHAHA

thank you

AnneShirleyBlythe · April 2011

Lisa Frank:
These are my 2 favorite books:
The Nursing Mother's Companion
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

The author of Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is my local LLL leader. I am so going to a meeting as soon as I can (they hold them Wednesdays at 10:30, wtf?) OP, you should go to a LLL meeting if you get a chance, before the baby comes. Great resource.

And really, most problems you just solve as they come up. No need to worry about nursing strikes/clogged ducts/etc. until you have them. It is good to recognize what is happening, but some stuff may never happen to you.

JuJuBe3 · April 2011

I found the BF board a bit overwhelming, too. Just remember that people are more likely to post when they have issues than when everything is going just fine.

I read the Womanly Art of BFing and thought it was just okay. Our prenatal classes covered BFing, but not a whole lot. So I'm trying and still don't feel like I have nearly the information I need.

We learned on our hospital tour they do BFing classes at the hospital every day, so I plan to attend one of those and meet with an LC while we are there. They said to request an appointment with an LC right away to make sure you are seen while you're still there. Hopefully, you can find similar resources at your hospital. GL!

ksdodge · April 2011

BFing is hard, but stressing about it doesn't help. Just relax, especially right now, it may come naturally. My guess is where you deliver will have numerous people to help and I bet if you do some searching a hospital near you will have a group for BFing moms that you can go to after LO is born. You will be just fine!!

sam2chris · April 2011

I was the same way with DD#1 and the best thing I did was take the BF class at the hospital. I was scared about the whole thing and luckily DH suggested I take the class and it was amazing. They really helped me understand things so much better and put me more at ease. And even when she was here they were there whenever I had any questions or problems, they even made check up phone calls just to see how we were both doing. Definitely check out any classes that are provided and get in contact with the LC, if it werent for them I would have never made it through the first couple weeks.....the hardest time. Once you get over that hump it's a breeze!

KhloesMom · April 2011

The best book I'd recommend would be "So That's What They're For," but I'd buy it NOW and read it (or any of them!), not when you're juggling a NB.

One perspective on the BF board-a lot of what you see there is people going for support b/c they're having issues. There's a myriad of girls that aren't posting thing because it IS going well for them. Know that it's there as a resource, but don't let it freak you out or discourage you.

stargzr77 · April 2011

Lisa Frank:

These are my 2 favorite books:

The Nursing Mother's Companion

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

Yes Both good books. I like kellymom.com. There are a lot of good resources on there. It can be daunting, but take it one day at a time and request to see an LC as soon as you can. Just set little goals at first, like making it through the first week, etc.

iris427 · April 2011

AnneShirleyBlythe:

And really, most problems you just solve as they come up. No need to worry about nursing strikes/clogged ducts/etc. until you have them. It is good to recognize what is happening, but some stuff may never happen to you.

Agreed. Most breastfeeding problems can be resolved and you just deal with them as they arise. Focusing on everything that could possibly go wrong would overwhelm anyone, but that's not what your day to day breastfeeding experience will be like for the most part.

The first weeks can be tough but you'll get through them and they are just a tiny percentage of parenting when you look back.

iris427 · April 2011

I agree with pp who recommended kellymom.com

When I've had a breastfeeding questions or issue, I go there first. Lots of great information and it's quick and to the point.

ToBeMrsC6907 · April 2011

JuJuBe3:

I found the BF board a bit overwhelming, too. Just remember that people are more likely to post when they have issues than when everything is going just fine.

I read the Womanly Art of BFing and thought it was just okay. Our prenatal classes covered BFing, but not a whole lot. So I'm trying and still don't feel like I have nearly the information I need.

We learned on our hospital tour they do BFing classes at the hospital every day, so I plan to attend one of those and meet with an LC while we are there. They said to request an appointment with an LC right away to make sure you are seen while you're still there. Hopefully, you can find similar resources at your hospital. GL!

This!

Don't go into BF'ing looking for it to be difficult or for things to go wrong. Just have realistic expectations (meaning it's not going to be easy) but more than anything, if you are committed to it and it is important to you, you will do what you need to do to make it work. Don't stress about issues that are non-issues...just try to relax and enjoy your new baby! There are TONS of resources and support out there for new BF'ing moms, lots of which have been mentioned by pp's including books, your hospitals lactation consultants, La Leche League, etc. GL!

mcwhittaker · April 2011

I've been doing a lot of research on the subject and it's VERY difficult to get information that isn't highly politically charged regarding the topic.

Most of the LLL materials I've read are way too much like propaganda and less informational on what to do if you run into different situations.

The breast feeding forums on the bump were just totally out of control for my taste.

If you manage to find something that's more like reference material please post for the rest of us!

Lisa Frank · April 2011

mcwhittaker:
I've been doing a lot of research on the subject and it's VERY difficult to get information that isn't highly politically charged regarding the topic.
Most of the LLL materials I've read are way too much like propaganda and less informational on what to do if you run into different situations.
The breast feeding forums on the bump were just totally out of control for my taste.
If you manage to find something that's more like reference material please post for the rest of us!

I just did above. Get the book 'The Nursing Mother's Companion.'

iris427 · April 2011

Lisa Frank:
mcwhittaker:
I've been doing a lot of research on the subject and it's VERY difficult to get information that isn't highly politically charged regarding the topic.
Most of the LLL materials I've read are way too much like propaganda and less informational on what to do if you run into different situations.
The breast feeding forums on the bump were just totally out of control for my taste.
If you manage to find something that's more like reference material please post for the rest of us!
I just did above. Get the book 'The Nursing Mother's Companion.'

Or kellymom.com

I agree that LLL's book has a lot of parenting "advice" that I wish they would have left out. They do have information on how to handle breastfeeding issues but you have to wade through all the parenting BS to get to it.

Lisa Frank · April 2011

iris427:
Lisa Frank:
mcwhittaker:
I've been doing a lot of research on the subject and it's VERY difficult to get information that isn't highly politically charged regarding the topic.
Most of the LLL materials I've read are way too much like propaganda and less informational on what to do if you run into different situations.
The breast feeding forums on the bump were just totally out of control for my taste.
If you manage to find something that's more like reference material please post for the rest of us!
I just did above. Get the book 'The Nursing Mother's Companion.'
Or kellymom.com
I agree that LLL's book has a lot of parenting "advice" that I wish they would have left out. They do have information on how to handle breastfeeding issues but you have to wade through all the parenting BS to get to it.

Kelly Mom is a little propogandish at times too. Well, at least their FB page is.

I think that kind of comes with the territory, though. I mean, of course these books/websites are going to advocate for all things bf'ing.

And I think some of you will really find the Bf'ing board to be very helpful in a few weeks. I don't think it was there when I had my DS, because I think I would have used it A LOT! I can't remember. Iris, do you remember?

tokenhoser · April 2011

I've gone to a couple LLL meetings in person and really enjoyed them. Yes, a lot of moms there cosleep. No, they don't ask your parenting choices at the door and kick you out if your plans differ. It really helped me to feel more comfortable. I saw moms breastfeeding babies of different ages, I saw different holds and moms and babies that just looked comfortable, I heard stories and questions, and I met the women I will call if I do have issues. Fabulous resource - and free, unlike LC often are after you leave the hospital.

As for the "propaganda" and "politically charged" stuff, the fact is that our society is pretty breastfeeding unfriendly, and the slightly radicalized messaging of some groups like LLL is necessary to combat that. Until we really do get back a positive breastfeeding environment, women need more than neutrality.

I've read "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding". It was long - you can skip a lot of chapters now if you want. They have some summary sheets free here, too. kellymom is great - I've been looking up questions I have there. The BFing board here, honestly, is kind of useless. It's mostly just pumping questions, and there usually aren't a lot of answers.

AnneShirleyBlythe · April 2011

mcwhittaker:
I've been doing a lot of research on the subject and it's VERY difficult to get information that isn't highly politically charged regarding the topic.
Most of the LLL materials I've read are way too much like propaganda and less informational on what to do if you run into different situations.
The breast feeding forums on the bump were just totally out of control for my taste.
If you manage to find something that's more like reference material please post for the rest of us!

I think they have to be propaganda-ish. Look at how much money formula companies dump into samples, advertising in print/TV/google sidebar, not to mention the ACTUAL propaganda they have put forth in other countries (go read about Nestle in Africa if you are interested). My mom is an LC. We had an entire spare room FULL of formula samples while I was growing up. You just have to take the good with the bad, read between the lines, and make your own decisions.

iris427 · April 2011

Lisa Frank:

Kelly Mom is a little propogandish at times too. Well, at least their FB page is.
I think that kind of comes with the territory, though. I mean, of course these books/websites are going to advocate for all things bf'ing.
And I think some of you will really find the Bf'ing board to be very helpful in a few weeks. I don't think it was there when I had my DS, because I think I would have used it A LOT! I can't remember. Iris, do you remember?

You're right, their FB newsfeed is another story. But in my experience, if you go on their website because you want to check how to get rid of a clogged duct, you don't have to flip through the chapter about how you should have had a natural birth first (tried that, didn't happen, thanks for the "support").

I don't remember the BFing board being there either when we had our babies. But I remember getting lots of help on the baby board when I needed it. I honestly don't think I would have made it the first week without thebump! I remember posting at around 5 days postpartum about how awful and hard it was and people were really supportive and told me it would get better, which was what I needed to hear to keep going.

IU_baby · April 2011

Request a LC in the hospital as soon as you can. They're amazingly helpful!

I also read So That's What They're For! and I thought it was excellent.

SC1977 · April 2011

I hear you. I feel really unprepared for it and very intimidated.

I watched a video that was sent to me via my work lactation program and so far it was more helpful to me than reading about it in books. Unfortunately, the video isn't online but hopefully there are some reputable ones available elsewhere on the net. I may be naive, but I'm hoping to get by on just knowing a few basic ways to hold the baby, what a proper latch should look and feel like, and how to break the latch. Anything above and beyond that, I'll take as it comes. Or hope that the lactation consultant tells me about it at the hospital.

iris427 · April 2011

tokenhoser:
I've gone to a couple LLL meetings in person and really enjoyed them. Yes, a lot of moms there cosleep. No, they don't ask your parenting choices at the door and kick you out if your plans differ. It really helped me to feel more comfortable. I saw moms breastfeeding babies of different ages, I saw different holds and moms and babies that just looked comfortable, I heard stories and questions, and I met the women I will call if I do have issues. Fabulous resource - and free, unlike LC often are after you leave the hospital.
As for the "propaganda" and "politically charged" stuff, the fact is that our society is pretty breastfeeding unfriendly, and the slightly radicalized messaging of some groups like LLL is necessary to combat that. Until we really do get back a positive breastfeeding environment, women need more than neutrality.
I've read "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding". It was long - you can skip a lot of chapters now if you want. They have some summary sheets free here, too. kellymom is great - I've been looking up questions I have there. The BFing board here, honestly, is kind of useless. It's mostly just pumping questions, and there usually aren't a lot of answers.

My issue isn't with pro-breastfeeding propaganda. Because I agree with you and Patty that they need to be that way to an extent. The only reasons hospitals have LCs and rooming in and all that stuff is because of women pushing and advocating for it.

My issue is with all the unrelated stuff that gets thrown in. You don't have to have a natural birth and be the picture of attachment parenting to breastfeed. And that's how some of their publications come across. I know a lot of BFing advocates are also big proponents of NB and AP, but I think they'd have more success reaching more women if they wouldn't tie BFing in quite so much with those other things. You can give good advice about BFing and even say things like "BFing might be easier if you sleep with the baby in your room or in your bed" without sounding like there is only one right way to do things.

I mean, I had a c/s and did CIO and I breastfed my daughter for nearly 2.5 years. I don't want guilt about how I should have done everything differently when I just want to find out how long pumped milk is good for or how to recognize mastitis.

tokenhoser · April 2011

For videos and questions: https://www.drjacknewman.com/

Tons of info there.

AnneShirleyBlythe · April 2011

iris427:
tokenhoser:
I've gone to a couple LLL meetings in person and really enjoyed them. Yes, a lot of moms there cosleep. No, they don't ask your parenting choices at the door and kick you out if your plans differ. It really helped me to feel more comfortable. I saw moms breastfeeding babies of different ages, I saw different holds and moms and babies that just looked comfortable, I heard stories and questions, and I met the women I will call if I do have issues. Fabulous resource - and free, unlike LC often are after you leave the hospital.
As for the "propaganda" and "politically charged" stuff, the fact is that our society is pretty breastfeeding unfriendly, and the slightly radicalized messaging of some groups like LLL is necessary to combat that. Until we really do get back a positive breastfeeding environment, women need more than neutrality.
I've read "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding". It was long - you can skip a lot of chapters now if you want. They have some summary sheets free here, too. kellymom is great - I've been looking up questions I have there. The BFing board here, honestly, is kind of useless. It's mostly just pumping questions, and there usually aren't a lot of answers.
My issue isn't with pro-breastfeeding propaganda. Because I agree with you and Patty that they need to be that way to an extent. The only reasons hospitals have LCs and rooming in and all that stuff is because of women pushing and advocating for it.
My issue is with all the unrelated stuff that gets thrown in. You don't have to have a natural birth and be the picture of attachment parenting to breastfeed. And that's how some of their publications come across. I know a lot of BFing advocates are also big proponents of NB and AP, but I think they'd have more success reaching more women if they wouldn't tie BFing in quite so much with those other things. You can give good advice about BFing and even say things like "BFing might be easier if you sleep with the baby in your room or in your bed" without sounding like there is only one right way to do things.
I mean, I had a c/s and did CIO and I breastfed my daughter for nearly 2.5 years. I don't want guilt about how I should have done everything differently when I just want to find out how long pumped milk is good for or how to recognize mastitis.

I see what you are saying now. Have you ever read the book "Raising Your Baby Green"? It does the same thing. You have to eat all organic from the first positive pregnancy test to have a child who will speak before they are 9 and walk ever, it seems.

tokenhoser · April 2011

iris427:
My issue is with all the unrelated stuff that gets thrown in. You don't have to have a natural birth and be the picture of attachment parenting to breastfeed. And that's how some of their publications come across. I know a lot of BFing advocates are also big proponents of NB and AP, but I think they'd have more success reaching more women if they wouldn't tie BFing in quite so much with those other things. You can give good advice about BFing and even say things like "BFing might be easier if you sleep with the baby in your room or in your bed" without sounding like there is only one right way to do things.
I mean, I had a c/s and did CIO and I breastfed my daughter for nearly 2.5 years. I don't want guilt about how I should have done everything differently when I just want to find out how long pumped milk is good for or how to recognize mastitis.

Oh, I agree that I could do without the natural birth - cosleeping - attachment parenting - hippiefest.

At the same time, I found it somewhat less annoying in person than I did in writing. In person, it's someone sharing their experience, which I may or may not use. And every meeting started with "you'll probably hear some stuff you don't agree with; take what you can and leave the rest behind".

iris427 · April 2011

tokenhoser:

Oh, I agree that I could do without the natural birth - cosleeping - attachment parenting - hippiefest.
At the same time, I found it somewhat less annoying in person than I did in writing. In person, it's someone sharing their experience, which I may or may not use. And every meeting started with "you'll probably hear some stuff you don't agree with; take what you can and leave the rest behind".

Agreed. Meetings are different. I'm a big proponent of going to LLL meetings if you need BFing support.

mcwhittaker · April 2011

iris427:
tokenhoser:
I've gone to a couple LLL meetings in person and really enjoyed them. Yes, a lot of moms there cosleep. No, they don't ask your parenting choices at the door and kick you out if your plans differ. It really helped me to feel more comfortable. I saw moms breastfeeding babies of different ages, I saw different holds and moms and babies that just looked comfortable, I heard stories and questions, and I met the women I will call if I do have issues. Fabulous resource - and free, unlike LC often are after you leave the hospital.
As for the "propaganda" and "politically charged" stuff, the fact is that our society is pretty breastfeeding unfriendly, and the slightly radicalized messaging of some groups like LLL is necessary to combat that. Until we really do get back a positive breastfeeding environment, women need more than neutrality.
I've read "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding". It was long - you can skip a lot of chapters now if you want. They have some summary sheets free here, too. kellymom is great - I've been looking up questions I have there. The BFing board here, honestly, is kind of useless. It's mostly just pumping questions, and there usually aren't a lot of answers.
My issue isn't with pro-breastfeeding propaganda. Because I agree with you and Patty that they need to be that way to an extent. The only reasons hospitals have LCs and rooming in and all that stuff is because of women pushing and advocating for it.
My issue is with all the unrelated stuff that gets thrown in. You don't have to have a natural birth and be the picture of attachment parenting to breastfeed. And that's how some of their publications come across. I know a lot of BFing advocates are also big proponents of NB and AP, but I think they'd have more success reaching more women if they wouldn't tie BFing in quite so much with those other things. You can give good advice about BFing and even say things like "BFing might be easier if you sleep with the baby in your room or in your bed" without sounding like there is only one right way to do things.
I mean, I had a c/s and did CIO and I breastfed my daughter for nearly 2.5 years. I don't want guilt about how I should have done everything differently when I just want to find out how long pumped milk is good for or how to recognize mastitis.

This is exactly what I mean.. I want a book that is a reference. I want to know how long pumped milk is good for, what a clogged duct will look/feel like, etc.

I don't want to have to wade through other crap that makes me give the writers a serious side eye about whether or not their advice is something I'm willing to consider.

And I don't want to hear about how long I have to breastfeed for to be 'successful'. I'm sure every woman/mom has their own ideal of how long to breastfeed for, but for me personally, I will stop breastfeeding once my baby is no longer an infant.

I'm going to try it, I'm going to give it my best shot. I am not going to be a bad mother if it doesn't work out. My baby will not be damaged if it doesn't work out.

*I* wasn't breastfed, I have an IQ well above 130 and was rarely sick as a child. Heck, I didn't even get chicken pox till I was 17 years old...

All of the additional propaganda/pressure they put on women in my opinion is actually hurting their cause rather than helping... but that's just me.

Yeah i'm bombarded with free formula, coupons for formula, etc. But my first choice is to breastfeed. Simple facts about breast milk versus formula lead me to that conclusion, not propaganda.

I'll check out the book you recommended Lisa

tokenhoser · April 2011

If all you want is quick answers, skip the book and hit the websites already listed.

They're quick, well organized, and easy to just get the information you want.

iris427 · April 2011

mcwhittaker:

This is exactly what I mean.. I want a book that is a reference. I want to know how long pumped milk is good for, what a clogged duct will look/feel like, etc.
I don't want to have to wade through other crap that makes me give the writers a serious side eye about whether or not their advice is something I'm willing to consider.
And I don't want to hear about how long I have to breastfeed for to be 'successful'. I'm sure every woman/mom has their own ideal of how long to breastfeed for, but for me personally, I will stop breastfeeding once my baby is no longer an infant.
I'm going to try it, I'm going to give it my best shot. I am not going to be a bad mother if it doesn't work out. My baby will not be damaged if it doesn't work out.
*I* wasn't breastfed, I have an IQ well above 130 and was rarely sick as a child. Heck, I didn't even get chicken pox till I was 17 years old...
All of the additional propaganda/pressure they put on women in my opinion is actually hurting their cause rather than helping... but that's just me.
Yeah i'm bombarded with free formula, coupons for formula, etc. But my first choice is to breastfeed. Simple facts about breast milk versus formula lead me to that conclusion, not propaganda.
I'll check out the book you recommended Lisa

It hurts their cause and it hurts mothers, IMO. I'm so sick of all the guilt and anxiety about how you have to be the perfect mother and god forbid your child ever have to cry or wait for something. It's BS. It hurts mothers and it hurts children.

sugarangel77 · April 2011

CRAP you guys..... what in the world is LLL.... i told you im slow. jesus.

but seriously, thank you so much for all this ongoing info- books- movies- i cant wait to dig in. OH TOKEN, thanks for those notes because im not a "whole book" kind of gal i just want the good stuff!

edit: Is LLL this --------->

tokenhoser · April 2011

sugarangel77:
CRAP you guys..... what in the world is LLL.... i told you im slow. jesus.

but seriously, thank you so much for all this ongoing info- books- movies- i cant wait to dig in. OH TOKEN, thanks for those notes because im not a "whole book" kind of gal i just want the good stuff!

edit: Is LLL this --------->

Yes, La Leche League. Those notes are the last chapter in their book, but I think the best stuff is pretty much there and it's much less overwhelming.

00tedsgirl · April 2011

Agree with a lot said here:

- The forum is not representative of most women's experiences. It's there mostly for women who are struggling and need help, tips, and ideas.

- My fave books are: The Womanly Art, So That's What They're For, and The Breastfeeding Book (by Dr. and Martha Sears)

- Good websites already listed above.

- Take advantage of the hospital's LC and find a group in your area where you are comfortable.

- Don't worry about this! Yes, breastfeeding does take some time to learn for you and baby. But most women have no problems or easily remedied ones.

EJensify · April 2011

Websites or a LLL meeting I would think will be your best resources for quick answers...but watch out for Dr. Google, too. I've said it before, but that guy went to community college

pam1005 · April 2011

tokenhoser:
For videos and questions: https://www.drjacknewman.com/
Tons of info there.

Great site. His nipple cream saved me last time! Although, I should have went and got help from my OB or LC weeks before I was prescribed it. I think some women go into it thinking if they read, take classes, and see an LC in the hospital it will be just fine. I did them all and still struggled with BF big time. This time I will be going back to the hospital to see an LC if I feel like I need to, go to LLL meetings, and seek out more help if it is not going well.

I have The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and Nursing Mother's Companion and like them both. Yes, they do push natural births, which is not for me, but the info and some of the feeding positions are interesting for me (I saw and LC in the hospital, but after reading these books a lot of the info was still new for me).

LegalLadyBug · April 2011

I haven't ventured to the BF board yet. However, I did attend a BF class provided by my hospital and my OBs office has lots of information about it. My hospital/provider pushes BF pretty hard and so they have lots of information available on it. Try asking your doctor about it at the next appointment, I'm sure they have some information they can give you.

robbi123 · April 2011

stargzr77:
Lisa Frank:

These are my 2 favorite books:

The Nursing Mother's Companion

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

Both good books. I like kellymom.com. There are a lot of good resources on there. It can be daunting, but take it one day at a time and request to see an LC as soon as you can. Just set little goals at first, like making it through the first week, etc.

All of the above!

calm_angel_2003 · April 2011

Ive learned alot in the past week about BF... The LC's at the hospital are awesome. LO has a hard time latching on and sucking and loves to keep his tongue at the top of his mouth. They spent at least a couple hours a day with me at the hospital and then since ive been home theyve called 3 times and went up to the hospital yesterday and she spent another hour and a half with me

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