devasted - "natural" m/c

BOTB2011 · April 2011

I was on the Nov 2011 board until recently, and they actually were kind enough to refer me to here for additional support.

My BFP ride was cut short, and I/we are devastated. (This was my first BFP)

Friday I started red spotting, and frantically called the Dr. knowing this wasn't normal.. I was out of town so had to wait until Monday for an appt.

At my appt it was confirmed that I was miscarrying/miscarried. It was a week prior the pregnancy was confirmed by my Dr - and then it was being taken back...

I'm a believer in things happen for a reason, but this was a devastating blow. I spent most of Monday crying and trying to come to terms with what happened.

My Dr. was pretty useless when it came to asking questions, and next steps (To the point where I might go look for another after things settle down...) so I am definitely interested in any advice or recos you might have.

Just feeling really lost since no one close to me has gone through a m/c before..

williams4me · April 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss. This board has offered alot of support and comfort to me. I also don't have anyone IRL that has been through this, so I feel like this is the only place where people can relate to what I am going through.

I hope you can find the comfort here that the rest of us have. (((Hugs)))

flybird1216 · April 2011

I am so sorry to hear about this. I just found out today that I am most likely having an ectopic pregnancy, which means I will be getting an injection on Monday to stop the embryotic sac from growing in my fallopian tube. This was also my first pregnancy, and I totally got my mind wrapped around the thought of being pregnant and having a baby. I felt like I have been living in fantasy land for the past week and a half until today. I also have to wait 3 months after I get the injection to start TTC again. That seems like an eternity to me. I hope you are able to start trying soon again though once you find peace with this loss. I know it is difficult.

meeko1985 · April 2011

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I was also on Nov2011, pregnant with our first baby, started spotting on Fri. Monday we went in and found out we were miscarrying. It is completely awful and devastating. I was prepared for a lot of physical pain, but I am finding that the physical pain means absolutely nothing compared to the emotional pain. My body is responding very slow, so we ended up scheduling the D&C on Fri if the baby hasn't passed.

During the appointment I was in so much shock that I didn't ask many questions. It was really helpful to call the clinic the next day and I asked for someone who could answer all of my questions. The RN we talked to was very, very helpful. I've also basically backread posts all week from this board, and that has helped me cope emotionally, as well as prepare for what is to come since I have no one to talk to about it.

boymamaco · April 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too was on the November '11 board; it was also our first baby. This board has been a lifesaver for me. Tons of great women and support.

There isn't a lot that the doctors know about first miscarriages. Nor do they really investigate reasons as to why it happened. It's so common that until a women has a history of repeat losses, they tend to attribute it to chromosomal abnormalities. My doctor was very empathetic but really couldn't offer much in terms of reasons why, what to do next time/what not to do, etc. I just mention all this b/c of what you said about your doctor. I hope s/he was at least empathetic and caring.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's really nothing any of us should have to go through. My only advice - allow yourself the time and space to really grieve your loss. Time will start to heal your wounds.

Tegan · April 2011

I'm sorry for your loss. I am still coming to terms with my loss. It is really hard and I am so sorry you are going through this.

MissAutumn · April 2011

I'm sorry for your loss. I was also on the Nov 11 board (due date late October, early November) This was also my first pregnancy which breaks my heart. It will take time. This board has been wonderful for me. Althought I HATE HATE HATE that any of us have to be here, its nice talking with people who are going through the same thing I am.

Megs160 · April 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. I too was due in November with my first baby; this is so heartbreaking. As others have said, this board helps so much--even though I wish NONE of us had to be here. Hugs to you.

1220winterbride · April 2011

this board helps. I'm so sorry for your loss.

i was a November due date, too. hugs.

AgWife83 · April 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember you from the November board as well. I have found tremendous comfort here, I hope you can too. (((hugs)))

yuengling58 · April 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss.. as much as I hate that we all have to be here, I'm glad this board exists for support.

Smurphette · April 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience with havin a very unhelpful doctor. I've found that following the posts here and on the tcoyf loss board has been a very helpful resource, maybe even more than my doctor would have been in regards to the emotional experience.