Phoenix Babies

My Brother's Wedding

So In November my husband and I announced to our whole family that we are pregnant with our first baby. Both of our families are so excited to have a new grand baby and a new cousin, however, two months later my brother and his girlfriend announced that they are getting married and put there wedding date a month before I am due. At first I was really excited for them but now I'm just kinda annoyed. I love my brother and his future wife but with the wedding taking up most of my families time they planned my baby shower two weeks before I am due. I feel pushed to the back burner! What if this baby comes early? it's our first baby and we have NOTHING! Not to mention they expect me to be a bridesmaid. Their wedding colors are black and red. I'm going to look like a giant tomato!

 

I just don't know how to handle the situation with a smile on my face. 

Re: My Brother's Wedding

  • Yep. It sounds either extremely rude or simply thoughtless. Unfortunately this isn't the first time I've heard something like this. I think the best thing may be to sit down with the key people involved and perhaps see if they can move up the date of the wedding or your shower. Let them know how much you want to be excited and have an active role and yet how uncomfortable and stressed you are going to feel at that point. If it was just thoughtless planning they may be willing to move the dates. If it was an intentionaly ploy to steal your thunder at least other key family members will be aware that you may be needing extra help and reassurance during that time. Good luck!
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  • I hate to sound like a meanie but here goes.  Their wedding isn't about you any more than your baby is about them.  Rather than feeling jealous and petty, be glad that your family has such special events to celebrate in such a short period of time.

     Your baby could come at any time. God forbid, you could be giving birth on their wedding day. You can't ask them to put their lives on hold for you any more than they can ask the baby to stay put for them.

    If the date of the shower bothers you, ask your family if it could be rescheduled earlier - even if you are still in your 2nd trimester. Otherwise, don't worry about it. Fortunately, babies don't need much when they are born - just parents to love them, some diapers, and a car seat to go home in.

  • I agree about asking to reschedule the shower to the 2nd trimester. My shower was 4.5 weeks before my due date any my water broke exactly a week later. I had a very normal and easy pregnancy with nothing to suggest he would be a little early. I understand your feelings, but I think it (hopefully) was not intentional.
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  • Please don't take this the wrong way- I understand your situation. We just adopted our daughter and didn't want our shower until she was home with us. Well, weekends just didn't work and her shower isn't until May 14 (she was born March 29). The thing is, while this has been huge for us, our friends and family do have other things going on. Additionally, to your comment of "we don't have anything", as parents it's your responsibility to supply what you need, no one elses. I hope that's not to harsh, but it's the truth. I'm sorry your feelings are hurt, I hope you can talk with your family and resolve any issues lingering.
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