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Cincinnati Babies
DRockH
member
Follow-up to poll
DRockH
member
Why would you say no if you did?
Maybe I should have added special snowflake?
ETA: I guess I should have said, what is the thought process behind saying no? I am curious if its just a specific scenario that you would think your husband shouldnt stand behind you or your husband shouldnt ever stand behind you..
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Follow-up to poll
We wouldn't back each other up in terms of political debates, religious debates, etc. We stand as a united front in front of our child on parenting issues and things like that.
I guess I was more talking about something like, if your MIL said something to you that offended you or hurt you, would your DH stand up for you and say something to his mom/dad/whoever...
I think I need more context to answer the question you're asking. I don't think I know what it is you really want to know.
But here is my short answer for lots of situations: Back up my husband, never make him look like a fool in front of others, and then ask him WTF were you thinking, in private.
This!
Griffin 10/2007
My Mom said something that hurt my brother's wife and he didnt call mom to tell her to apologize or that she hurt her and she should make amends.... no one holds her accountable because they are worried about hurting her feelings and because no one ever really questions her...
I have personal experience in this area and after the frist time of not being backed by my DH, we had a long discussion about this. Now I feel we are on the same page, and it has happened many times since the first time with DH's family. This is actually what came to mind when I read the original poll and I answered "yes, 100% of the time".
Griffin 10/2007
In terms of that, yes 100%.
I think that whether my brother thinks it was malicious or not, or even if he didnt think it was worthy of being hurt for, she should be held accountable.
My mom had good intentions but really just lacked tact and didnt think about her feelings when she said what she said.
This!
this.
My husband and I agree on most things, but there are plenty of things we disagree on, too. If we disagreed, I wouldn't expect him to jump to my side and back my opinion. He's entitled to his own opinion, and I wouldn't back him up if I disagreed with him. However, I wouldn't let someone attack him for his opinion, either, and I know he would do the same.
I guess I'm confused about the whole situation. Is it something someone did, or said, or is it someone's opinion? I can't figure out exactly what the thing is that DH would or wouldn't "stand behind."
If I, for example, did something that upset his parents, I would expect him to discuss it with me and support me in working it out with them. If he immediately jumped to their defense and not mine, I would be upset.
On the other hand, if I were discussing the economy, for example, unemployment and what can be done about it with DH's parents and we disagreed, I wouldn't expect him to jump to my defense.
KWIM?
If this happened, I would talk about it to DH. Depending on what happened, I might ask him to say something to his mom/dad about it, and he would. However, if I interpreted it the wrong way, I'd defer to his judgment, because he knows his parents much better than I do and can tell if they were just trying to be helpful, were joking, etc.