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I am scared

crystaljkbjcrystaljkbj
in Single Parents

A short back story.

 Me and DH have been fighting for the last year or so and things seems to be getting worse and worse. He is a bad alcoholic  and he was on drugs before we met. I have had suspesions that he is using again. It has gotten so bad my mom who lives across the street has had to come get the kids twice and call the cops 4 times in the last month. 

 He came home this afternoon and after being off work today was obviously really drunk and I think under the influence of drugs. He broke the door at the house and a few things in our kitchen and busted the a window. This time I called the cops. I want it documented so when we go to court there is no questions. 

 I am so afraid of my 7 month old having to go stay with him overnight or at all. He has bad anger problems obviously. I have also never been away from my son for that amount of time and it terrfies me. He has never cared for him alone or kept him. I am not confident he even knows how to take care of him. I also h ave a 6 yr old who he has been here for since he was 3 but he is not on his legal father.

Any advice on how to handle kids having to be gone all weekend? Is this something I will eventually get to use to and be fine with? Is it really as bad as I think its going to be?

 

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Re: I am scared

  • fromthewombfromthewomb

    I am so sorry you are having to deal with this! The stress of the situation alone is more than anyone should have to endure. 

    All I know is custody laws vary from state to state.. I'd have a consultation with a lawyer, most of them will do that for free. 

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  • BostonGayGalBostonGayGal member

    You are putting the cart before the horse in a way that is keeping you from being able to do what you need to do right now, which is to get out of this relationship. You need to do this now, before anyone gets hurt. 

    If there is evidence of dangerous behavior around you and your son and there is evidence such as police reports, or a paper trail from his substance abuse, those will most likely come in as evidence. But the custody stuff is months away, and you need to get out of this relationship and get moving on the divorce NOW.  

    I don't want to sound mean, but I want to be clear.  Every day you allow your son to be near this man, you are putting him at risk. You do not want him to hurt you such that you couldn't care for your son. You do not want to have your son injured and the state to take the child away because you failed to protect him.   



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  • achase123achase123
    imageBostonGayGal:

    You are putting the cart before the horse in a way that is keeping you from being able to do what you need to do right now, which is to get out of this relationship. You need to do this now, before anyone gets hurt. 

    If there is evidence of dangerous behavior around you and your son and there is evidence such as police reports, or a paper trail from his substance abuse, those will most likely come in as evidence. But the custody stuff is months away, and you need to get out of this relationship and get moving on the divorce NOW.  

    I don't want to sound mean, but I want to be clear.  Every day you allow your son to be near this man, you are putting him at risk. You do not want him to hurt you such that you couldn't care for your son. You do not want to have your son injured and the state to take the child away because you failed to protect him.   

    All of this.  One step at a time.  The first thing is to get away from this man, and to get you and your child to safety.  If you think too far ahead you will overwhelm yourself and end up spinning in circles.  Baby steps.


    Get somewhere safe, and run, don't walk away from this man.

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  • Starbuck5Starbuck5 member
    imageachase123:
    imageBostonGayGal:

    You are putting the cart before the horse in a way that is keeping you from being able to do what you need to do right now, which is to get out of this relationship. You need to do this now, before anyone gets hurt. 

    If there is evidence of dangerous behavior around you and your son and there is evidence such as police reports, or a paper trail from his substance abuse, those will most likely come in as evidence. But the custody stuff is months away, and you need to get out of this relationship and get moving on the divorce NOW.  

    I don't want to sound mean, but I want to be clear.  Every day you allow your son to be near this man, you are putting him at risk. You do not want him to hurt you such that you couldn't care for your son. You do not want to have your son injured and the state to take the child away because you failed to protect him.   

    All of this.  One step at a time.  The first thing is to get away from this man, and to get you and your child to safety.  If you think too far ahead you will overwhelm yourself and end up spinning in circles.  Baby steps.


    Get somewhere safe, and run, don't walk away from this man.

    Exactly. Get the heck out of there girl! 



    -     <3 Bumpie Veteran from December 2010 Mama's <3 -
    BFP - TTC Cycle #6: Clomid + HCG Trigger + TI + Progesterone - EDD: 12/11
    Beta #1: 4/1 - 51.5   Beta #2: 4/3 - 189   Beta #3: 4/6 - 778.9
    AMH: 1.06  FSH: 10.7
    DS: 11/2010 Clomid + HCG Trigger + IUI + Progesterone
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