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Hawaii Babies
adpilove
member
Job Dilemma
adpilove
member
For those that I still keep in touch with over at FB, some of you saw that I have accepted new employment. HALLELUJAH!! I had begun to believe that perhaps the horrible stress at the current job may have been contributing to the non pregnancy success. So perhaps this new endeavor will bring lots of happiness this year!!
But the dilemma I am in right now is........I start this job in 2 weeks. I can't get pregnant now right? And this current cycle, yikes!! Has me all stressed out now.
"Hi I'm your new employee and guess what I'm pregnant!" Can you imagine? What if that happens? What's a girl to do?
Last question, if I don't come up pregnant........how long should I wait to start trying again? I know I need to ensure FMLA, right? Let me make this clear how important this job is to me as well. I have been waiting for an opportunity like this for YEARS and YEARS. I can not blow this however, I'll be 34 this year and feel this is the time!
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Re: Job Dilemma
Hey Sarah girl,
I'm so happy for you in regards to the new job! So proud of you!
Regarding the FMLA stuff, I'm not sure on it... But I think once you get in the groove and work is going well after a while things will naturally fall into place. I suppose you do have to wait X # of months but after that time I think the stars will align for you
Just enjoy this time and remember the best is yet to come 
Love you!
I love Hawaii!
Tara & Ian . 4/24/2008 . The Kahala Planning . Married
hi! good to "see" you again!
i have to be brief but hopefully this helps, I work under fed. law so you actually may have different (better!) leave time from the state but I'm not sure.
You can't be discriminated against due to your pregnancy. So they can't fire you after finding out. But they can let you go for excessive absences, etc w/out the FMLA protection. Hopefully they wouldn't do it in that case, but you just never know.
Oh and I should have mentioned, FMLA only applies if there are 50+ employees and a few other things (just make sure you are covered by it). If you are, it will kick in after 12 mo of employment, there is also an hours requirement, but unless you work a pretty limited schedule you should be ok.
So... if it happens now it would be ok, you should get to keep working, and then you would just have to see what their internal leave policy is and if they would hold your job for you for any set amount of time. At my work the parent gets 1 week paid + at least 5 weeks unpaid regardless of time at the job (to allow leave for those that have worked less than 12mo). 6 weeks leave would not be ideal, but could work - I know there have been posts here that say as much, many of us would have been able to go back to work at 6 weeks... and my company is more flexible than that if needed. FMLA is unpaid anyways, so all it's offering is guaranteed job protection for 12 weeks. my LO had a little 6 week old baby in his daycare for this same scenario. It worked out ok, she got lots of special attention from the floaters and the "grandma" baby rockers that volunteer there.
Also one more thing, I am pretty sure pg can't be a "pre-existing condition" for insurance reasons (since you most likely will be switching plans?)
ok, that is it. if I think of anything else I will try to post later
yippee, congrats on BOTH the job and plans to grow your family!
Oh wow, soooo didn't even think about that! My new job is a huge company so the 50+ employees for FMLA is taken care of. I'll just wait this out and get myself prepared for my new job. No need to fret about something yet, right?
Congrats on the new job!! And it's great to see you back again
We've missed you!
FWIW, I got pg 2 months after I started my last job. And I actually was kinda out a lot because MH and I were out for a week for our long-planned anniv trip in HI (I was throwing up the whole time), and then I was out for a month on disability due to hyperemesis, then I worked from home a couple of weeks after that since I was still recovering. I started my maternity leave a month before the due date, delivered on time, took FMLA for 12 weeks, extended it for 6 more months (unpaid). BUT before I got pg, I worked my butt off. We didn't really plan to get pg so quickly after the new job but we thought we'd start trying since you're supposed to give TTCing one year and I never thought I would need to take off so much time for pg-related issues, but it happened and I still worked my butt off in between.
So I think you can get pg whenever you'd like (once you start the new job, for insurance purposes) and it doesn't have to affect your job security. BUT it depends on the type of people you work with/for and how understanding they are as well. I would maybe start to try get a feel on how they feel about pg/family life/etc...my boss actually was NOT very understanding but I was lucky that the CTO *was* understanding (since he was a father himself) and he would approve my absences/etc and he was the one who decided to keep my position/etc.
I hope it all works out well and in your favor! Lots of TTC vibes your way
A couple of things come to mind. Do you know if your employment is "at-will" or if there is a probabtionary period? Would you belong to a union? They can't discriminate against you if you become pregnant, but if they are a bunch of jerks, they could try and pull something under the at-will or probationary employment umbrella.
That's a tough decision to make about whether to continue TTC if you're not PG this cycle. Personally, timing was not ideal for us, either, but we just decided to go with the flow and deal with things as they came. We felt it was time to TTC and didn't want to delay any longer, hoping that the ideal situation would come about. MH had a very stable job and, the week AFTER we got our BFP, his company announced they would be selling the business to their much smaller competitor and that there would be mass layoffs in the process. He was unemployed for a couple of months, but ended up finding a job 6 weeks before LO was born. If we had delayed TTC just one more cycle, we would have known about MH's potential layoff by then and I seriously think we would have stopped...and it makes me so sad to think that my precious baby boy might not be here today. I know we made the right decision.
Like you said, I think all you can do now is prepare for your new job, check out the environment/policies/vibe at your new workplace, see how this cycle turns out and go from there. When I found out I was PG, I waited until I was 15 weeks along to tell my employer. If you are PG this cycle (fingers crossed!), you would still have several weeks to see how things are working out at your new job before having to tell them...that is if you have a complication-free first tri and don't need to take a lot of time off or have a flexible schedule. GL!
You've gotten great advice...I'd definitely get the Employee Handbook out and go over it with a fine toothed comb. You might also look into what your state offers in terms of maternity/disability coverage. I know CA has some paid leave for maternity. OK does not. So I just had to be sure to accrue enough to augment the 3 weeks Long Term Medical Reserve my company provides. I work for a small non-profit (>27 employees) and we don't qualify for FMLA.
FWIW, I did everything "right" when it came to planning my PG around my work/job commitments...and a lot of good it did me. Not soon after my return from maternity leave I was essentially demoted. And the wheels were set in motion when I was just 4 weeks PP. Plus, I was with working from home for essentially my entire maternity leave (I started checking email from the hospital!). I was an executive at the time and felt that it was expected of me. So...I've learned my lesson and next time when I am on leave I will be COMPLETELY gone and just do the minimum-required weekly check-in by phone to my direct manager.
Do I still have a job there? Yes, but for less pay and frankly, MORE work than I was doing before...plus I report to the people who demoted me (we were peers and served on the same team)....but in this economy, especially in this city, my options are limited and I am resigned to stay put, at least for now.
That said, I was 34 when I got PG and 35 when Libby was born and will be 37 this year which is why we're gearing up to TTC again. Is it an ideal time? Not really. I mean, I essentially have no idea if I'll be let go (I think things have calmed down a bit, but I have no confidence or trust in the leadership where I work...they'll be sweet to your face and stab you in the back one second later)...and MH is still a fulltime student and working parttime. But you know what? We want another child and I'm not getting any younger. And at least, for now, I have good health insurance (which I'd get COBRA if need be...to cover my PG)...and fairly generous flextime and leave. So we're going for it...and like the others said, if/when the game changes, you roll with it the best you can. For me, no job is worth putting off expanding your family...jobs will come and go but a child is forever. As long as you feel you can flex if you were to lose this job while PG or soon after the baby comes, then I'd say keep TTCing. There are no job guarantees...even with unions...seriously. Times have changed!
GL!
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