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Two Under 2
futuremrshackney
member
When did you decide you wanted another?
futuremrshackney
member
in Two Under 2
Did you always know you wanted more than one? How old was LO when you wanted to start trying or found out you were pregnant?
LO is nearly 4 months and I really can't imagine wanting more children at this point. I love her, shes amazing and I had a relatively easy pregnancy and labor but I just can't picture it. Dh is 33 and says he doesn't care if we are "one and done", hes thrilled with his little girl. I grew up an only child and I really didn't mind it.
I feel bad in a way, like something is wrong with me because I just can't imagine more children....
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Re: When did you decide you wanted another?
Matthew Kevin
7/31/83-7/20/11
Met 1/8/00
Engaged 4/21/06
Married 9/29/07
Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
Day Three
I always knew I wanted two and that I wanted them to be two years apart. Now that DS#2 is over a year, I think I may want another baby. However, DH has changed from wanting three to only wanting the two we have. We are both trying to be open minded about the opposite point of view. Time will tell...
If both you and your DH are on the same page, it seems ideal for you to be "one and done". Sorry you are feeling guilty!
I decided I wanted another when I was about five months pregnant with #2 ...
Actually, that's not exactly true. We always knew we wanted more children. We were not planning to have them as close together as we did. But now that we do, I wouldn't change a thing. I am so very glad our babies are just over a year apart. It's hard, but it gets better every day.
<a href="http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y161/putalittlepolkainyourdot/?action=view
It was a decision we made before DS was even conceived. We knew we wanted kids close together. I grew up as an only child and disliked it while DH grew up with siblings that were spaced further apart and they never had a close relationship. Also, I didnt want to work full time when my kids were young but I wanted to go back to work when they were in school full time. Since my income is the larger one, it made sense to have them close so I could get back to the workforce quicker.
Honestly, before I got pregnant I wasnt really looking forward to being pregnant. I didnt have a tough pregnancy-I just don't like being pregnant. Now that DD is here, I'm glad everything worked out the way it did.
I think most people arent thinking about more kids at 4 months PP. You are surviving (or just survived) the sleepless nights and a baby is so needy. It's a big adjustment. You might change your mind as your LO gets older, or you might not. It's fine to have only one-there's certainly benefits to raising a child that way. In this day in age, it's increasingly common to only have one.
Our family blog
I always knew I wanted more than 1. For us we started trying when the youngest got easier.
When DD was about 3-4 months, haha. We always knew we wanted more, but for some reason baby fever really kicked in about that time. Had we waited until DD was about 9 months like she is now, and more of a handful, I may have thought differently! (About wanting one SO soon).
Oh well, everything happens the way it should.
We had always wanted 2-3 kids and to have them 18-24 months apart. DD & DS are 19-1/2 months apart and DS & #3 will be about 18 months apart.
After having DD, I was still 100% sure I wanted more. After DS, he was a much harder baby (not really bad, but still harder in comparison to DD) and I wasn't sure I wanted to do it again. By the time he was 6 months old I knew I wanted to do it one more time and by the time he was 8 months old we were trying to conceive again.
lol, DH and I always say if we waited until 9+ months to conceive, DS would have been an only child. Teething is a b!tch!
I am glad it worked out this way and I'm sure you will be too.
DH has always wanted lots of kids, and close together. DS was a hard baby, colic, reflux, no sleeping, etc. I honestly thought he might be an only child for the first 6 months of his life - I couldn't imagine another baby. I had no issue with being pregnant, but dred the baby stage.
When DS turned about 8 months, things clicked and everything got easier. We had a big trip planned for when he was 11 months old so I didn't want to be in the middle of my 1st trimester with him while away at a resort, so we waited a few months. I found out I was pregnant on our trip
.
I'm on the fence if I want to get #3 over with quickly, or space it a few years to catch our breath and get in the rhythm with 2. Time will tell - we'll see how we do with 2!
When I was pg with DS1 there was NO WAY IN HELL you were going to get me to get KU'd again. Not even on accident. I wouldn't do it. Pregnancy was hell, terrible, and not in a normal, usual kind of way. We found out after birth that all of my pregnancy woes were caused by DS1's birth defect.
After not getting a pre-natal diagnosis and being surprised with his life-threatening birth defect in the delivery room, my ENTIRE world changed.
I had never wanted anything more in my life. I wanted DS1 to LIVE and I wanted to have as many more kids as we could afford/house. DH and his little brother are 13 months apart, and they are BESTIES!! DH wanted something like that for our kids. I chose to have more, he chose to have them really close in age (19mos).
So, we decided to have more while in the delivery room with DS1.
I had horrible PPD after DD was born, so if I hadn't gotten pregnant unexpectedly when she was 7 months, I'm not entirely sure we would have had another baby. Of course now that he's here, I cannot imagine life without him.
I think it's perfectly fine to be one and done. I also think it's great to have 2 (or more) children, if you can provide for them and if a big family is what you want.
Best of luck to you!
haha, It's so true! Our fairly easy baby has turned into a full blown handful. She's still pretty good, but since she's gotten mobile and has started teething, she's been a lot more work. It doesn't help matters that I'm pregnant and exhausted as it is.
I'm still really excited about having them close in age, though. It will work out!
We battled IF to concieved DD so we knew that if we wanted #2 that we would have to be aggressive (I have elevated FSH). Thankfully, our son came very easily and the timing shocked the heck out of us. If you had asked me 2 years ago if I would ever have 2u2 I would have looked at you like you had lost it. But here we are.
Everyone is different. You not being able to wrap your brain around 2u2 is no different than me not being able to wrap my brain around couples wanting to TTC in their first year of marriage. Different strokes....
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
We started to discuss TTC #2 when DD was around 6 months old. When she turned 10 months, we decided to actually start trying and I got pregnant that cycle. We'll most likely TTC #3 when DD2 is a year old.
Don't feel bad! First, you could absolutely just have one - there are lots of benefits and lots of new studies have shown that only children are just as happy and well-adjusted as kids with siblings.
Second, when DD was 4 months, I felt the same exact way you do and I always thought I wanted 3-4 kids! DD was not consistently STTN until about 6 months and at four months you've just started to realize how much better/easier things get when DC isn't a newborn anymore. It's terrifying to think about starting that over again!
DH was ready to start trying around 6 months, I pushed it back a couple more months, but that was mainly because I didn't want to be 9 months pregnant in the summer with a 1.5 year old! We had one early m/c and that loss really sealed the deal for us that we wanted another one. Luckily we got pg right away again and they will be about 20 months apart.
HTH!
DD february 2010 | DS october 2011
*please excuse my typos, bumping from my iphone*