How to tell an infertile friend I'm pregnant??

zinny13 · April 2011

Last night I was going to tell a friend of mine that my hubby and I were expecting. But, oddly enough, the minute she walked in my door she started yelling about how her brother in law and his wife are pregnant and how a few more of their friends back home are expecting. She is very upset because her husband had cancer when he was young and went through aggressive chemo treatment, thus inhibiting them from conceiving. I feel so sad for them and their situation, however, I don't want her to be the last to find out or worse, find out from someone else. How do I gently let her know about our situation without upsetting her (or as little as possible)???

Bride2b2004 · April 2011

First, I probably would not tell her until you are out of the first tri. IF often goes hand in hand with losses, and once you have had one (or seen someone close to you go through it) you realize how common and real they are and first tri news spillers seem like a ticking time bomb. When the time comes, I recommend sharing the news in a well drafted email. You will be able to word it well and she will be able to greet the news with whatever reaction she feels and then have time to become accustomed to the news before seeing you and reacting appropriately.

InfamousQBert · April 2011

seconding the PP. sometimes, email is the best approach, since neither of you have to worry about hurting the other's feelings with your reactions if they're not 100% positive. she'll be happy for you, but she'll still feel sad for herself. giving her the space to feel that sadness without adding guilt for not reacting "right" will be a good thing.

mom2b_09 · April 2011

I had this same situation. I just said that I wanted to be sensitive to her feelings and have her be the first of my friends to know, then I shared with her the news. We then cried, laughed and hugged together. We have been close for over 20 years so she completely understood.

katie052409 · April 2011

This is a very tough situation. Your friend will ultimately be very happy for you, but when people are trying to concieve and hear of everyone else getting pregnant it is very tough. I recommend emailing this friend. I did that for my cousin (who has been TTC) with baby #1 and I plan on doing it again with #2... Even though she knew we had struggled for years to get pregnant, it isnt any easier to hear. I wrote to her saying that the reason I chose email is so that she could react however she felt she needed to without worrying about offending me and when she was ready I would be there to talk. (I know I cried a lot when I heard of other people getting pregnant and we were 2+ years TTC) its not that I wasnt happy for them, but the "why not me" feelings were there. Email worked out really really well, so we will be telling her again in email next week (and asking her to be this one's Godmother)... It is a very difficult situation. If you search on the IF board, you will probably find a lot of threads with advice on this. Good luck!

aruiz82 · April 2011

I really hate people like that. How dare someone get upset about someone else's happiness just because they cant have what they want? Its so narcissistic.

OtterPop1 · April 2011

Hi Zinny!

First of all, thank you for being considerate of your friend's feelings. Infertility is so hard, and the caring support of family and friends is really important.

I would suggest you let your friend know via email rather than telling her in person. It will probably be difficult for her to hear, and she will probably appreciate the opportunity to take the time to process your news in her own time.

Also, here is a website that you might find helpful. There is one part that specifically addresses pregnancy.

https://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html

I hope this helps!

juwee · April 2011

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

greengirl0909 · April 2011

I went through this with my first pregnancy and one of my dearest friends. I actually chose to tell her in person because I thought it seemed more personal to do so. I started with telling her I didn't want to hurt her and let her know that I had lots of sadness for her and wished she was in my position, but that I was pregnant. I cried and she cried and we hugged and it was all good from there. Probably she was just venting to you and didn't realize what an awkward spot she'd put you in!

aruiz82 · April 2011

juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

ahm81 · April 2011

aruiz82:
I really hate people like that. How dare someone get upset about someone else's happiness just because they cant have what they want? Its so narcissistic.

Woah. I hope you never have to go through infertilty.

To the OP: I'm an infertile friend who's heard many "I'm pregnants" from friends over the years. They always sting but just because their success reminds me of my failures. Of course I am always happy for my loved ones though!

I agree with most everyone else. Do it in an email, and let her be one of the first friends to hear your news. What hurts the most is when I know friends are keeping the good news from me and I'm the last to find out.

Congrats on your pregnancy!

StephK86 · April 2011

Confused I really don't understand how you could even say that. Losing a child or unborn baby is never the same as losing a parent, dog, or not having a new television. That's just nonsense to even compare those things.

Anyways...After I lost my son and was trying again to get pregnant a good friend of mine got pregnant. She sent me a text message at 7:00 am needless to say that wasn't the best way. I like the email idea that way your friend doesn't have to feel uncomfortable if they need to cry or even be jealous for a minute. I am sure she will support you as I did my friend. I just needed some time to absorb the news. I was happy for her and since it was her first pregnancy I answered whatever she asked me. I know I am not infertile but I can relate to what youa re asking. Good for you for thinking of your friends feelings!

sweetpealee · April 2011

aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

While I understand your viewpoint that some people are very self- absorbed, I think that OP is much more concerned about being sensitive to her friend's feelings. I personally think it's admirable to be considerate and I appreciate this question being asked.

If a friend of mine has lost their father or mother, I'm certainly not going to call them on mother's day or father's day and talk about all the bonding we did. Just like how I wouldn't brag about how much I love my dog and how wonderful he is in front of a friend who recently had to euthanize their pet. I think sometimes when people become pregnant, they are very open to share their happiness and great news with everyone- which is really sweet, except that I think infertility or pregnancy losses are not something people are as open about- maybe partly because they are so painful. I think that losing a child or not being able to realize something as powerful as having children is a very difficult thing for people to just "get over themselves" about.

zinny13 · April 2011

Ladies-

Thank you so much for all your advice! While I am uncomfortable with the email suggestion, I actually think it is a good one. Maybe this will allow her time to feel how she wants to feel and react in any way she wants. Then, hopefully, when we meet up she can will be past any of those feelings that might not be directed at me, but still hurt. She really is a lovely person and I know what she is going through is tough. I definitely don't want to rub any of my good fortune in her face, but as a friend, I am excited to share this special experience with her. You all are great! thanks!

Dog

fivesecondrule · April 2011

I agree with the email. I might take it one more step and send a hand written note. Then she'll likely be at home when she reads it instead of work or someplace else. Good luck!

InfamousQBert · April 2011

sweetpealee:

While I understand your viewpoint that some people are very self- absorbed, I think that OP is much more concerned about being sensitive to her friend's feelings. I personally think it's admirable to be considerate and I appreciate this question being asked.

If a friend of mine has lost their father or mother, I'm certainly not going to call them on mother's day or father's day and talk about all the bonding we did. Just like how I wouldn't brag about how much I love my dog and how wonderful he is in front of a friend who recently had to euthanize their pet. I think sometimes when people become pregnant, they are very open to share their happiness and great news with everyone- which is really sweet, except that I think infertility or pregnancy losses are not something people are as open about- maybe partly because they are so painful. I think that losing a child or not being able to realize something as powerful as having children is a very difficult thing for people to just "get over themselves" about.

this. i've lost both of my parents and my friends don't have to hide the fact that they haven't. but they are sensitive to my feelings around certain holidays and events, which is apparently more than aruiz can be arsed to be for her friends. it's not about narcissim. it's about having human emotions and not being a robot.

OtterPop1 · April 2011

aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.
So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.
OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

No one is suggesting to the OP that she not say anything about her pregnancy to her friend. These were merely suggestions on how to be a kind and sensitive friend.

My husband lost both of his parents a few years ago. Does that mean I never speak of my parents? Of course not. Does that mean that I try to be sensitive about his feelings and how difficult certain situations are for him? You bet.

Equating infertility with wanting an expensive television is both silly and hurtful. Infertility is a disease that affects over 7 million people in the United States. Since infertility affects 1 in 8 couples, it is quite possible that someone you know is silently struggling with this disease.

OP, it sounds like you have a good plan. Best of luck to you!

Scout05 · April 2011

aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

Did you seriously just compare the pain of IF and the longing for a child to the desire for a flat screen TV?

Just checking.

aruiz82 · April 2011

Scout05:
aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

Did you seriously just compare the pain of IF and the longing for a child to the desire for a flat screen TV?

Just checking.

Yes, I think IF and the ridiculous measures people go to is silly and selfish and unhealthy. And thats my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

Scout05 · April 2011

aruiz82:
Scout05:
aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

Did you seriously just compare the pain of IF and the longing for a child to the desire for a flat screen TV?

Just checking.

Yes, I think IF and the ridiculous measures people go to is silly and selfish and unhealthy. And thats my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

You think having IF - which is a medical condition outside the control of the person who has it - is silly and selfish, and that measures they take to become pregnant - something you have been blessed with, I'm guessing without having to go through heartache first - is unhealthy. Okay.

I think you're an incredibly terrible person. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

Froggy76 · April 2011

aruiz82:
Scout05:
aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

Did you seriously just compare the pain of IF and the longing for a child to the desire for a flat screen TV?

Just checking.

Yes, I think IF and the ridiculous measures people go to is silly and selfish and unhealthy. And thats my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

Just consider yourself lucky that you didn't have to decide how far you're willing to go to become a mom. You're an insensitive a-hole.

damabo80 · April 2011

aruiz82:

Yes, I think IF and the ridiculous measures people go to is silly and selfish and unhealthy. And thats my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

Wow. You sound like a peach.

Out of curiosity, what exactly is silly and selfish about trying to procreate?

Or, should only those who don't try to get PG be able to get PG? I'm taking this to mean that only those 18 year olds who get knocked up on prom night should be able to have kids?

ETA: and my thoughts are confirmed....you are a troll. Proof. Way to be a halfway productive member of society. Win.

_______________________

And OP: I fully agree with the email route. I think you received a lot of good advice from the majority of the posters here. Good luck!

Mom2Cinderella · April 2011

I just had to chime in and say that I guess the struggles and pain we suffer with IF and pregnancy loss really do make us stronger and better people. Thank you Aruiz for being the first person to prove that statement to me.

mrs.gee · April 2011

Froggy76:
aruiz82:
Scout05:
aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

Did you seriously just compare the pain of IF and the longing for a child to the desire for a flat screen TV?

Just checking.

Yes, I think IF and the ridiculous measures people go to is silly and selfish and unhealthy. And thats my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

Just consider yourself lucky that you didn't have to decide how far you're willing to go to become a mom. You're an insensitive a-hole.

A.MEN. This makes me so mad I could spit.

OP: Having been on the receiving end, I agree email is best. I got an extremely thoughtful email from a close friend who found out she was pg around the same time I had my second m/c. She waited until she was out of her 1st tri and told me she wanted me to know she was pg, would have preferred not to tell me over email, but honestly didn't know how to lead on this topic and wanted to give me the space to process and respond when I felt comfortable. I have been a gracious and supportive friend to all of the [seemingly hundreds of] friends I have who are pregnant while I struggle. That doesn't mean every time I see one of them it's not like a kick in the gut and I smile through it. You are very thoughtful to consider your friend's feelings.

Saltina11 · April 2011

aruiz82:
Scout05:
aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

Did you seriously just compare the pain of IF and the longing for a child to the desire for a flat screen TV?

Just checking.

Yes, I think IF and the ridiculous measures people go to is silly and selfish and unhealthy. And thats my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

The insensitive things that people will post while anonymous on a message board never cease to amaze me. How exactly is it selfish and unhealthy to exhaust all available options to conceive a child? Indifferent

kathymarie · April 2011

aruiz82:
Scout05:
aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

Did you seriously just compare the pain of IF and the longing for a child to the desire for a flat screen TV?

Just checking.

Yes, I think IF and the ridiculous measures people go to is silly and selfish and unhealthy. And thats my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

Wow. What an asshole_. You clearly have no idea the hurt that comes with infertility and how consuming it is to one's life. Talk about people that need to get over themselves. Try and empathize with someone else.

aruiz82 · April 2011

I'm sorry to those I offended, I won't talk about my "unpopular opinion" again.

I'm a troll because my doctor touches my butt? Umm, okay.

smilelari · April 2011

aruiz82:
Scout05:
aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

Did you seriously just compare the pain of IF and the longing for a child to the desire for a flat screen TV?

Just checking.

Yes, I think IF and the ridiculous measures people go to is silly and selfish and unhealthy. And thats my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

I am sure you would feel differently if you ever walked in one of our shoes. Personally, I find your insensitivity to be selfish and unhealthy and somewhat juvenile.

OP - The means that you use to communicate will depend on the person, relationship, etc. Email does tend to work out really well so that your friend has some time to deal with her feelings and can talk to you about it when she's ready. If you do decide to do it in person, please do so in private so that she doesn't have to deal with her emotions in front of a bunch of people. Whatever her reaction is, I can assure you that she's happy for you. She's just sad for her.

babygirlpriest · April 2011

And here I was going to bother replying to the stupid... nevermind. Hi there Trolly-Troll.

To the OP:

As someone who is living with IF, thank you for your concern and all the PP are right. She's just pissed at the universe in general and will be thrilled for you. Based on your friendship, relationship to the DH, etc. I'd recommend one of a couple options.

Meet in person and tell her. My BFF did this when she got preg. but I knew she was ttc and she knew all about my struggles so we had a very honest relationship in which I could express both my joy for her and sadness for me and she understood.
Call/email her DH and ask what he thinks the best way is to tell her. It may be best coming from him when he can tell her privately and at home and be there to hug her vs. her randomly checking email at the office and seeing it.
Send the email. As others have said, this will give her time to adjust, feel sadness and be able to express her joy in a reply when she's ready.

As others have said, the worst thing is finding out third hand. Again - you're sweet to be concerned for her and btw - congrats on your good news.

sweetpealee · April 2011

Froggy76:
aruiz82:
Scout05:
aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

Did you seriously just compare the pain of IF and the longing for a child to the desire for a flat screen TV?

Just checking.

Yes, I think IF and the ridiculous measures people go to is silly and selfish and unhealthy. And thats my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

Just consider yourself lucky that you didn't have to decide how far you're willing to go to become a mom. You're an insensitive a-hole.

Yes

solnyshko79 · April 2011

aruiz82:
I really hate people like that. How dare someone get upset about someone else's happiness just because they cant have what they want? Its so narcissistic.

how can you even say that -narcissistic. ? do you know what IF does to you? it changes your mind, your perception of life, your values, everything. You are not yourself anymore. Please leave your ignorance for someone who appreciates it. I certainly do not.

MrsNash37212 · April 2011

Don't feed the troll. In the truest sense of the word. She obviously gets her jollies from hurting people and/or getting them riled up. Feel sorry for her, she obviously has one hell of a pathetic existence.

704bride · April 2011

aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.

So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.

OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.

Wow. Really? I take it you didn't have trouble conceiving or haven't suffered through a miscarriage? It's part of life? That's your reason for not being sensitive to what a friend is going through? I also just love how you compared longing for a child to really, really, really wanting a flat screen TV because they are certainly almost the same thing. I'd watch out if I were you because karma can be a b1tch, too.

To OP: I think I like the e-mail idea best, but don't just keep it super short and sweet. Put a lot of thought into it, so she understands why you're sending an e-mail instead of telling her in person.

bcheryl23 · April 2011

I stressed for days over telling my sister (my best friend) who has been trying to conceive for 7 years and has been through 2 MC. I did tell her over the phone and cried the entire time. She said whe was happy for me however it did sting. I think you just have to do it and eventually the pain will go away and she will ultimately be happy for you. Good Luck!!!

laurakaz13 · April 2011

lrachelle80:

aruiz82:
I really hate people like that. How dare someone get upset about someone else's happiness just because they cant have what they want? Its so narcissistic.

Clearly you've never experienced a loss or IF. You're asking them to have some sympathy and not be narcissistic; could you do the same for them? When I had friends announce their pregnancy right after our loss it stung like hell and it was hard to see and hear about. It didn't mean I wasn't happy for them, but it reminded me every time of what I'd lost (or, if I was going through IF, what I could never have). The friend wasn't yelling at the OP for being pregnant, she thought she was venting in a safe place - she didn't even know OP was pregnant. You have no idea how she is to those people face to face - very likely she puts on a happy face, and again, just was venting to the OP.

OP, email is a great idea.

Yup. Clearly you've been lucky enough to never go through IF. Good for you. Those of us who have, absolutely understand how hard it is to be in your friends shoes, OP.

When I got pregnant finally, I did e-mail a good friend of mine who still suffers from IF and let her know. That way she could be sad, upset, angry, etc. alone and see me when she was ready. I recommend this approach.

peanut107 · April 2011

MrsNash37212:
Don't feed the troll. In the truest sense of the word. She obviously gets her jollies from hurting people and/or getting them riled up. Feel sorry for her, she obviously has one hell of a pathetic existence.

This!

OP- I think the email would be a good idea as well.

GoldenPeaches · April 2011

aruiz82:
I really hate people like that. How dare someone get upset about someone else's happiness just because they cant have what they want? Its so narcissistic.

I really hate people like you.

LilMaggs · April 2011

aruiz82:
Scout05:
aruiz82:
juwee:

PP- They are not getting upset about someone else's happiness. Trust me. It is a sobering reminder that they are broken, and are trying everything they can to achieve what is so easy for others.
So, please don't "assume" they are upset with you. And also, if you have not been in their shoes do NOT judge.
OP- If they are as good a friend as you say, just tell her. It will hurt, but I PROMISE she will be happy for you!

Its part of life. If someone has lost a parent or like, was adopted should you never talk about your parents in front of them? If they lose their dog, should you hide your dog when they come over? If someone really really really wants a flat screen TV but cant afford it, should you throw a sheet over yours? People need to get over themselves.
Did you seriously just compare the pain of IF and the longing for a child to the desire for a flat screen TV?
Just checking.

Yes, I think IF and the ridiculous measures people go to is silly and selfish and unhealthy. And thats my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

You're a cvnt. DIAF.

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