One of my good friends just posted this on FB:
"Hypothetically speaking, How many people would find it appropriate to let their 14 year old daughter go on vacation with their "boyfriends" family to Myrtle Beach during spring break time? Just curious?"
I was surprised how many would be ok with it. Really? She's 14. There is absolutely no reason to vacation with your boyfriend at that age.
WDYT?
Re: Would you let your 14 y.o. vacation with her boyfriend?
exactly what popped in my head
NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!!
No way!
No how!
NEVER!
Not until my DD is 18.
Initially I was thinking no way.
Then I thought about it and I don't know. It depends - on the kids, his parents, where they are going, for how long, sleeping quarters, etc.
So actually, I can't answer this. I don't have a 14 year old and I have no idea what my response will be when I do have one.
I don't even use that expression and that's exactly what popped into my head.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
It doesn't matter to me if it was a long time, old family friend who we invite the parents over every Saturday for grilling and beers.....
To me, its like saying "hey honey, you are only 14 and I think its GREAT that you are in this relationship with this boy, so we are going to treat you like an adult and let you vacation together."
I mean, would you let her spend the night at the boys house?? To me its essentially the same..even if its a different room. And I wouldn't allow that either.
However---now I'm remembering that my sister when she was 16, almost 17, brought her boyfriend to our family vacation. But it was mostly because my parents felt sorry for this boy who had NEVER travelled outside the state of Nebraska. But the boy slept on the couch of the condo, sis in the bedroom.
I don't know all the details, but she has been dating him for a while, I think.
A lot of the responses were that if you knew the parents well enough, then maybe, etc, but I just don't see the point. Why do they have to vacation together at 14? We're not talking 18. At 14, they should be having some time apart and not trying to have a relationship that models an adult's.
I can't really pinpoint WHY but to me, sleeping over someone's house is totally different than vacationing with them. Well, i guess I can pinpoint why. There is NO reason to sleep over their house. I mean, assuming you live close to each other, right? But vacation is different.
Again, I don't know. I just don't feel strongly one way or the other. FWIW, my boyfriend went camping with me and my family when I was 15/16. He wasn't allowed to sleep in the camper with me (he actually had to sleep in a tent outside the camper). Doesn't mean we didn't take some opportunities to eff around but hey, we were doing that at home too (I didn't lose my virginity on vacation with him! LOL)!
The thing is there is NO NEED to bring a bf/gf on vacation at that age....he or she should be inviting a best friend. And I hope at that age my DD's (and DS) are hanging out with their best friends as much as they are hanging out with their bf/gf. If not, then like Yodajo said, a vacation is a perfect break to get away.
Bring a same sex friend. I mean, seriously, if you can't spend a week away from a SO at the age of 14, then there are some issues. Relationships shouldn't be THAT serious.
I'd probably be okay with it, just because I would assume the situation would be one where the families were good friends.
Jeff would definitely NOT be okay with it so it probably wouldn't happen.
I'd like to think if my daughter had a "boyfriend" at age 14, it'd be more a situation of him sort of being her best friend, and not really a BF/GF relationship. That's potentially naive, but at the same time, I don't see me allowing my kids to date for real that early anyhow.
I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. I don't see that being any different in our house. Unless Jeff wins and makes the dating age 30.
I probably wouldn't. I went on vacation with DH's family when I was 17. We slept in rooms on opposite sides of the cabin, but we met in the middle during the night. Of course, we were having sex everywhere would could at that point--vacation or not. We were very creative.
I dread the teen years. So does DH.
ETA: I probably wouldn't have had sex at age 14, not even with DH.
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter
"><a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"><img border="0" src="http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/825/1820/8251820.png" /></a><p style="text-align:center;width:420px;"><small>Created by MyFitnessPal - Free <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com">Calorie Counter</a></small></p>It's hard to say without knowing what kind of kid DS will be or who/if he'll be dating be when he's 14. I think as long as I know the family and knew they would be sleeping in different rooms/kept an eye on, sure. I may be more inclined based on the location/travel/vaca. Actually, I sort of see DH & I inviting DS's friend/GF on weekend getaways and vacations.
Christmas 2011
Now if either of the kids had a wild streak, no way. My brother had a friend whose parents let their son's gf sleep over every weekend at age 14. Lord only knows what those two did...
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
Sounds like a 'romantic' way for her to lose her virginity, if she hasn't done so already. :P
That's the thing. I really don't want to make it easy for my 14 year old (= 8th grade/HS freshman) to have sex. I'd like to make it as difficult as possible, frankly. Even if DD does have a BF at that age (I highly doubt, she probably won't be allowed to date at that age), time apart is good. I hate hate hate seeing girls that age all over their BF's and all pissy because it's been 6 hours since they've seen each other. She can hate me all day long for not allowing a boy on vacation.
Christmas 2011
I agree that if they're going to have sex, they'll do it where ever, regardless of location. Sex isn't the thing that comes to mind first or bothers me most when I think about this though. I just don't understand encouraging/allowing/whatever this level of commitment with a 14 year old. They're not old family friends that happen to be dating.
Goose! I am hurt - you wouldn't let P vacay with us?
lol!
In all honesty, we joke about Scarlett's godfather's son (who is due in early May) as being her boyfriend. I'd let her vacation with them at 14, but probably no one else.
Maybe not at 14...but I might let the boy come on vacation with us. It depends. My SIL was going to let my neice bring her boyfriend on vacation last summer; my neice was 16 and almost 17 though. So those years might make a difference.
So maybe not at 14, but maybe a few years later the kid could come with us and maybe DD could go with them. It would depend heavily on how well I knew the family and how much I trusted them. I kinda hope my 14 doesn't have a boyfriend, but I know that's probably naive.
LOL! Well, NATCH I'd let her vacay with you guys. I'm just talking about the boy P might see while she and Jack are "on a break."
lmao!
let's be honest though - if our kids are vacationing together, WE are vacationing together. So you'd be along with P so we could get drunk together on the beach.
That's what I was thinking. Honestly, I think they should be worrying about the trouble WE'D be getting into.
DOOOOOOOOOOD. Will is crying right now.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
FACT.
We'd probably embarrass the sh*t out of them.
Bubbly, Will can vacay with Scarlett on HHI whenever he likes, but when she is 14, he might not be able to because he will be an OLDER MAN and she will be JAILBAIT.
I'm just looking out for my FSIL!
DEAD.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
100% agree with this.