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Preemies
Can I bring home my DD against medical advice?
I'm new, and I know this may get flames. But bear with me here for a minute.
I know as an adult if you're in the hospital, you can sign a form and discharge yourself against medical advice to stay. I'm wondering if you have that same right for your child?
My DD was born on 4/9 at 2:32pm and was taken immediately to the NICU and put on a CPAP to help with breathing. She was taken off the CPAP and has had all of her feedings by bottle since 11pm 4/9. She was 36w4d. So, a late preemie, but considered a preemie none the less.
She was going to be released from the NICU to our room last night, but they kept her in the NICU for monitoring because they heard a slight murmur and she has a little jaundice. (They haven't done the blood work so they don't know her count on the jaundice.)
I'm supposed to be released tomorrow and I want to find out if legally, I can bring her with me even if they tell me they believe she should stay.
I want to make it clear that I will obviously listen to whatever their reason for wanting her to stay and know what they believe the risk is. I'm not foolish. If she needs to be here, she should absolutely be here.
But I don't believe a murmur and jaundice are reason for the NICU. Both can be followed up with her pediatrician, which I can get her in whenever I want. Obviously if her jaundice is very high, that's different. But I know jaundice can be treated as an outpatient procedure because we did that with my DD2.
Part of me feels like at this point they are protecting themselves, not her. I've given her every feeding and changed every diaper and watched her monitors for over 24 hours. She's had absolutely no breathing issues and she's eating like a champ.
I think they should have released her to my room, but I didn't fight this. However, depending on the circumstance, I will ask to bring her home with me if I don't feel like her condition requires constant medical monitoring.
I'm just curious if this is legal, and if I have this right for my DD?
Chelsea; 7/22/2005 Carissa; 4/9/2011 Cassidy; 9/6/2012
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Can I bring home my DD against medical advice?
I don't know what your legal rights are but I just want to say that as hard as it is to leave your baby at the hospital when you are discharged, bringing her back to the NICU after you've been home would be worse. I've watched several parents who have had to return to the hospital (some for the exact reasons they want to keep your DD) and it has been really hard for them. I'll also add that in the last six weeks of basically living in the NICU, I haven't seen the doctors keep a single baby longer than they should have.
Good luck and I hope your DD's jaundice and murmur get the all clear quickly!
Our precious girl, born at 27 weeks.
Thank you. I'm just praying it's resolving itself and they release her today. I'm sure, when it comes down to it, I'm all talk and no bite. If a doctor tells me my baby is safer here, then I don't really think I'd be able to fight it.
sigh. I hate the NICU. And I'm sorry your stay has been so long. I know in comparison, I have such an easier road ahead of us than most. If we have to leave her, it shouldn't be too long.
Again, thanks.
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
I'm really not trying to be snarky or biitchy (I promise!), but I really don't understand why you would think that you know better than the NICU doctors? Do you have a medical degree? If they believe she needs to stay - what is a few more days in the long run? I have never seen a NICU doctor keep a child longer than necessary - they want you to take them home as much as you want to. I really don't understand your thought process at all.
ETA: Good Luck
I really hope you get to bring DD home soon and everything resolves itself. (Bump posted before I was finished!)
Thank you. I know. I'm just frustrated. And, haven't slept, literally, in days. I think this was just my middle of the night, I'm gonna figure out how to get my baby home, sleep-deprived ramblings. I know I wouldn't actually fight a doctor's judgement.
sigh. Sorry for this post. I feel like crap all around.
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
yes, this. It's hard to leave the hospital without your baby...it sucks!!! Trust the doctors.
And I don't think you would have much of a legal case - they'd argue about what was in the best interest for the child, and that their drs are the best informed about that.
Good luck!
Please don't feel sorry - we all need a little reality check once in awhile
The NICU is an emotionally draining place mixed with lack of sleep - sometimes you dont always think properly. Your little girl will come home when she's ready and healthy. Everyday when I was there I kept saying to myself - "This is just days/weeks/months - in order to have them for a lifetime". I really hope she gets to come home ASAP for you 
ITA with all of this. It sounds like she'll only be in there another few days, max, anyway. Better safe than sorry.
In addition to what everyone else has said, I just wanted to add that if you do take her home AMA, there's a good chance your insurance will not pay for the treatment she received while she was there. I'm not sure about the ins and outs, but I have seen it discussed on here (or another board) before.
I know the thought of leaving her there sucks, but I can't imagine they'd be doing that if they didn't think it was necessary. Maybe you can get some more answers today as to why they want to keep her and it will make more sense to you. Either way, I wish you both the best and hope you are both home soon.
I work on a mom/bay unit and in our state, parents CANNOT take their babies from the hospital AMA. They can check themselves out, but the babies stay until properly discharged by the MD. If parents try, legal matters follow.
Plus, as someone else stated, when you leave AMA, your insurance will no longer pay for your medical bills for your entire stay. And let me tell you, those first few days of NICU are not cheap!
I know NICU is tough, we were there for 7 weeks, but it is best to listen to your doctors and makes sure your baby is 100% ready. Better discharged too late, than too early.
Thank you all for the advice and kind words. She's not coming home with us today. After some crying from H and I together, we've come to terms, sort of.
I know walking out the door in an hour is going to be terrible. But I also know she's safe.
Thanks again, ladies. This board is honestly amazing. I feel so weird to say I have a preemie, because she's just barely a preemie. But it's a roller coaster ride just the same.
Best of luck to everyone here.
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
Echoing what PP have said, it is hard but it really is for the best. DD needed medication to make her murmur go away and was under the bili lights for 2 weeks. I hope that your LO is well enough to take home soon but in the mean time think of it this way - if you took LO home AMA and something happened, would you ever forgive yourself?
I agree with this post. I work at a childrens hospital and all they have to do is call a judge and have him or her sign a paper taking your rights away for heath reasons. If they believe it will drastically effect your childs health. If the doctors say your baby needs to be there, then the baby needs to stay. Insurance does not pay for 1 extra minute of care and the hospital knows this. They will not keep your babyif it is not needed. I am sorry you and your baby may be faced with a possible NICU admission, but they are looking out for the interest of the baby, they know you don't want to leave your baby, but that is not the priority. Their priority is to keep your baby healthy end of story. Sorry if snarky, I deal with this all the time. I hope all goes well with you and your baby, try to get some sleep- you will feel so much better and have a clearer mind.