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Family meeting baby... should I just let it go?

SallyAnneSSallyAnneS member
in Pregnant after IF

Okay, so here is where my head has been at the past few days...

I am VERY concerned about the family politics concerning everyone meeting the baby after it is born.  I know that my mom and DH will both be at the hospital with me for the entire L&D process.  With DH saying in the room for delivery and mom my going out to the waiting room.  I also know the my brother is SUPER excited and is going to be waiting in the waiting room for most of my L&D (as soon as he can get there from work).   My mom's boyfriend (that I am super close with) will also be coming to the hospital after he can get off work to hopefully be waiting before LO is born.  I hope that my in-laws will also come to the hospital to wait while I am in delivery to meet LO right after birth (two parents, 3 sisters, 1 BIL, 2 kids).  So this is all good and I am happy with all of this.  My concern is my dad.  I don't know at this point what his plan is.  I am thinking he will want to be waiting there as well.  Which would be great.  But I am concerned that he will bring his fianc? (who I have only met once).  I don't think it is really fair for her to be able to meet and hold the baby at the same time as everyone else.  I pretty much don't even know her and what I know I don?t like!

I should also mention that the hospital depending on which nurse you have will either let 2 people in at a time or let everyone in for 15 minutes and then kick everyone back out of my room so I can rest.  I am going to ask my nurse to do the 15 minute visit with everyone and then everyone can meet at the same time and then go away.  I don't want to have visitors for hours on end right away.   I am going to ask the nurse to make sure that my mom gets to hold the baby first out of the family. And then my mom knows to give the baby to DH's mom.  (DH?s mom has two grandkids already, so it seems far that mom gets to hold my baby first) After that I don't really care what happens. The grandma politics will be out of the way.  But I am concerned with my dad's finance holding the LO before all the siblings and that sort of thing. 

idk... maybe I am making a big deal out of nothing.  What do you think?

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Re: Family meeting baby... should I just let it go?

  • ginogomermisserginogomermisser member

    Ummmm tough one.....I agree that family should be holding her first. As far as your dad bringing his fiance....you bet he will bring her. Maybe make sure that your mom is aware of your wishes. I really dont think that you will be able to avoid her holding LO especially after LO is released...

    This is so tough....Maybe request only immediate family to the nurses, to include immediate grandparents and uncle...possible??

    I was just wondering if you are the same poster that had an issue with you traveling to meet fiance for your birthday??? If not, I apologize.

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  • SallyAnneSSallyAnneS member

    Yep I'm that same poster!  And dinner was ackward! Not to mention her commenting that should have more kids because "pregnancy looks good on me" and that I haven't gained any weight!  Umm since you have never seen me before how do you know if I have gained any weight.  Blah. 

    I think the most ackward part of everyone meeting is going to be that I love, love, love my mom's boyfriend.  He has been around for 3 years and also dealt with some IF with his former wife so he really understood what we were facing and was very compassionate and is SO excited now for us.  So I can't say that only immediate family can see LO because this would mean he couldn't. 

    Maybe I will be so tired and out of it that I won't care at all??  I think I will have that talk with my dad to see what his plans are.  I would love for him to be there at the first meeting.  Maybe I could just suggest that she comes by and visits later in the day.  idk. 

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  • ginogomermisserginogomermisser member

    I wouldnt stress yourself out so much....just from the post that I recall from a few weeks ago, perhaps you should call your dad and say that you are requesting immediate family be present. Maybe he'll get the hint. Perhaps, say "Is [fiance's name] coming by later??? If I recall correctly, the hospital is probably a distance from his house. If thats the case, they will probably come together.

    Honestly hun, give you wishes to your mother and nurses. Other than that, its the best you can do. You probably will just be sooo excited and exhausted to care. Family does come first though, I agree with that :) 

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