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3rd Trimester
jencastorri
member
DH is so unsympathetic
jencastorri
member
Yesterday my kids wanted to ride bikes to DH's office, which is located on the college campus we live on. Its not even a mile away. I was riding my bike everywhere and everyday until I was 5 months along, then I was diagnosed with placenta previa so I took a break from it to avoid any problems like falling and risking abruption. ( I no longer have placenta previa) Anywho....we had not even made it half way there when I got some pretty intense contractions. I got off the bike and told DH that I had to walk. I get BH all the time, but these contractions yesterday were painful. You might think I could get some sympathy for my efforts and pain, but no. He says "oh I bet youre fine" "we're almost there" In general, my husband and I find it hard to be sympathetic to alot of things, but Im 8 months pregnant with our third child for God's sake! I finally waddled the rest of the way to his office and plopped myself on the couch until I felt better. My point is.....does anyone else have a hubby/ partner who is less than sympathetic?
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Re: DH is so unsympathetic
Oh, I am with ya! I think that part of this is my fault though because I never complain, never ask him to do anything for me and I guess he just figures that the times that I do say something are so few and far between that maybe he doesn't need to be? Who knows what the hell goes on in his head. All I know is that he better thank his luck stars that I am not one of those whiny, bitchy pregnant ladies. He wouldn't be able to handle it!
Amen to this! I couldnt agree more!
Sometimes he is--sometimes not. I wish he could feel what I am feeling---- from the pressure, to the peeing to, to the carpal tunnel---to the waddling--sciatic--everything. Oh--and don't forget the feeling of being cut open for a c-section or a baby coming out of the vag.
If they could feel what we were feeling I think society would end.
My new "mom" blog: http://realityofamommy.blogspot.com
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Notes:
No problem, Ive been married 6.5 years so I knew what you meant!
I disagree. My DH was alot more sympathetic when I was pregnant with our first...as he should have been considering I had to quit playing college soccer and move all at the age of 19. I hope your hubby stays like he is now, but I wouldnt bank on it. Congrats to you though! Im jealous.
Sounds like someone needs to be cut off in the bedroom! I havent had a job since I was pregnant with our second, but either way.....my hubby knows better than to say I dont work as hard as him. Staying at home with kids is a job in itself. My DH isnt the type to get up in the middle of the night, so I can imagine he would do the same thing if the dog were bothering him.
I think my DH is one of the most unsympathetic people ever! unless it's his DD from previous marriage then over kill on the sympathy. Lets just say that this has been a huge problem source for us. He expects the world of me and I have to say at 34 weeks I am miserable but I get no sympathy at all. In fact he actually laughed when I showed him how I could barely fit my feet into my shoes whilst heading to my weekend waitressing job. When I flipped out and he called later to apologize he said that his ex wife and his friends wife worked right up until they were almost due. Yeah my hormones pretty much turned me into a crazy lady by that point! first of all I am in school FULL time 5 days a week then work fri and sat nights til 11pm on my knees cleaning floors etc.. at 8 months pregnant! My school work is equivalent to their office jobs where there's a little more freedom in open toed shoes etc.. still can't get over his comparison regardless of the analogy I am not in the frame of mind or mood to take any crap like that.
That is just the tip of the iceberg... Unsympathetic doesn't even cut it.
This exactly!
Yep, this is me!
I doubt that will change his general disposition of being an empathetic, caring person.
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Maybe so, however one must be prepared. Caring for another is a lot of hard work. Men are not, by design, care givers. You are in the "unicorns and rainbows" phase of your marriage right now. Let him get comfortable in your marriage, have the toddler around for a bit. Get knocked up again and watch the story change. Now not only does he have to find the energy to care for you and be empathetic to you but to a demanding toddler. Men are not capeable of doing this. He is not going to come home from work and take a toddler to the park while you take a little nap and rest your weary bones. He is going to want to know what's for dinner as he smacks you in the ass on the way to his easy chair.
WhatJustHappened, I'm sorry you're so unhappy in your own marriage, but many men DON'T change just because you "get knocked up again and have a toddler around for a bit." A happy marriage is generally a happy marriage, and in most cases, there are warning signs from the beginning if things are due to head South in the future. Just because your husband doesn't come home and offer to take the kids to the park doesn't mean there aren't men out there who do - there is nothing more shameful than trying to give a "reality check" to a person who's happily married just because of your own bitterness. A marriage is a fantastic place to exercise the notion of "what we fear, we create." If your marriage is unhappy and unfair, I'm really sorry to hear it, but taking it out on those who are blissfully happy isn't fair at all.
WOAH.....pump your breaks bananna face.....let what's her name defend her own marriage. Valiant effort, however.
Lighten up.