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Why can the right decision feel so wrong??

hpfreak2011hpfreak2011 member
in Phoenix Babies

My family just visited Avondale/Goodyear and we fell in love! We are selling our house and moving down there as soon as we can. We have job and school oppoptunities there and cant wait to have a fresh start to our lives!! Where we live, there is no room for growth, no job opportunities, nothing..... dead end jobs and living paycheck to paycheck.

Here is the problem.... my family is devistated that we are choosing to move 1200 miles away. I am heartbroken about it as well. I was on the phone with my grandma today talking about moving and she started crying and told me her heart was breaking. That of course made me bawl too. She said that she is afraid of never seeing me, my husband and my kids again.... which of course is not true. We will be visiting at least once a year and hopefully twice. We are also gonna try to fly them down there too.

I just know that we are making the right decision by moving..... but why does it have to break my family's hearts and mine as well??

 

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Re: Why can the right decision feel so wrong??

  • dreamtrue80dreamtrue80
    My DH and I left my family in Oregon to move down here as well (I grew up in Cheyenne though). His family is in Hawaii, Minnesotta, and Louisiana. This is the first time in my life I've lived more then a couple miles from parents and sister. They were heartbroken when we left and my mom still starts crying every time we talk. The one thing that helped was that she told me when I was little and we moved away from her and my dad's families to go to Wyoming was that when you have a family, you have to do what is best for your family. When you marry and have children you have to do everything in your power to give them the best life possible, and if that means leaving everyone and everything you know, that's just what you have to do. Besides then it gives everyone somewhere to vacation too. Your Grandmother will love visiting Phoenix in the winter when it's in the 60's and 70's and Wyoming is freezing and covered in snow.
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  • mselissabmselissab

    Awww! Hugs!  It can be really hard to leave your family.  I moved to Phoenix and left my family in Nebraska/Iowa, so I know how you feel. 

     The thing your family needs to recognize is that you aren't choosing to leave them, you are choosing a better life for your family. If you could pick a better life living where you live - don't they think you'd choose that instead of leaving?  Moving is just an unfortunate consequence of making your life better.  People have been moving to find better lives since the beginning of time.  It happens. 

     For me, my least favorite part of my move has been the fact that most of my vacation time and budget is spent going back to see my family.  But that's a choice I made when I moved.  You're grandma is probably concerned she'll never see you again because in her day, when people left town, they didn't come back.  For me, the thing that helps with the sadness from conversations like the one you had with your grandma is "what do you mean I'll never see you again? I'm planning on coming back for ______!"  Usually I have something planned where I'll see my parents and grandparents sometime in the next 6 months.  Maybe that would help you.  Make a plan with your family when you'll be back (even if you haven't moved yet) - you can always change your plans later but it might help them (and you!) to know that you plan on coming back for something, like Christmas.

     

    *hugs* and good luck with the move!

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  • monkeybellymonkeybelly
    What time of year did you visit? Bet it wasn't in the summer or you wouldn't have loved it so much. Hope you survive your first summer out here. 
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  • nicolem528nicolem528
    Didn't you just post this on the Phoenix Nestie page a week ago? Good luck with the move :)
    Anniversary
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  • brandon_ent@hotmail.combrandon_ent@hotmail.com

    Doing what is best, is seldom easy, or everyone would be doing it...

    Your family has lived their lives and made their decisions, now it is time for your to make yours. Do what is best for you and your family and you will never look back with regret. It might bring short term pain, but focus on the long term goals. No one's heart is actually broken, merely wounded by the immediate loss. When they see you and everyone in your family prosper as a result of the move, they will be proud of what you have accomplished, and happy for you. Just remember to do as you say and keep them close. Keep them in your thoughts and prayers, visit often and send them photos and videos regularly. That will help to close the distance. Hope this helps 

     

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