Lonely

EmandChris08 · April 2011

I've always been a pretty independent person and never really minded spending time alone... so I've been really surprised to find that I've been feeling really lonely ever since I've been home on maternity leave.

I absolutely love being home with LO, and I don't like to think about having to go back to work because I don't want to leave him... but at the same time, I am craving adult interaction. We've plenty of visitors since we've been home, but the majority of my day is spent home alone with LO. I feel like every day is the same... I guess that's mostly because I haven't really been able to take him out anywhere yet, so we're stuck in the house all day.

It was a lot better the first week because DH was home with me and was super involved, but now he's back at work, and things are really busy with his work, so it seems like he's barely ever home... and when he is home, he either has to do yard work or is sleeping because he's so exhausted from work. It's frustrating because I wait all day for him to come home so I'll have someone to talk to/hang out with, and then I see him for like an hour before bed.

I know things will get better soon, but I'm hoping I'm not the only one who feels this way! I'm planning to start taking a "post-baby" exercise class once I hit 6 weeks... but any other suggestions for how I can feel more "in touch" with the outside world??

amy259 · April 2011

I have had these moments before I had LO too since I was a SAHW and we have no friends or family here. My plan is to join a stroller strides group, you should look to see if there is one in the area. Also, I mentioned in another post that there is a group of women in my area that are doula's, LC's among other things. They offer infant massage, a support group called "Weigh to go" for BF moms so you could look into something like that. Hang in there though enjoy all the moments with your LO. I practically jump on my husband when he gets home to have some adult interaction, he loves it... Stick out tongue

He tells me there are two things he wants silence and bj's. He gets neither at this point. (Hopefully no offense is taken ladies)

1Mrs.Jones · April 2011

I feel like I could have written this post- I have been feeling the same way, down to DH working super long hours and only seeing him for an hour before bed when he comes home. The last two girls at work who had babies didn't allow any visitors until their LOs were 2 months (one due to ppd and one was very germ conscious) ... all that people talked about was how they wanted to visit but they knew the girls didn't want them too. so the people from work who have been sending us meals have been sending them with my BIL who lives with us and goes to school where we work ... instead of coming by.

It's mostly when LO is sleeping during the day that I feel this way- I usually just bump.

The exercise class is a great idea. Today I made a mental list of other moms that I am friends with who have LOs under 2 years old and are home during the day.. I am going to try calling one person each day during LOs afternoon nap to give myself some adult time.

When can we start play dates?

optimist13 · April 2011

i'm the same way, i go online when i get a chance and IM with people at work to keep up to date with whats going on there.

Kayteagirl · April 2011

I agree with the pp, this seems to happen to all of us, especially in the beginning when you can't get out too much. For me, having a few friends that know I'm lonely that text daily have helped a ton. I can text back when LO is sleeping and it doesn't interrupt if I'm busy with her.

Also, even a short trip out to the grocery or post office help too. It seems like everyone wants to say hi when hyou have a baby, so you will get some adult conversation (even if it's about the baby).

mrsjanks · April 2011

Weeks 3-5 were the hardest on me. Things are getting better now, and I think my hormones are starting to settle back down too. Two more weeks of maternity leave before I'm back to work. But school is out May 21, so I won't have to leave him for too long.

gullterre · April 2011

Hang in there! My last long term visitors just left today, so I have a feeling I will be in your position soon. I plan on taking little trips to local parks and walking Jamie in his stroller. I also have a few local friends and my mom who I can ask to come by for a bit in the afternoons. Do you have anyone nearby who can drop by for a short visit once or twice a week? Also, a little trip to the mall, maybe eat in the food court, could help. Maybe go to a bookstore and sit and read magazines and have a coffee while baby sleeps.

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