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Having "antepartum depression" (long, sorry)

Amanda&EricBAmanda&EricB member
in Postpartum Depression

That probably sounds stupid. I've had depression for many years. It was officially diagnosed in my teens but due to severe abuse as a younger child, my guess is, it started way before I was diagnosed. I've been on meds for years, for the depression, but also for severe social anxiety and PTSD.

I went off my meds when I got pregnant, with the mutual understanding (between me, my therapist, and my psychiatrist) that if things got bad, I would go on something mild to get me through the rest of my pregnancy. If I managed to be ok without any meds through the majority of my pregnancy, I agreed to go on something (again, something mild- not what I was on before the pregnancy), halfway through my 3rd trimester so that it would have time to build up in my system before I gave birth. This thought process was meant to try and combat PPD, which of course I'm at great risk for.

Lately, however (say, the last 2 weeks), I've noticed increasing signs that my depression is getting worse. My therapist and I discussed it at length yesterday and he is concerned. He said we would give it another week and watch it closely (I am under an incredible amount of stress right now with many things in my life, so we are thinking that might be partially the cause of these symptoms), but if it continues he would like me to meet with my psychiatrist and also involve my OB.

My mom has lung cancer and is in the middle of chemo and is starting radiation next week, my DH and I are living with his family due to our house being gutted and redone- this project was started before we got pregnant, otherwise the situation would be different. A very good friend of mine has changed DRAMATICALLY after the birth of her child almost a year ago and it's starting to wear on me. My social anxiety prevents me from leaving the house somedays and therefore feel very isolated. And the list goes on and on.

I am petrified of going on meds. I carry a lot of guilt (and I'm not even on meds at this time!) of taking meds and something happening to the baby. I know many women take meds during pregnancy and their babies are completely healthy. So why can't I wrap my mind around the idea?

I want to enjoy my pregnancy, but am finding it hard to enjoy anything right now. :(

Thanks for listening.

Wyatt 9/6/2011 
Tessa 7/5/2013
Baby #3- ????? (ttc soon)


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Re: Having "antepartum depression" (long, sorry)

  • MrsBraunMrsBraun

    I'm so sorry for all your hard times. That sounds like a lot to deal with.

    That being said, I would most definitely think about starting meds now while you are still pregnant. There are many meds that are safe to take in 3rd tri, and if it makes you feel better, why not? Leaving this depression could put you and your baby at major risk if left untreated. You could harm the baby. You could harm yourself. You just never know. GL to you.

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  • Maggee206Maggee206
    Definitely tell your OB...s/he can help you through it maybe even alternative therapy.
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