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March 2011 Moms
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dh help... sleepless nights...

thebubble09thebubble09 member
in March 2011 Moms
im really having a tough time with DH in the middle of the night.  LO is still sleeping in our room in her pnp- she's movin to the crib tonight to celebrate her 1 month bday i think.... DH never wakes up with her.  he sleeps so deeply he just doesn't hear her.  when i ask him to try a diaper change or to give her back her paci he says okay but then he falls immediately back to sleep.  its not his fault at all, but it makes me so angry.  i feel so angry up all night with her breastfeeding- some of which is comfort feeding which our pedi told us to stop right away at night- bfing is really painful for me and im still in pain from my c-section.  nights are really really hard for me right now and she's up for most of hte night in half hour or so increments.  when i said something to dh this am about it, he said he's sorry and he'll try harder but its his only timeto sleep because he can't nap so his body just is falling deeply to sleep for those five or so hours.  that really pissed me off because i barely nap during the day- maybe 2 half hour naps if im really lucky- and i'm only getting to sleep for an hour at a time at night IF that!  i am exhausted and i felt like he really really didn't understand at all.  i woke up crying this morning because i am just. so. tired.  anyone else?
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Re: dh help... sleepless nights...

  • soontobehimessoontobehimes

    Yes! My husband went back to work, but I don't feel like I should be the only one getting up at night. Our LO has her days and nights mixed up BAD. She was awake last night from 3:30-7:30 am! I don't get any naps because there's so much to do during the day. It doesn't help that when I am asleep, the slightest little sound wakes me up because I'm so worried about her.

    We just need to get through the next month or so and hopefully we'll start getting some more sleep! I never knew I could be this exhausted and still functioning..

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  • KayteagirlKayteagirl

    My LO is six weeks today and is finally starting to sleep a little longer at night (5 hours-ish).  But I have the same problem with my DH, he just doesn't hear her so I've been the one up all night.

     What we've done that helps a ton is, I go to bed about 9 and he stays up with her until 12 or so...that way I get a head start on some sleep.  Maybe you can work something like that out so you get a little guaranteed shut-eye...although with bf-ing that makes it harder.

     Anyway, time will help...when LO was 2 weeks old I didn't think I was going to make it...now we are doing swimmingly!  Hang in there Mama!

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  • hrushka13hrushka13 member
    I can't get my DH to help at night, so I decided not to try anymore. LIke PP said may be you can go to sleep a little earlier like 9 pm and he stays up little longer? My DH helps with 8 am shift  as I pick up the 4 am shift, sometimes I get to sleep 5 am to 10 am.. so may be instead of him helping out at the times where he can't wake up in the middle of his sleep and go back to it, go around the time when he should wake up or before he goes to bed. And if you are BFing, may be you can pump a bottle for him to feed the baby? Hopefully you figure something where he can help you out and you get more rest! 
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  • rrobert267rrobert267

    We are going through the same thing. My hunny is actually preparing to fly over seas for work next week. When he is "around" he is doing errands for his other projects. He comes home and wonders why I am exhausted. I get excited when she sleeps for 3 hours. I don't know if I know how to sleep a full night any more. I have crying moments all the time when I am just SOO exhausted.

     

    No one told me how horrible the first months are. I feel like I won't make it.

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  • barcelonagirlbarcelonagirl member
    I second the evening nap/earlier bedtime.  I take a nap every night between approx 9-11.  It helps keep me sane!
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  • MissYouDietCokeMissYouDietCoke

    My DH would tell him he needs to sack up. 

     

    I'm sorry you have to deal with this! :( 

    Baby Boy Born 3.15.11. 8lb 9oz, 21.75in. 6 month stats: 20lb 11oz (92%tile), 30.12in.(100%tile - who knew it went over 99th? Which means 100% of other 6 month olds are shorter than mine!)
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  • tistampsuptistampsup member

    Your DH needs to get it together.  Seriously. 

    Nights have been rough with LO, so DH has been going to bed a little bit earlier and waking up a few hours earlier to allow me to sleep.  When he gets home, I'll sometimes take a good nap, but a lot of times I'm on that "high". 

    Last night LO got to bed at 12:30.  At 3am, DH woke up, changed him, fed him, and then left for work at 6:30am.  It was nice. 

    Can your DH do that for you? 

    When DH couldn't quite "understand" what I was going through, I let him deal with LO.  All night, all day.  I locked myself up in the bedroom. 

     

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  • thebubble09thebubble09 member
    thanks for your thoughts- i should preface by saying that my dh is amazing.  he cleans, he cooks, i haven't used my washer/dryer for years (literally).  he has offered many many times to give bottles during the night, but i feel really guilty about not bfing at night.  we've given a few bottles but never when i've been home. i also refuse his offer to take the 9-12 shift because when i do fall asleep during that time i wake up really disoriented at 12 and its as bad as the 3am feeding for me.  ive been refusing his offers to help as much as hes been refusing my pleas for help, so its a bit confusing;  we also both work late hours so 3 nights a week we get home after 9pm. since well try the crib tonight and that's his preference he made it his responsibility to respond to the non-feeding cries tonight.  that was a good compromise.  since it's the weekend and i go to school and work on both days i think i'll ask him to do the same thing tomorrow night and we'll see how it goes.  i'm just worried he won't wake up when he hears her and i'll be stuck with it anyway... wish us luck...
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