friend's miscarriage--send something??

NicoleWI · April 2011

Good friends of ours just found out about a miscarriage at 10 weeks. Hardly anyone knew about the pregnancy but they told us early b/c they were at our house last week and she wasn't drinking. Is there anything I can do or send to them? Maybe just a card??

LoveEeyore · April 2011

I had a miscarriage before each of my successful pregnancies. The first time no one knew. The second time the entire world knew. A friend sent flowers and I appreciated the thought, but everytime I saw them it made me sad because their soul purpose for existing was to remind me that I lost my baby.

A card I think would be nice, but avoid the mushy i'm so sorry for... a simple, "Thinking of you, let me know when you're up for dinner" would do. BUT all women react differently.

ktb31 · April 2011

definitely! Just something to let them you know you are thinking about them.

Emcat1980@yahoo.com · April 2011

I got a girlfriend a peace lily and a card after her 2nd miscarriage. She said she really appreciated it.

bethCT · April 2011

I have had 4 miscarriages and really I didn't want anything, no flowers, no plants, just time and hugs. I didn't get offended by the flowers, but Dh and I just didn't want them and actually threw them out. Looking at them was too hard - they were pink... you know?

NicoleWI · April 2011

I actually thought that flowers might be hard--I don't think I'd want a visible reminder. I think I'll just send them a "thinking of you" card.

fignewt74 · April 2011

I wouldn't want anything at all.

One friend sent me a long card/letter just telling me what a great friend I am and some blah blah mushy stuff, which was ok, but there was NO mention of the m/c...thank goodness.

hewinked · April 2011

I've never had a miscarriage, but when DS died, I hated flowers and plants. It was just another reminder that things and people die. That's just me though. I appreciated cards and people saying, I'm here if you need me, instead of always being in my face. I'm so sorry for your friend's loss.

KelzinBoston · April 2011

After my m/c the few people that knew all just sent an email saying they were thinking of me and were available if and when I wanted to talk. Honestly, that was all I wanted...I didn't really want cards/flowers, but I did appreciate people acknowledging it and reaching out.

moosesgirl · April 2011

After my m/c I didn't want anything. I didn't even want to talk to people for a while. I appreciated texts and emails and responded when I felt ready to. I got a few gifts from close friends after I told then I was pregnant (before the m/c) and I was never able to use those items even after going on to having our daughter. They are all in the closet still and when I see them it reminds me of that time in our life. I can't bring myself to get rid of them either because they are important to me still.

xokell2 · April 2011

I appriciated little gifts after my m/c, someone on etsy makes a couple really sweet cards, guess everyones different.

The worst thing people did to me was ignore it and pretend it didn't happen then get all awkward.

ss+el · April 2011

LoveEeyore:
A friend sent flowers and I appreciated the thought, but everytime I saw them it made me sad because their soul purpose for existing was to remind me that I lost my baby.

A card I think would be nice, but avoid the mushy i'm so sorry for... a simple, "Thinking of you, let me know when you're up for dinner" would do. BUT all women react differently.

This exactly. I m/c at 13wks and by then it had started getting out to the extended family & my coworkers. Although I appreciated the sentiment, getting flowers (from work) made me a little uncomfortable.

mamamurphy · April 2011

I had 3 miscarriages before my daughter. One of my friends who knew always sent a card... not a super mushy card. Just a card to let me know she was thinking of me.

Always appreciated it, and still do. It was nice to have my loss remembered... noticed by someone else?! Does that makes sense.?

BobbiJanay07 · April 2011

I think I was most appericative(sp?) of the few friends that brought us dinner the week after my d&c. I am still so grateful for them to take that burden off my shoulders at that time.

lar1203 · April 2011

not sure if you're nearby, but i took my friend and her family dinner one night so she didn't have to cook. she really appreciated it.

Want a personalized experience?

friend's miscarriage--send something??

Re: friend's miscarriage--send something??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards