And the award for worst mom of the year....

cstyles · April 2011

....GOES TO ME!

I'm exhausted, frustrated, and just plain overwhelmed.

Nap time has become utter hell around here. No amount of hushing, walking, bouncing, etc gets him to sleep. He fights sleep like it is the enemy. I got so frustrated this afternoon I just had to go put him in his crib and walk away. He is currently screaming, but it has to be better than having me frustrated and ready to scream.

Why do we put so much pressure on ourself as mothers? I'm seriously breaking under this pressure??? Please, mother of older kids, tell me it gets easier?????

I'm ready to pop in a movie and let him just watch Sesame street for the rest of his life!

cstyles · April 2011

OH and DH just walked in the door and saw that he was screaming alone in his crib and now is positive that I am the worst mother in the world....WONDERFUl!

jkkg317 · April 2011

That sucks, better than hurting him out of frustration.

Libby1978 · April 2011

cstyles:
OH and DH just walked in the door and saw that he was screaming alone in his crib and now is positive that I am the worst mother in the world....WONDERFUl!

Not true! Sometimes that BEST thing to do is put them in their crib and go to a different room for a few minutes so you can calm down. Being a mom is a tough job & we all have those moments. The fact that you had to take a moment to keep from going insane does NOT make you a bad mother!

Fulbri05 · April 2011

Libby1978:
cstyles:
OH and DH just walked in the door and saw that he was screaming alone in his crib and now is positive that I am the worst mother in the world....WONDERFUl!
Not true! Sometimes that BEST thing to do is put them in their crib and go to a different room for a few minutes so you can calm down. Being a mom is a tough job & we all have those moments. The fact that you had to take a moment to keep from going insane does NOT make you a bad mother!

I agree with this completely. DS has been teething and I've been sick and I've had a few moments this week when I've wanted to scream. Needless to say I haven't felt nearly as guilty over our morning Sesame Street time.

cstyles · April 2011

I guess I should add....he was only in there all of 3 minutes, and had I known that Dh would be home any moment I would have stuck it out for 3 more minutes. Dh told me he was going to be late so all I could see were several more hours of melt downs because someone is boycotting their naps.

Dh just took Cooper for a walk to give me a break...oh and he doesn't think I'm the worst mother in the world. He was just shocked to come in to me letting Cooper cry in his crib. Dh is very anit CIO and has been long before we ever even talked about kids. It is probablly the only opinion he has on parenting.

stayathomedaddy · April 2011

I disagree with your award. I had to do the same thing to Isaac today (and the past few days). He gets SO mad when I try and put him down for a nap and he gets himself so wound up that the best thing for me to do is put him in his crib and let him be for a minute. Being "constrained" in my arms just isn't making him happy.

When I come back in after a few minutes he's in a much better mood and, usually, ready to try again.

m_and_m · April 2011

Oh mama, you're doing fine. I consider myself to be an awesome mom (it's probably the only thing I am 100% confident about, not that it means I know what to do or have all the answers), but I still have had times where I've had to walk away. I've had days as a parent that I'm less than proud of, days were I literally thought I was going to crack. It does get better, and being at the end of your rope doesn't make you anything besides human. Worst mother (parent) of the year goes to the ones who lose it and shake or beat their babies instead of walking away to calm down.

Ananke · April 2011

stayathomedaddy:
I disagree with your award. I had to do the same thing to Isaac today (and the past few days). He gets SO mad when I try and put him down for a nap and he gets himself so wound up that the best thing for me to do is put him in his crib and let him be for a minute. Being "constrained" in my arms just isn't making him happy.
When I come back in after a few minutes he's in a much better mood and, usually, ready to try again.

I've been needing to do this with DS lately too. You are definitely not a bad mom. We all reach that breaking point at some time, and it's better to put the baby down for a few minutes so we can compose ourselves rather than letting it build and lash out in anger or frustration.

ayram · April 2011

stayathomedaddy:

I disagree with your award. I had to do the same thing to Isaac today (and the past few days). He gets SO mad when I try and put him down for a nap and he gets himself so wound up that the best thing for me to do is put him in his crib and let him be for a minute. Being "constrained" in my arms just isn't making him happy.

When I come back in after a few minutes he's in a much better mood and, usually, ready to try again.

(just have to say I love the name! Our Isaac is 11 months (8 months corrected)

I do the same thing every now and then...I'm sure most parents have! Smile

cstyles · April 2011

Thanks everyone! It's good to hear that everyone else has been in the same boat.

After Dh came home he took Coop out for a bit (while at our friends house, they noticed his bottom tooth is coming in...explains it ALL!). I was able to pick up the house and get a long hot shower. I feel like a new woman! Best of all, Cooper finally went down for a nap!

We ordered an amber necklace yesterday, so hopefully that'll come in soon.

Ayram- how is your Isaac doing? Is he staying healthy? Sleeping any better?

I have to find some way to let Coop know it's naptime/bedtime. Maybe time to implement a stricter routine.

Kersbear · April 2011

Definitely not the worst mom of the year. We all have our days where we need a break and sometimes the little ones need a few minutes as well. Tomorrow is a new day.

ayram · April 2011

cstyles:

Ayram- how is your Isaac doing? Is he staying healthy? Sleeping any better?

I

Thanks for asking! He's been healthy for a week (yay...fingers crossed.) We saw the pedi last week, who said there's basically nothing we can do for him - puffers, steroids - everything they prescribe in the ER, none of that will help. He just has to get bigger, and stronger, so hopefully next winter he'll do better. If he does get sick again, we'll be referred to a pediatric respirologist...sigh. Sleeping is not getting any better yet but since he's healthier, we are hoping for some improvements!!

How about your little guy? Have the tubes helped, do you think? Did he recover okay from the procedure? Here's to a long summer with no illnesses!!

shaunna&chad · April 2011

H has been fighting naps every stinkin' day this week. Today was really difficult, I feel your pain. Hope your little guy eases up on you. And you totally aren't the worst mama in the world either!

Army_Wife_04 · April 2011

m_and_m:
Oh mama, you're doing fine. I consider myself to be an awesome mom (it's probably the only thing I am 100% confident about, not that it means I know what to do or have all the answers), but I still have had times where I've had to walk away. I've had days as a parent that I'm less than proud of, days were I literally thought I was going to crack. It does get better, and being at the end of your rope doesn't make you anything besides human. Worst mother (parent) of the year goes to the ones who lose it and shake or beat their babies instead of walking away to calm down.

I absolutely agree with all of this, well I definitely don't have 100% confidence in myself as a mother, but I agree with everything else.

I remember having to do that a few times in the past. Daytime sleep was non-existent in our house, and he was so overtired that he would just scream and I had to just put him down and let him cry for a few minutes to go into another room and just breathe and then I would go back to him and I would have the renewed patience that I needed to help him feel better.

Don't beat yourself up about this at all. You are a great mama to know you needed a break for a couple of minutes!

goodheartedmommy · April 2011

It gets much, much, much harder. You have to learn that you won't ever be perfect, and all you can do is try. Let go of the guilt and know that you will do far worse. Learn from your mistakes, but don't play the role of martyr. It does no mom any good.

webMistress0609 · April 2011

m_and_m:
Oh mama, you're doing fine. I consider myself to be an awesome mom (it's probably the only thing I am 100% confident about, not that it means I know what to do or have all the answers), but I still have had times where I've had to walk away. I've had days as a parent that I'm less than proud of, days were I literally thought I was going to crack. It does get better, and being at the end of your rope doesn't make you anything besides human. Worst mother (parent) of the year goes to the ones who lose it and shake or beat their babies instead of walking away to calm down.

Everything m_and_m said. FWIW, Ari was boycotting naps around your LO's age too. He finally dropped to 2 naps from 3, then at 9 months he dropped to 1, & now he's a champion napper. I set a 30 minute rule with him - if he wasn't asleep in 30, we got up & tried again later, or if it was too late in the day we just skipped & tried to get to bed early.

Hang in there mama!

Roxyroodle · April 2011

There are moments when the only thing that keeps me going is the idea that I could just walk out the front door and leave and never come back.

It is much better to put them in their crib and walk away for a few moments eat a piece of chocolate. Calm down and then go back, than try and fight with them when you are frustrated.

Good mommies put their babies in the crib and walk way bad mommies shake the baby. You are a good mommy.

elizabe · April 2011

Posts like these are exactly why I come to the AP board-- to know that I'm not alone doing this exact same thing and feeling the exact same way.

Amelia is getting two molars and now she's smart enough to recognize the start of the naptime routine and start doing everything she can to keep herself riled up...doing somersaults in her crib, standing up every time I lay her down, yelling at the top of her lungs and refusing to be held. On top of it all, I'm barely sleeping at night because she's up every hour or two wanting to nurse, so I'm running out of patience fast. It seems like every day this week I've had to leave the room for 2 or 3 minutes at naptime just for her to realize I'm serious, so you are not alone!

I don't post all that much (usually just lurk from my phone) but knowing that there are other moms out there going through the same kind of struggles, and the support you all offer, is what keeps me going some days!

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And the award for worst mom of the year....

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