I lost my twins.

Bleeding_Heart · October 2008

Monday morning I started very light pinkish spotting. ?I freaked out, but told myself it was nothing. ?Plenty of people spot in their 1st tri, and I told myself it was nothing to worry about unless it was actually RED blood. ?However, just to be on the safe side, I called my Doctor and he recommended a u/s.At the appointment, the technician saw no heartbeat. ?The doctor confirmed the pregnancy had failed.We were heartbroken.24 hours later, the Dr called saying "Well...maybe you didn't lose them". ??I thought that death was pretty black and white. ?Either they're gone or they're not! ?How can there be gray area? ?How can there be a "maybe they're fine" 24 hours after the "I'm sorry they're gone" ? ????I am supposed to be 11.5 weeks along. ?The Dr. suggested that perhaps I am simply measuring behind. ?He gave me hope for 48 hours, we run blood tests and this morning I went in for another u/s. ?He gave me false hope right until the end. ?Saying "Maybe, just maybe..."But the HCG levels confirmed it. ?My babies are gone.I am devastated and furious. ?How could my doctor give me hope, only to rip it away again??!? ?I don't even know if those post makes sense, but I just wanted to ?say something and get it out.Tomorrow I go in for a D&E. ?I am terrified. ??

cour10e · October 2008

What an emotional roller coaster the doctor put you on. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I'm sure the false hope made a terrible situation even more heart wrenching. Again, I am so sorry for you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

*jenjen* · October 2008

Aww sweetie, i'm so sorry. ?Your dr probably thought he was doing a good thing by giving you hope, but in the end it made it hurt even more. The girls here are wonderful and we will listen anytime you are sad or want to vent or anything. ?Good luck with your d&e tomorrow...fortunately that's the easy part. ?It'll take time for the emotional part to get better, but i promise it will. ?Take care of yourself.

nancyandnate · October 2008

I am so sorry for your loss. ?That is so heart breaking. ?Doctors and people in general say the wrong things in these situations. ?That is understandable that you'd be furious about that. ?I'm not sure exactly how the d&e differs from a d&c, but the anxiety leading up to the procedure was horrible. ?The procedure itself is quick and relatively easy. ?I hope it goes as well as it can and keep us posted on how you are doing.

irishmama13 · October 2008

I'm so sorry for your loss. What an emotional rollercoaster. Sending lots of hugs and thoughts your way.

elysialabita · October 2008

I am so so so sorry for your loss. The women here are wonderful. If you need anything of have any questions, please let us know. Good luck with your D&E tomorrow, it really is the easiest part of this hell we have to go through.

::Hugs to you::

ENev · October 2008

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

mrsmacias2008 · October 2008

Why would the dr. keep saying maybe especially afte rthere was no hb. I am so sorry you had to go through all of this. I know you are scared of a D & E. I had a D & C at a little over 3 months and felt the same. My m/c was very painful but when I came out of it I felt better (physically) I am sending you big hugs.

Annie Marie · October 2008

I'm so sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))

Clery · October 2008

I'm sorry for your loss. I know how the false hope feels a simialiar thing happened to me. It was awful I prayed so hard that it was viable but it wasn't. Good luck tomorrow. Stay strong. I know it is hard to believe right now but it will get better. Hugs

KristysRedBarn · October 2008

Hugs to you. I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is awful that your dr gave you false hope like that.

Cheerio B · October 2008

I'm so sorry for your losses and that what should have been your doctor helping actually caused you more pain.

Bride2b2004 · October 2008

I am very sorry for your losses.

Don't be afraid for the D&E. It is truly the easiest part of the whole process. The worst part for me was getting the IV, the actual procedure only took about 10 min. It is dealing with the loss of the much anticipated and already loved baby that is very tough. Just take it one day at a time and know you are not alone. ((hugs))

Cow-girl · October 2008

I am so sorry for your loss. I just went thru a D&C on Monday. I hope that all goes well for you and you can get on hte path to healing both physically and emotionally. I am very sorry that you had to join us here. The girls are wonderful here and will listen and help you through this horrible loss.

CMM05 · October 2008

I am SO sorry.....((HUGS)). I had a m/c at 10.5 weeks and the further along you are, the harder it is (at least for me......).

This board is really supportive......"talk" all you want. Good luck with your D&E....

MrsA2Be · October 2008

I am so sorry. I would be feeling the same way. I can't offer you anything except my prayers that eventually you find peace and comfort.

I had my D&E one week ago. I was terrified too, but all went well. I hope yours does too and you begin to physically recover. Hugs.

mrsandrews07 · October 2008

Just know that you are not alone sweetie. I'm praying for you and your husband. It is absolutely heart breaking and there are no words than can heal the hurt that we are all experiencing. One day soon we will all be blessed with little ones and our arms and hearts will be full! Keep your head up and don't lose hope.

shamrock79 · October 2008

I am so very sorry for your losses. I too lost twins, one at 9 weeks and one at 23 weeks, and it is so hard. I had to have a D&E a week after delivery for retained placenta, it's not bad, more emotional than physical pain. If your doctors didn't tell you much about it, I am sure many girls here can give you their accounts if you want. They do put you to sleep, it's about 20 - 30 minutes, I had very little pain afterwards, bleed for a few days, then spotted for a week, Again, I am so sorry...

JessMike07 · October 2008

I'm so so sorry for your losses! What an awful emotional roller coaster ride. I don't understand why the doctor would do that!!!! He should have said at your appointment lets do one more u/s in the next few days. Grrr. Again I'm so sorry for your losses!! :::BIG HUGS:::

PS Your animals are adorable! i just love Dexter!!

I lost my twins.

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